Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Guy says he doesn't want a relationship right now, now what?
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February 12, 2018 at 9:21 pm #683355Valencia
A guy I was seeing just got out of a long term relationship and told me the same thing. I believed him and thought he’d spend the time single, working on himself and we’d still be friends. 2 weeks later some chick tags him on fb with a couple selfie saying how in love they are. He knows full well I’ll see that. (there were more pics the next day) I know it’s not about me, but how can a guy who claimed to at least care about me a little bit, do something that even indirectly, would cause me pain? (he knew I had strong feelings for him) Outwardly, I am not reacting whatsoever. Inwardly, I’m struggling with how someone could do that to another.
February 12, 2018 at 10:01 pm #683359anonymous
how can someone do that..
he told me it has absolutely nothing to do with other girls and we haven’t spoken in 3 days, but we need to keep in contact in some way as we have a dog and agreed to share him whenever we wanted him. i feel as though i need to talk to him but i know how much he wants his space, it’s hard to come to terms with what’s going on and i can’t seem to deal with it.
February 13, 2018 at 12:58 am #683368Algo
Wait, a guy who just got out of a serious relationship already got a dog with someone else?
How long was this relationship and how long was yours? Were you exclusive? Committed? What is going on?
February 13, 2018 at 2:26 am #683385anonymous
no, i was my ex’s first relationship, and we got a dog together, we were with each other all the time besides work, i pretty much lived at his, we had no time for ourselves or anything. he said he can’t be in a relationship right now because he can’t focus on himself when his got me to worry about and i said it didn’t have to be like that.. we have known each other for years and dated about 4 years ago for literally 2 days and we were just so young.. we got back together and it was so good, we were both so happy and then a couple of weeks ago he said something about taking space and last week we decided for me to move back to my parents, and i stayed there one night and went back to his to get mum and dads dvds and he broke up with me that night.. he says he doesn’t want to do it and it was never his intention for it to be like this, he just feels like this is the right thing to do and he loves me so much that’s why his doing this.. we were both committed to each other.. we broke up last wednesday, and i saw him sunday morning to drop the dog back off to his ( bear lives at his ). he said he doesn’t want contact because it’s to hard and only wants contact unless it’s about bear. sunday was the last i have spoken to him.. my heart is literally shattered because i know he is the one, i can just feel it and all i want to do is message him but i know he wants space but it’s just so hard..
February 13, 2018 at 2:32 am #683386anonymous
i want to tell him that even though he isn’t ready for a relationship i will stick by him and wait.. he also said for me not to wait for him and if the opportunity comes then take it although he doesn’t want to see it happen and it will hurt him… i told him i don’t want that but i think he is saying it to help me move on or something..
February 13, 2018 at 2:33 am #683387anonymous
we were together for 6 months
February 13, 2018 at 3:57 am #683401Hannah
You got a dog at the age of 20 with someone you were only seeing for 6 months and weren’t in a committed relationship with?!
That is so irresponsible. The dog will most likely live until you’re 35. It’s either going to spend a lot of time stuck in a house alone while the one who keeps it goes out to work, parties etc or, most likely it will end up in an animal shelter. Poor thing!
At least you didn’t have kids I guess.
A good lesson…take relationships slower. You have plenty of time as you’re only young. What’s the rush to play happy families? It just kills the excitement and romance. For a 20 year old guy, it makes him feel old too young and he will get bored.
February 13, 2018 at 4:40 am #683407anonymous
that’s not very nice.
it was a birthday present to him, and that dog is loved a lot by his and my family, he will not end up in a shelter at all.
there is no rush, it wasn’t just my choice it was his as well until we both took a step back and realised it was going to fast, he freaked out and broke up with me.July 14, 2020 at 9:15 pm #796436Ana S
I know this in an old post but I’m currently in the same situation as well. I meet a guy at work 3 weeks ago & we hit it off right away. We started dating, but we both agreed to take things slow & get to each other well. Now he has received the news that many events he was scheduled to be a part of before COVID hit have been re-scheduled & he will still be a part of them. However, he said this means he does not have the time to be a relationship right now, since he said he won’t be able to give me the attention he thinks I deserve. He also works 2 jobs, & so would truly have very little time to communicate with me. My coworkers have known him for a long time & they all believe he is a very truthful guy. He has not asked me to wait for him, since he said that would be unfair. However, he has said that he would like to get to know me better as a friend & once he isn’t so busy, we can revisit the topic of a relationship if both of us are still single at that time. He says it might be a few months. He appears to be very genuine & sincere. Advice?
July 15, 2020 at 2:24 am #796467ANM StaffKeymasterHi Ana, you’ll have better luck getting community responses by starting a fresh new post. Best wishes!
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