Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Found out the guy I'm seeing is in love with someone else
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
Grace12.
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Nina
I was going out with this guy for a month (we already knew each other from school and I had a crush on him) and then quarantine happened. He kept texting me everyday and replying to every single one of my ig stories. Has been two weeks that we haven’t seen each other. Today he posted a picture on ig with a music that talks about “the one and only love”, which obviously isn’t for me.
I know it’s not for me because he added a line that says “where did you go?”… And he knows exactly where I’m at. Doesn’t make sense to be for me.
The worst is that I like him very much and now I’m in pieces. I can’t stop crying, it feels like my heart is gonna explode.
I find a huge lack of respect to keep texting me and pretending being interested and then post a song about someone else. Wow!
I don’t know if I text him who’s the lucky lady or just disappear. Either way, I’m devastated.
Lola
Sometimes im in a lovey mood even if im not in love; could it be that this is meaningless post? Depends on his feed or post history, is he usually active? Id be sad too but Id give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe ask before ending it based on assumptions. A simple ‘nice song! whos it for’ or something casual like that and watch his response then act upon it.
Good luck!Nina
If I ask him and he tells me that was for someone else, can I text this??
“I wish you would’ve told me you weren’t feeling it. It was kind of hard to know because you kept in touch constantly and it kinda sucks because I liked you. I wish you all the best though.”
Newbie
No asking and texting that makes you look crazy. Truth is you didnt date that long, you already had a crush on him so aint seeing him with a clear view. Now you saw that post, assume he is grieving the loss of a relationship. Thats fair. He didnt made any promises to you. Just accept the fact he is not over an ex and back off
Nina
He kinda did though. He was so engaging with me and kept saying he was gonna visit me. And out of nowhere he does that.
kaye
If he’s replying to EVERY single one of your IG stories then certainly he knew you would see this. If it were me I would ask him “where did who go?” and see his response. Are you even in an exclusive relationship with him after only a month? I mean is he even technically your boyfriend yet? You say you were “going out” but that’s it. To me it sounds like because you had a prior crush you got way too invested in a short time.
Liz Lemon
You’re basing all this on a song he posted on IG. That’s a huge assumption to make. Perhaps he just liked the song? You don’t know his motivations for posting it.
Saying you’re devastated & crying over it is extreme to me. Mostly because you don’t actually know why he posted it. You decided it’s because he’s in love with another woman, but just because you think that doesn’t mean it’s true. But also, you say you were “going out” for a month- was he your boyfriend? How many times did you go out for that month?
I dunno, it just seems way overblown to me, to be devastated & crying over a guy’s IG post.Grace12
I agree with what Liz said.
Nina
Guys he just texted me a flirty meme. I DONT KNOW what’s up with this guy.
Maybe it was only a song. I hate myself for liking him this much.Khadija
All this over a song he posted? You’re overthinking this one.
Nina
So I didn’t ask about the song but I touched on this subject. What do you all think of this????
Me: “That’s ok but I have to ask, are you still interested on whatever we were having? It’s fine if you already know that this not what you want but I’m confused because you say you wanna see me and stuff and then sound a little uninterested. I can take honesty, I just don’t like being confused.”
Nina
Him: “I really like you, and I really want to pursue something if we can, but you’re right, I owe you honesty, and to tell the truth, I’m afraid of putting myself out there. I’m afraid of taking risks and opening up and spending time with you because my heart is still in pieces about my last relationship. I’m sorry to be sending mixed messages, I know how unfair and irritating that can be, but I really do want to try with you. I just have a lot of emotional damage I’m still trying to sift through.”
Ss
If you continue this you will get hurt.
As much of an overreaction as it was, you were right about the song being about his ex. He isnt over her at all and he has told you so too. If you stick around you are a fool.
Lala
I don’t know a single guy who would send a text like that.
Newbie
This guy doesnt want a relationship with you and now he has told you in 5 different ways. If you like him, you haver to tell yourself, you dont want a man who doesnt want you and walk away. Thats the only way to prevent being hurt further. You can take honesty you said, so i hope you act on it
Grace12
Your reply should be: “Thanks for being honest. It doesn’t sound like you’re ready for a relationship right now. I wish you all the best.” And then you need to set and keep some hard boundaries with him. You like him way too much to be communicating with him when he’s told you he isn’t ready for anything special.
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