Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Fwb experts needed please!
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 8 years, 11 months ago by
Eric Charles.
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Daniella
So i finally found what i think is a fitting candidate for my sex problem (free, not looking for a gf, similar interests, high drive). Now he is a lawyer, he works in a town 50 km away the whole week. I Live with my kids. Last week i exceptionally had the House all to myself so he came and it was Great! We expressed to each other we want the same, friendship, ie doing sports together and sex, exclusive. He texted me the next day. No plans to meet up, busy etc. Then on wednesday i told him to go sailing on weekend and stay at a hotel. To which he asked if im alone at Home this weekend. I said no, and told him we ll have to do with the hotel. He said he ll confirm depending on the wind. The next day he told me wind will be too low, he ll have something to do on saturday, which is fine with me, but that mínimum we should meet for a quicky. Friday sexting, saturday nothing, until 4 am, when he sent me where are you? My question is, is this a communication problem? Lack of interest problem? Games? Busy? Cause i Dont see Why it has to be so complicated, we are two consenting adults each with our lives, so cant meet at each other houses. I proposed a hotel, he wanted to come my House, or quicky. How do i tell him, without sounding offended? Or do i drop it all together? We hit it off in the bedroom and i have a hard time finding someone who i desire sexually..but i wont beg for it, and whats the use of an fwb with whom there are no benefits?!
Julie
I have a FWB a much younger guy, we have been on and off for 4 years. To me from what I have read (unless I have read it wrong) you are talking about sports etc, with my FWB it simply is just meeting at mine for a hook up and hanging out watching TV for an hour or so afterwards or before! We do not meet for anything else. If I ask him if he is free or if he asks me if I am free its simply a yes or no. I live on my own and he is local so I can understand that you have to arrange stuff more in advance. For me it is what it is, if we hook up great if we don’t then I am not bothered. It looks to me as yours is a bit more of interest in each others lives, I know the basics of whats going on with my FWB’s life and we are friends, but I have nothing invested in him,I think you need to speak to him and get some communication rules in place, I had to do this last year with mine!! Enjoy your fun!
redcurleysue
Casual FWB is many times on the fly. It is a lower priority than a GF and is simply sex.
So, it sounds like it is correct for the relationship…but, I wonder if he is seeing another woman…he seems to have lots of excuses.
Maria
I am in a FWB right now, and on the surface it is just like another relationship. We go on dates and THEN go to his place for sex. He owns a house. But we always do something nice before we have sex. We also communicate every day, texting mostly. he flirts and sexts and we exchange news on life events. It is a light friendship between two adults. He is much younger than me so there is no future, we started off like that and seem to be able to keep it this way. It is an exclusive FWB too. We have a projected “end” date, which we can extend if we want to.
There is no need for any games and digital power plays, there is no need for things to be cynical or unpleasant, my guy seems to understand that very well and agrees to that 100%. And it is not hard at all. A a few nice texts every day, some thought into what to do on a date, if we need to reschedule, we give each other a few days of notice, the same way you’d be with any friend.
Your FWB arrangement needs to work for YOU. You need to negotiate the terms and if you are not happy, simply tell him what you need to change. But do not text about it. Talk in person or over the phone.
Your guy is a lawyer, so talk to him, he should appreciate the “power of agreement”. lol
Hannah
It’s FWB so you can take it or leave it. Normal relationship rules don’t apply. I can’t see a problem here. You don’t need to see each other or be in touch every day, it’s just when it works for both of you.
It’s good you’ve talked about your goals. I’d also mention expectations. How often you’d like to meet and hear from him etc.
For me FWB does have a friends element to it. I have been in this situation and exclusive. We have been good friends and have “dated”. It’s finding a groove that works for you. You actually need to communicate more at the start than in a normal relationship as there are no rules. You make them up as you go along. One guy I saw every Friday. Another it was literally when we could as we lived far apart but we spoke a lot on the phone.
Daniella
Lol Maria! What is your age difference between you? Mine is 5 years younger (30). He texted me this morning saying He s got his House for himself, but thats the House 50 km away and he knows i dont drive..its à bummer cause i know we want the same thing..why did he for exemple not accept my offer for the hotel, only to text me at 4 am..those who can get a regular sex that works are so lucky!! I d kill for that kind of arrangement right now, and yet, i cant show it as it kills the romance, comes across as needy, its delicate. How would you guys stipulate it, like, this is what i want, a night together once every two weeks and a quicky every week/10 days?! I dont know if i should sit him down and be contractual about it? At the same Time this is casual..
Eric CharlesKeymasterYou might find this article helpful:
==> FWB Rules
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This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Eric Charles.
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This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by
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