Going no contact, going well!

Rae it goes fast!! Can’t say its been easy. But in my case i really have my days were i am truly down. But then again i talked to him every single day for more than 10 years so…but today makes it 50 days exactly and 42 days since he called. and tomorrow is his birthday :-(

Hi Lucy – I’m only on day 4!!! How ridiculous do I sound, its not even been a week. I miss him already.. :(

Hi Leah, It does have its easy days and some are much harder! In my case he just asked for some space, I know I can be overwhelming at times but I don’t mean to be. I said to him when we had ‘the talk’ if you think we should just forget this whole thing i’m cool with that, as much as I don’t want to Im not going to force anything its not right, his response was.. All I want is space for a little bit but we will meet up soon and talk, then he kissed me goodbye! So hard..

I have my good days, yesterday was a good day, today not so much!

I think the longer it is the harder it can get because it causes us to think wow he actually hasn’t bothered! I just hate the word ‘space’ I feel like it could be a cowards way to end it, but I feel as if I know him well enough to know he wouldn’t bother with space if that was the case, he would just say this isn’t working. Let’s hope! You’re doing really well Lucy! Well done girl :)

Leah – 11 years is a long time!!! Being in limbo is awful, I cant stand it and it is exactly where i’m at right now! I totally know how you feel, it just feels like they couldn’t care less but sometimes men are better at this space stuff. When did you last talk, sorry if i’m making you repeat yourself!

Rae – Totally agree about the feeling about how he hasn’t bothered! I see he’s been online on a certain social media app though a few times… Especially after I’ve posted on other sites he’s still following me on! I’m not checking up on him though, i’ve just noticed, haha.

I’m struggling on day 19! Stop me! Haha. I can do it this time! I swear! Although the longest we’ve gone is 21 days before, and that was when he initiated contact.

I’m glad to hear! Well done!

Yeah, that makes complete sense!

Just completed 20 days :D Can’t believe I’ve actually managed to get this far either!

10 more days to go!

Panicked when I woke up this morning though, dreamt I’d text him after a moment of weakness! Thankfully hadn’t!

Good you you GirlDating :)

Day 25: Still going strong, I sometimes even question whether speaking to him after the 30 days up is a good idea anymore… I don’t even feel like speaking to him or miss him now! This could change though! 5 more days!

Congrats Lucy, you are the absolute epitomy of why NC works! You either get him back or you learn to find yourself again – win win

I just hit 23 days NC and broke it. I told myself I had to get to 21 days, so I am glad I got that far, and decided I would send a friendly text about a book he had always asked me to read that I just finished. We had a quick, pleasant exchange, which should be good…but instead it leaves me wondering if I should even be spending my time with this. If he was interested, it would have been more than just general pleasantries, right?

I am wondering if I just need to drop him. If he reaches out, I can re-evaluate at that time, but is it ever a good thing to have to initiate?

For reference, we met 1.5 years ago, started out as a casual fling that fizzled a little for no reason, we both just got busy. About 7 months ago, we ran into each other and started seeing each other exclusively. Things were great, I spent Christmas with his family (family is a big deal to him) and started to get pretty serious. I got nervous about it, brought it up, he realized he was also not in a good place to be serious as he is trying to figure out his career stuff right now, so we broke up. But I hate it, I think he just needs time, but I know I shouldn’t wait around for it. Gah, relationships suck sometimes, right? LOL.

I’ve been 22 days NC and the past few days haven’t been so well. I’ve been missing him a lot more and feeling down lately. But I guess if this was easy we wouldn’t have forum like these! I’m glad you’re making progress. But I hope you weren’t doing 30 days NC just to get him back. I hope you were working on yourself!

@JenJ In my opinion, he should be the one to come to you.

Day 26: He’s just messaged me, do I reply at all? Shall I give it a day or wait out the full 30 days?

Thoughts are much appreciated :)

Hi Lucy,

He reached out though that’s good you didn’t give in! What did he say? I’m on day 5 and i’m going crazy!