Good first date- then went on vacation

This topic has 14 replies and was last updated 5 years, 3 months ago by ANM Staff.

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July 5, 2019 at 10:07 am #755963

Daisy

Had a really nice first date with this guy I met online earlier this week.. We seemed to have a ton in common. After the date, I sent a text saying I had a really nice time, safe travels (he was leaving the next day for CO to see his family for the next week), and hopefully we could get together when he gets back. He responds that he had fun too, and that he would love to get together when he gets back (no need for comments on my texting follow up- if a guy is decent and actually interested, this shouldn’t turn him off. And if it does, he probably wasn’t that interested anyway).

So, that was on Monday. Now it’s Friday, and haven’t heard from him. He’s in Colorado until Tuesday. Is this normal? After we first connected online and texted for two consecutive days (Sat and Sun), we made plans for the following week, and I didn’t hear from him that whole week either. So maybe he’s just not into texting? I know he’s busy spending time with his family, but thought it would be nice for him to check in. Unless he’s really not interested?

July 5, 2019 at 10:41 am #755971

Raven

“(no need for comments on my texting follow up- if a guy is decent and actually interested, this shouldn’t turn him off. And if it does, he probably wasn’t that interested anyway).”

But now, you’re wondering if he is interested & why he’s not text you back…

July 5, 2019 at 10:47 am #755973

Daisy

I’m not questioning if my last text was what turned him off. I would be asking this question regardless. But mentioned it, bc he seemed to be enthusiastic about meeting again in his response. And before we parted he mentioned about getting together once he was back as well.

July 5, 2019 at 10:51 am #755974

Becky

Yes that’s normal. You just met this guy and had one date. It would be strange if he was contacting you all the time. He’s enjoying his vacation and will contact you after Tuesday. He told you that, no need to contact him (do not text/call as that will appear as if you are over eager or chasing) and that would be interfering with his vacation.

July 5, 2019 at 11:01 am #755975

Daisy

I definitely don’t intend to reach out, especially while he’s away and there with his daughter, who he doesn’t get a ton of time with.

I guess the reason I ask is bc most guys I’ve dated, if it has gone well, the guy usually reaches out within a day or two, just to at least keep up the momentum. I’m not a fan of a lot of texting either, but it’s nice to know you’re on someone’s mind.

July 5, 2019 at 11:12 am #755978

Kat

Yes, it’s normal. It’s a holiday week and you’ve only had one date.

July 5, 2019 at 11:19 am #755979

Liz Lemon

I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like you’ve been dating awhile or are in a relationship, in which case it would be expected for him to text. You’ve had one date. Just trust he’ll get in touch next week when he’s back from vacation. I would not interpret this as a lack of interest at this point. He’s on vacation with his daughter & family and is undoubtedly focused on that. And from what you said, he is not a big texter.

I would add, just because he’s not texting you does not mean you are not on his mind. Just sit tight and let him get in touch next week. Definitely do not contact him while he’s on vacation.

July 6, 2019 at 11:07 pm #756160

A

He’s not interested. Move on.

September 7, 2019 at 9:49 pm #769249

Aaa

Hi guys.

I’m a girl and in exactly the same situation. Was on a great date with a guy 5 weeks ago and I left for vaca afterwards. I’m still away.

I must agree partially with OMG, though your thoughts could be expressed in a more gentle way. But yes, women have a compulsion of reading too much into a first date. Including myself. I’ve lived with a guy now for 2 years who is 42 and has had sex with a crazy amount of women. So he’s been teaching me a lot about the male psyche.

Delete this guys contact so you don’t end up texting him out of desperation. Which most women do, we are delusional! I don’t know why, but we tend to be.

My guy has been texting me on and off the last 5 weeks and I’ve been texting him a bit. But really not much and I’m trying my best to keep a RATIONAL mind and have no expectations.

OMG, please be a bit more sensitive and women out there including me, let’s try to be a bit less delusional.

:) peace, love and empathy.

September 7, 2019 at 11:03 pm #769267

ANM Staff
Keymaster

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

This thread is a bit old and it was polluted by “omg”, who is not welcome here. I’ll lock this one up but feel free to start a new thread if you’d like to continue the discussion.
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