FWB dumped me

God Stefanie, you helped me so much with your posts and i never knew we had a similar f’d up year. Mine was losing a job, house burning down and heavy surgery. All within 6 months. Weird right, that you go through a crappy year and then guy you think you need comes along and messes with your head. I healed myself and this forum helped me a lot to think. I’m all back to my normal self, but i will never forget what low esteem attracts.

Oh wow Newbie… I’m sorry to hear that. And I am very glad to hear that I helped you too!!

Calling all girls reading this post, and most of all you dear Alex… I tried to end my life a month ago because I was so depressed and was losing everything I worked for and was this close to homelessness and hunger and life on the street. NO KIDDING. I”m 50 years old. I couldnt handle it. I hit rock bottom and I wanted off the planet because I couldn’t see any other way. I was so wrong. But when you’re depressed it seems like the only way out of the pain. I”m here to tell you there are other ways.

It all collapsed because I was ill for so long and then because of the depression hit the wall at 100 MPH. I am so so grateful it didn’t work and I didn’t injure myself. I have a great counselor, I’m on the meds and working towards getting off them by the end of the year. They are good for a while but the side effects are driving me nuts and in the long term it’s about your thinking and outlook on life.

A man will not solve your problems. No one will. Only you can do that. Others can help… and you do need help you can’t do it alone that is for sure. But it is your life and no one can mind it like you can.

I was desperate for a family because mine fell apart in my teens and I married the wrong man. A good man overall – and who has done his best to help me out when i was sick this year – but not the right man for marriage and a family with me. He embodied the most harsh qualities of BOTH my parents. You know what… until you work it out you will keep attracting it. And the good side of that is each time you encounter someone who brings out the worst in you it’s a golden opportunity to turn it around. I heard it said that “no man is your friend, no man is your enemy, every man is your teacher.” And when you see it that way it isn’t so painful.

I’ve written the book – 50 pages just came out over the past month and I”m going to finish it this summer while I continue getting well. Then I”m going to publish on Amazon and then I’m going to help people face and clear their depression forever and live happily ever after. We are here to experience love and joy not sorrow and anguish. We are for sure going to hit some snags… but when you learn the right mindset, you can get through it without getting pulled into the depression swamp. I’ve done it, I know everyone who is reading this who may be in pain or sadness can do it too. Stay with us. You are valuable and you have something to give the world. And there is a great partner out there for everyone.

Hey Stefanie,

You said “I’m on the meds and working towards getting off them by the end of the year. They are good for a while but the side effects are driving me nuts and in the long term it’s about your thinking and outlook on life.”

That’s the sanest and best way to go about it. Meds definitely help in the beginning but when you don’t cut yourself off them after a while, they become a problem and not a solution, because most meds for depression these days are addicting and dangerous for our health in the long run.

Changing your thinking and outlook on life from negative (sad, depressed) to positive (happy, passionate) is the best way because it is a change that will last a lifetime. I found being thankful/grateful for even the little things helps me when things start to look bleak.

Lady, you are a TRUE INSPIRATION. Keep up the great work! :) <3 ya!

Apathetic is the worst kind of depressed… it’s the lowest rung on the feeling scale. Been there. I was going for for days without leaving the house, getting dressed or showering because I just. did. not. care. That was the bottom for me – I’m always clean and well put together. It was shocking to see what what was happening to me and I just could not be asked, as we say here in England. The good news about the bottom? The only way is UP.

stephanie and newbie u guys are truly inspirational. lotsa love and sunshine ur way.

I too hit rock bottom two years back regards my career and personal life was also not going great guns. luckily I was monetarily comfortable since I have worked for years and have my savings. plus family support. my elder sis who is just 15 months older was a great mental and emotional support to me. but yes there was a time when I couldn’t care about anything. had put on weight and stopped interacting wid family friends and turned into a loner. I too wondered why wake up every morning when there was nothing for me to do.. I did vent like alex at times but only to my sis. with other family members I couldn’t share my grief and feeling of being lost. and whenever I talked self defeating stuff I wld get a thwack from my sister. that kind of talk really doesn’t help.

I finally invested some of my hard earned savings and started doing my own thing with a partner professionally and m in the early stages of setting up my business. it took lot of courage to get back when u hit bottom but we all did.

its all in the mind. and if u want to get out of the rut, u can. but u should want to. some people may need the help of professionals some of us the loving support of close friends or family. whatever works. work towards having an optimist view and stick around with positive people. that helps. I cut out people/friends who only bitched and talked negatively. that doesnt help at all and just gets u and morale down.

wish all of u here all the best..:-)

My family arent

Stephanie Im in England too

Courage has to be lauded. And these ladies picked themselves up from the absolute rock bottom and decided to fight and stay happy. speaks a lot about them. hats off.

I think u Alex in addition to depression are also suffering from persecution complex. u are turning against the very same people who were trying to help u with their candid views. and attacking them for speaking their minds. that’s the thing people try to post what they think and feel is right based on their thinking and experience. u are welcome to pay heed to it or not. unfortunately u wont always hear things good things or things which always put u on a pedestal. if u choose to only see negative in people then m sorry to say u really wont have any friends nor family to support u.

Out of the numerous positive encouraging comments that we have posted you choose to zero in on the stuff which tells u to snap out of ur self pity mode and help urself. sigh.

your life and your choices. m not going to post anything here any more. wish u all the best..

You can do it Alex- go get help.

Congrats to newbie and Steph. Inspirational! Love this :” no man is your enemy, every man is your teacher”.

So the person who laughed and said is this for real.why would i make it up.

Alex GO GET HELP! Seriously. I am done replying to this thread. You are STILL focusing on the wrong things and the constant whining and feeling sorry for yourself is draining.

Good luck to you.

Alex, no one is laughing at you or ridiculing you, honestly. Not long ago, we had a rash of fake posts on this site and one of the hallmarks of a fake post is someone who goes around in circles. Gang, we have to take her seriously, she needs our help. I understand everyone is frustrated with her. The depression is debilitating. I’m asking for us to get behind Alex -if you can’t support her, best to stay off here, she’s fragile. Alex, please honey ignore anyone who isn’t supportive and know that it isn’t personal.

Ok Stefanie, you make a good case. I’m behind Alex and i want her to find her true self and power to help herself become the person she is supposed to become. And that is not a person, who is falling apart over a bad boy. We know she has a busy job, so she can handle herself, which means she has the tools to work on herself too with help.