Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › German man, is he being flirty or just friendly?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by
Ivy.
-
AuthorPosts
-
mandag
I [f/50] have a serious crush on someone I came across online [m/34] (okay, so I’m a Cougar…maybe.).
Okay, for some background, I am married, not happy, considering changing my situation possibly next year. He is single as far as I know, lives alone in Germany – does not talk about his status specifically, but everything he has said points that he is single. I’m not sure that he knows I’m married, I never told him and he never asked. There is a possibility that he knows I am, however based on FB statuses I was tagged in.
We connected online over a common interest over a year ago. First I started emailing him about our common interest and he eagerly replied, very friendly, etc. I would comment on and praise his work. I would ask him for his advice on projects I’m working on and he would give me some good feedback. Every time I would get a message from him I would get a rush and feel dizzy. He started following me on a FB page I manage (so he could get updates on my project more easily). Then he friended me on FB, which of course I accepted. I think maybe he did that to find out more about me (like see if I’m married).
We share a lot of the same interests, and it is freaky at times. He often makes it a point to tell me (with a winky face ;-) ) that he shares the same interest or thought, etc. He also does consistently punctuate his messages with lots of :-) and ;-). We got talking (messaging) one day and he said he was planning on visiting the U.S. in the future (not sure near or far future) and he said he would stop by and say hi. I said how that would be very cool and was looking forward to it. Being that he is German (I’ve read that German men are not very forward and it’s up to the woman to make the move, not sure if I believe that or not.). it’s hard for me to get a reading on if he is open to something more than just this email and FB friendship. I am afraid of offending him and losing the friendship, and that would really hurt. Though, being that he is not here, I also feel that maybe I have nothing to lose.First off, I just want to know if he is being flirty but shy, or if that is just his way of being nice.
Yes, I know the age and distance thing is a huge issue, and may even be the sole reason this could all blow up in my face, but if there is a possibility, I could work out the distance issue.
…what would you do? Be subliminal about it or get right to the point and ask him?Ann
Woooooooo. Hold up.
You are married. This will be a train wreck. Are you asking if you should be pursuing a relationship, without even knowing if he is married?
Deal with your marriage. If it is unsalvageable, end it. The emotions that are funneling into this fantasy with the German guy will come to nothing. It is a way of you avoiding the real issues you need to tackle in your life.
Gemini615
The bigger issue here is that you’re married, not the age or distance.
Why does it matter his intentions? You are not available if you are married, and if he doesn’t know that yet, when he finds out I don’t think he’ll feel more of an urge to pursue you.
If you’re not happy, why don’t you at least deal with ending your marriage before you starting worrying yourself about whether or not a guy on FB is flirting with you?
Sorry, but I don’t see this going anywhere/ending well.
Harley
German men are not shy about coming forward. I’ve been with one of late.
They are very focused, direct and honest.They know what they want in life.
This guy is just having fun. you are wasting your time.. and you are married.
Stop living in a fantasy world and work on your marriage.. or leave it.
If this guy were really interested.. he would be visiting you.
Ivy
Perhaps get a divorce before starting to look for a new man. If you want to change your situation, change it, don’t possibly change it.
Also, you are in way over your head, you are getting excited over this man’s use of emoticons, really…..if that is all it takes for you to get excited then you are making yourself vulnerable to a lot of men with not so great intentions.
Honestly, everything is an issue here. This isn’t grade school, relationships have real consequences, you don’t know this man, you don’t know his intentions, you dont’ know if he is interested in you and you can’t judge all that by a flirty email, text, or an emoticon.
What exactly do you want? Do you want an affair? Are you hoping this could be something real? If you want something real, you gotta be real, and that means knowing an emoticon means nothing in terms of a man’s feelings and intentions, and neither of you know one another.
Also, you’d be starting off something with a lie if you have not told the new guy. Even if you would be the one doing the cheating, you are the one who stands the most risk for getting hurt if you are hoping this could be love.
-
AuthorPosts
