Gray area between low interest and REALLY busy/stressed?

When my ex broke up with me he delayed our talk for days. Just be prepared

I hope she is okay this one was so hard :-(

Oh Phoebe thanks :-) I hope it will be okay too, but Im not stressing out about it, it either will be or it wont. I love and care about him but if we aren’t coming from the same place then it isn’t going to work. I use my motto of a relationship is suppose to enhance your life not hinder it. and if we aren’t traveling the same road any longer then it will be a hindrance to me, so he will either let me walk away or he will step up and do what needs to be done.

Mine is more I just want to clarify something is all. We really have an excellent relationship and never fight lol. The last two months has been really hard on us with conflicting schedules we have barley seen each other. So I don’t know if that stress had just gotten to him and he made some unwise comments or if he was just talking in general, not specific to us. So it is more of a clarification thing. I really do believe I know the answer but i’d rather ask than assume. And he knows it is coming, after the comments I just calmly let him know that we would talk later and gave him a kiss, he said Okay hun. And his behavior hasn’t changed in any way, so I guess that is why I am not really concerned. But I am also confidant in myself, he isn’t the only man who finds me attractive lol

Reading this has been great. A few things Harley said struck a nerve…in a good way. After reading it’s clear u have an amazing heart & don’t throw things away too quickly. There r too many ‘rules’ & ‘guidelines’ these days that ppl don’t understand enuf to follow properly. Following ur heart is always the best road. Tho I mean this in a confident, smart way.

Dating has changed so much it’s crazy. My grandparents would be horrified at the seeming lack of effort today. I know my parents are….ha. I guess there were benefits to growing up in a small place-I value certain ‘old fashioned’ things no matter how much I travel/move. What I find difficult is reconciling to myself the contrary opinions I have. It’s hard to be myself, live my own life & be independant…and also be commited to a suitable relationship & not run at signs of trouble. Knowing that line in the sand takes time & pain….& still ends up a guessing game since every person is unique & has their own baggage. ;)

OOH.. I know the feeling. I WANT old fashioned dating but then I go and ruin it by being too independent and sleeping with him on the first date because I believe life’s too short to waste time.. or I am only in his area for the weekend or something.

Half the time I don’t even realise a guy fancies me.

Mind you.. I’m learning every day from this site.

I’d just move on Amber. he’s more focused on himself. next time he calls.. MAKE yourself available.. just get it over and done with.. whatever that may be. TAKE CONTROL and tell him you’d like to know what he wants and stop wondering.

Amber why are you waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are giving him more power by letting him break up on HIS terms. Take back whatever control you have over the situation and DUMP him!

You are not happy with how is treating you lately; he’s being avoidant and keeping you in suspense. He knows what he’s doing. For your own good, dump him ASAP so you can begin to move on.

Agree with Sherri about the dumping over text part…its becoming too much drama just to arrange a face to face meeting with him. Please dump him.

I understand how the text message break up can seem undesirable… but at what point are you going to put YOU first and do what’s best for you?

It could be another week or two that your relationship remains in limbo and you’re trying to schedule face to face time. You can even call him on the phone, skype, whatever. But I don’t think the delay of meeting in person to break up is worth your sanity. This is unfair to you and it’s hurting you. You can’t begin to move on when you’re still stuck in this phase with him.

All I can say is hugs to you, honey.

I agree with the ladies. At this point, you need to do what’s best for YOU, and stop worrying about catering to what’s going on with him. You’ve spent all this time wondering how your actions will affect him, and I seriously doubt that he’s given you the same consideration during this. Not saying it’s b/c he’s a jerk, but rather, b/c he’s a guy. They just don’t think outside of their own heads when they get embroiled in something.

I know it’s not easy…..but do what you need to do for YOU. Whatever that may be.

Oh damn! That’s right, Mel. I think I forgot that he’s the grieving guy…..

I guess that changes what I said a bit.