Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Found pictures on bfs phone
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Raven.
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Taylor
A few weeks ago my boyfriend had appendicitis and was in the hospital. I was using his phone to call his boss and his dad about what was going on. When I opened his phone there pictures of other women open and they were in compromising positions. This is the second time this has happened. I know some people don’t see anything wrong with this but I personally feel that he has me he doesn’t need them and I’ve even offered to send him some pictures for when he needs them but he constantly says oh I’m not that kind of guy blah blah. So I let it go he deleted the pictures we moved on. Today he was showing me all these pictures on his phone and he scrolled across one and we got into an argument about it again I offered and he declined. Lately he’s been hiding his phone from me and acting super suspicious. He won’t leave his phone out where I can see it and he’ll start talking about something then quickly switch gears and change the subject. Idk if I’m just paranoid or if he’s actually hiding something. Help!
Ess
That is a major red flag. I’ve been in your situation, long story short and I didn’t waste a minute on that guy. If I were you I’d dump his ass. But since I’m not you, I’ll tell you one reality. That situation is something that you will always fight about. Either you lower your standards and accept the behavior, or you move on. Pick your poison.
Newbie
Offering to send him sexy pics so he can replace them with you is not really how this works.
Im confused how those pics get there. Does he take pics of attractive women and keep then on the phone or he follows a few sites on Facebook. I would say if they are fb feed, its harmless. If he actual stores pics on the phone, i would say he is in immature idiot.
Its not weird he is hiding his phone now. Because you yell when you get in contact with it. And worse offer him some jerk off material with your pics.
I do think the way he saves attractive women is immature. But its also pretty common for people to masturbate and fantasize about some one else than their partner. Its up to you where you stand on this issue. And find a way to talk about it. Clearly you realize by now yelling and demanding doesnt get the result you want.
I dont mind my guy looking at them. I know he has a few fb subscriptions. I do find it somewhat immature but I could happy watch them with him. But if he for example saves
pictures of women he knows, or plaster them all over fb, that wouldnt work for me. For the rest: he has a right to privacy and not think about me 24/7
So for you: go with what makes you comfortable and talk, not argue or demandTaylor
I understand if he wants to look at other women that’s great that’s fine he has every right to do it. But before he’s literally replied to those Craig’s list adds of lonely women, wanting to meet up and all that. Like actually seeking out other women while we are in a relationship. But you know I forgave him I let it go because he promised he wouldn’t do it again. So when he scrolled past this picture I didn’t get mad I didn’t yell. I just looked away and just didn’t say anything at first and then he’s like oops I meant to delete that you weren’t supposed to see that. Which is fine it’s not my phone. I do believe in people’s privacy I never said that I didn’t. It’s not like I grab his phone and go through it. He was showing me pictures. The reason we got into the argument is because he could sense that I was hurt and kept asking me what was wrong and I kept saying nothing and finally he got mad and I said I’m fine it’s your phone you can do what you want. But I have one thing to say and I was like I know that I saw other pictures on there before and before I could finish he yelled at me. Got out of the car and started yelling and walked away before I could even finish. All I was going to say was “i know there’s been pictures like that before and I know that if that’s what you want to do then it’s fine. But it just kind of hurts and makes me feel less beautiful.”
Newbie
I still dont understand what kind of pictures they are and where they come from. I do know that the history you now give us is meaningful. Its very logical that you dont trust him if he has actively tried to meet up with other women in your recent past. He should go out of his way to prove you can trust him. But instead he says Oops i meant to delete because you cant see it. Yeah right, thats a totally different story than your first post. That boyish immature behaviour i wouldnt put up with. Why were you so willing to forgive him when he was trying to hook up with other women? I dont think i would have. Its a clear sign he is not ready to settle.
Taylor
Some of them are topless women, a couple were of one woman who was completely naked posed in different positions. He gets some from google but the one woman in particular was one of the women from one of the Craig’s list ads he’d replied to and she had sent them to him. I think he told me that one of his friends sent him some too but he had conveniently deleted the text but forgot to delete all the pictures.
Newbie
If this is mixed with real girls and he keeps doing it and doesnt really remember, is vague, i would be done with him.
Or talk to him for the last time that you forgave him and he promised not to do it again and for you to trust that, he needs to be open en transparant. You can spend a lifetime with a guy like this and always wondering if he really loves you, is loyal etc while its eating away your selfesteem like you are already experiencing or start over with first being single and then find a better loyal loving guy.
All the best. There are probably others with better advice in how to deal. So i hope some can offer clearityRaven
So, these pix are of females he knows?!
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