From Eric: My thoughts on the forum

[caetru]

Thanks Eric for posting this. I think people (including myself) need reminders now and then. This is a forum where people talk about very personal issues and post topics of a passionate nature. It’s good to have many personality types and views. Sometimes people react to gentle advice and others get the point better stated less gently. As long as we are all giving our advice in a respectful, loving way it will be good. Honestly I don’t have a problem with anyone on here except one person now and I can usually ignore him. I missed the drama of Thomas, Paul, whoever…I guess I’m not reading enough!

So, if you don’t have any helpful advice to give in a respectful way then don’t say anything at all, don’t feed the trolls and bullies, and if you see something say something to you on FB…got it!

[kaye]

I have to agree with Harley and Khadija that Mike’s posts are annoying and seem to be the same only thing over and over and he’s posting like 8,000,000,000,000 times a day!! (Any of you who read his posts will get that reference! :) ) But it’s his prerogative to post and yours to choose to ignore him. To me it’s kind of like the Kardashians. If everyone would ignore them and stop watching their shows and buying their stuff they would have to go away already!! LOL There are always going to be people who have a difference of opinion than us but it is the ones who are only here to antagonize and instigate and cause drama that we should just stop responding to and step away before tempers and emotions get involved.

I just really enjoy this forum and the fact Eric has provided it as a resource to everyone out there dealing with relationship issues. And I hate when something happens with someone like Thomas or Mike that deteriorates into a situation where Eric has to come on here and deal with the childish nonsense. I feel like we’re all adults here and should respect each other and not go tattling to “daddy” Eric every time someone calls us a name or is rude to us. But with the thousands of threads on here those are such a small part that the good more than outweighs the bad. And the fact that Eric is willing to deal with those issues when they crop up and not just say the forum isn’t worth the time he’s devoting to it (non-incoming producing) and shut the whole thing down is very comforting to me. I would like this forum to be around well into the future!!

[kimf]

I love the comparison of Mike to the Kardashians! So perfect and true. If everyone would just ignore them, maybe they would go away ;).

[Hannah]

I’ve missed something. Who was Paul?!

I’m on the fence about Mike. I was deeply offended by him and wanted him to go away. Now my assessment would be he’s very flawed to say the least and I think has been tainted by all that pick up artist rubbish. But I do think he’s genuine (he’s now posted 2 external links where he’s saying pretty much the same stuff as on here). Offering him any help is pointless but some of his posts end up generating interesting points. I just don’t allow him to get to me and if he starts I ignore him.

Wine for me too!

[Cali89]

Sorry Eric about my email being posted! Won’t happen again, just trying to help as much as possible in a “private” setting. I will NOT post that email again.

[Mae]

Hannah:

“Paul” was another “male” poster who chimed in earlier today in the “He Said He Needed Space” thread. Eric discovered “Paul” was also “K”, another poster. Same scenario as yesterday, “Thomas” and “Kat.” Childish rubbish.

[Hannah]

Mae urgh who are these weirdos! ?

And very well said Kaye, including about the Kardashians!

[Mae]

People who have way too much time on their hands, or who feed off drama.

[Leigh]

Hi Eric, Thank you again for setting the record straight! It bothered me so much how some people don’t know how to interact with people who ask for help on social media. I think you took care of everything. I will continue to pay attention to my responses. My comments might be completely out of the loop with most people here but it is my opinion coming from a different background.

My question: How do you feel about participants posting copies of your emails here on the forum? I enjoy yours and Sabrina’s emails and find it a good topic for discussion.

Thank you!

[Lenore]

Hi Eric!

I’m not on too much and if I am, I don’t comment much but since I have your attention, I thought I’d throw this out there. (Now I totally understand the cost of running such forums) but have you ever thought of having a different format for the forum?

I’m on another forum (geared more for parents) and on there, you can create your own profile (nothing elaborate) and can send private messages between members and each “group” has “group owners” who monitor the groups and have the ability to get rid of the posers and trouble makers. Just something to chew on….

I love this forum and am VERY grateful for it, so THANK YOU!!!

[Eric Charles]

Hannah – Mike has posted external links? When/where?

Leigh – I would prefer copies of our emails not be copied into the forum. Discussed, sure, but my feeling is that if people want the emails, they should get on the email list. I have more reasons for it, but I’m going to leave it at that…

Lenore – yes, actually, we used to have a forum more like that in the old days. It had it’s own limitations…

First off, the forum software that’s out there is pretty atrocious and it opened security holes that spammers rampantly exploited… it just wasn’t worth it to need a full time tech person just to wrestle with a forum that *costs* money to run already…

Second, the requirement of having accounts is something I’d like to avoid… it has it’s pros and cons. I like the ability for people to post here quickly and easily without a whole setup process. It’s not totally out of the question if circumstances force me to do it, but I’m hoping that doesn’t have to happen.

[Lenore]

I get it but I will add that I’ve made some pretty good friends on this forum who have helped me tremendously. I am really close to these gals. And we only became friends because one of them erroneously put her name on here so we could find her on Facebook. Luckily someone took it down.

But I get the ability to quickly post, it is user friendly (despite those that don’t know how…lol).

[kimf]

Eric! quick shut down that illumanati thread!

[kaye]

Not trying to step on any toes by answering for you Hannah, :) but I wanted to let Eric know the external links Mike posted were in his comments on page 7 of the thread “How Much More Difficult is Dating for Younger Men in Suburbs vs City?”

He had also posted the external link to his picture before in one of his early threads but I didn’t go back and look for that one.

[Eric Charles]

K, thanks Kaye.

You’re right, it’s not allowed but in this case I’m going to let it be since it was relevant to the conversation and it wasn’t promoting another website, product or anything… just a picture pertinent to the conversation.

[Hannah]

Kaye not stepping on my toes at all! I’m grateful for you answering!

In Mike’s defense I don’t think he knew not to post links. It just goes with his whole image focused personality. I’m not saying I like it (at all) but I don’t think he meant to do anything wrong.

And iilluminati?! I’m on here all the.time. How come I miss the crazy stuff?!

[Leigh]

Eric, Thank You and noted!

[Raven]

The link “Mike” provided, led to a LOT more than a couple of pix!

[Maria]

Why do we never hear from Sabrina?

[Eric Charles]

Raven – Yeah, my staff deleted a lot of them before I was even made aware… so I think a lot of them were taken down, not sure.

Maria – Sabrina will definitely be in the forums on Sunday at 8 PM EST for the “Ask Me Anything” (AMA) session. So you can ask her then :)

[Eric Charles]

Regarding forum stuff:

Hey everyone – I recorded an audio message for all your forum community members regarding behavior in the forums, Mike, etc.

So… rather than type it, you can hear my thoughts on it as soon as it uploads…

[Eric Charles]

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