Girlfriend gets really hyped up for sex and changes her mind last minute all the

Wow that’s got a be frustrating. It’s quite crappy behaviour IMO. Could it be due to the fact that she perhaps wants it when she can’t have it, then when she can, it puts her off? This is quite strange behaviour. Maybe she wants to try new stuff, or that she doesn’t feel satisfied after sex? Have you tried talking to her about it?

So it’s a low libido kinda thing then? Is she on any medication or changed birth control methods at all? All of these things can cause a low libido, so can stress, anxiety or depression. Is she herself in every other aspect?

It sounds like you’re doing all the right stuff. The only things I see is that you guys are really young. You’re at that point where you might be on different paths and could be drifting apart. I hope you’re on the same path. lol, What if you did something drastic with your look? Facial hair, hair cut, hair color, clothing, anything. Give her something different. Maybe she needs a slight change in you.

Hi Dan

You sound like a caring boyfriend but I have to say your girlfriends behavior to me sounds almost abusive. It is incredibly unkind to work someone you love and care about and who loves and cares about you into a frenzy and then completely douse them over and over. Sure that may happen once in a while – due to circumstances not in a partners control. But to do it repeatedly in my mind is one of three explanations 1) she is having sexual dysfunction and needs to seek therapy to understand not only why she is not up for the actual sex as well as WHY she thinks it’s okay to tease you and not follow through or 2) she is having an affair and is attempting to placate you into thinking things are still hot between you so you don’t suspect but cannot or will not follow through on the actual act or 3) she is a narcissist.

I agree with Maria – of course you don’t want her to do anything she doesn’t want to do but it would be unhealthy for you and your self esteem to not expect her to address this issue as soon as possible.

Best to you

I would be concerned why her behavior has changed so drastically after 3 years. I agree that it’s crappy behavior for her to tease you and then turn you down later. I can’t imagine the blow to your ego and self esteem being shot down so often. She is definitely going through something and the two of you need to figure out what that is so you can get your sex life back on track.

I know that my “primetime” is between 10a and 5p. Obviously this can’t happen often. It’s just that after dinner then TV it’s getting late and I start feeling tired, I’ll have a dip in my libido. But it’s not enough to keep me from being with my boyfriend at night. I certainly would not turn him down after teasing him.

I wonder what would happen you stopped responding to her teasing? You could kindly let her know that you would like to save it for later when you get home.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I don’t think she is cheating on me, I don’t have any solid proof obviously but she is one of the nicest honest girls I’ve met that’s why I fell for her, my ex was cheating on me and before I actually found out I had this feeling like I could almost sense that something was going but I haven’t felt that well I hope she isn’t cheating on me lol. Other than the sex thing she’s still really loving towards me and generally happy

What kind of sex did we have? We tried about just about everything, we’ve also been up trying and doing new things

One of the things she does say is she struggles getting wet, during foreplay she’s fine but if the actual sex goes on to long she gets dry and it feels uncomfortable, I’ve suggested we stop and do more foreplay until she feels better but by that point she just doesn’t want to and she’ll just finish me off and be done. She says I still turn her on and she is enjoying it, she just gets dry

Ok so I tired to talk to her, she got really defensive and just told me she is trying and she can’t help it if she’s not in the mood

Then went on to tell me that I’m making her feel bad about it, what’s the best way to start this conversation do you think?

After reading everything everyone said I have say when it comes to advise I’m not always great at it but thinking from her point of view yes she may be cheating she may not be yes it can be stress and not. Maybe after al these years of dating she likes that she can turn you on and that you still want her eveytime it makes her feel good powerful maybe even. Yes its not right and you should give her a taste of her own medicine but it can be that shes scared maybe working you up she might feel like doing it wil maybe not ne good enought for you like the talks better than the doing. Also can be the reason she gets dry maybe stressing its not good enough? When it comes to talking about it shes going to get upset she’s trying and its just not working, sit next to her stare at her even when she’s watching something els and when she finally cracks tell her how beautiful she looks how lucky you are to have her just kiss her. Dont push for more dont let she push for more just kiss on her head cheacks and lips thats all. Keep telling her you love her and you’ll wait and than just cuddle. I hope it works and that she’s not playing you

Hi Hannah thats an amazing answer and very well though out as well, to be fair everyones answers have been very helpful, I honestly don’t think she’s cheating on me she not that kind of girl but I think what you are saying about her mind being the greatest sexual organ holds a lot of weight, I try not put pressure and reassure her it’s of as much as I can that I don’t mind not having sex.

I do have some good news though I’m nt sure if it ties into what people have been saying about the sexual attraction or not but my boxing club holds a few charity fights on boxing day, I had fight earlier (why I haven’t been on much today), Sarah came to watch me fight, usually im quite reserved and despite being in a good condition and shape I don’t like going topless in public something i’ve had ever since my very over-weight days. But I forgot my shirt today so I had to fight topless. She really seemed to like seeing me in the ring like this, and she loved watching me fight because it was a tough fight the other guy was bigger and stronger than me but I won in the third round.

I didn’t know how into it she was until we got home and she was all over me pretty much as soon as we walked through door, she asked me to be more rough and aggressive with her like how I was when I was fighting (which I’m not normally like that during sex) and we had some amazing sex it felt just like how it used to. I know this probably isn’t going to be the complete fix im looking for but its a step in the right direction I think, maybe seeing me in a new light helped bring something back?

what do you think?

So this is funny because I am dealing with this same thing with this girl that Ive only known for 2 weeks. However shes been hinting, even full on stating literally, that she wants to have sex and all these things, but when I went back to her place 2 times she was always “tired”, not feeling good, etc. Like I’m not a mean guy, and I totally respect that she wasnt in the mood anymore, so I will just end up leaving blue balled af, but the way she kept building up the idea of us fu**ing lead me to believe and expect sex. She would say things like her pussy was really tight and that she enjoyed oral and asked if I liked giving, etc. Etc. Really personal (sorry) stuff yet excessive just go give u an idea, and made me think she full on wanted it. She also masterbated on video call for me, as well as sending me many multiple nude pics. She would then hint on having me come over that night or another night to do it, and then when I get there she will just act weird and not want to do “it”. This has happened twice and both times I got really annoyed by it. The first time it happened I mentioned to her that I didnt like ppl who stringed ppl along, and if that’s what she was doing then I wouldnt have liked that. She apologized and said she wasnt trying to and then said that we should do it that night and asked me to come over but I didnt. To me it does feel like a attention thing, because I know she isnt seeing somebody else, and we are not exclusively together, and she wants me to be with her. She did end up doing it again and I left the house pretty bummed out and not in a good mood. She noticed again and we did talk a little about it the next day (today) and then she blamed “woman issues” for her being distant when we were together.

Reading this made me feel better (well. Not for ur situation, and hope it has gotten better), knowing that girls do do this.i do like the advice from the one user saying I should pull the same thing on her. That’s something I’d love to try :) give them a taste of their own medicine. She did come on strong but in my case I think it was more to grab my attention and get me to be with her and like her more while not really giving it up as she implies.

I am rejecting all of her proposals and come-ons now, and shes keeps feeling bad and confused. Like I feel like saying, “bi***, u know what u did, and what you’re doing.” Lol

Anyway this didnt really help you but it felt relieving to get this off my chest :) hopefully this helps out another stranger