has condoms in his wallet??

You are a walking talkiog co-dependent!!! I highly suggest you read “Codependent No More…” by Melody Beatty and other articles regarding codependency as its an enabling behavior that allows for this to happen. I describe codependency as “trying to create order out of a disorder” whereas you BOTH lack boundaries, BOTH play dysfunctional roles, BOTH allow for the toxicity in your relationship and guess who’s LEARNING from all this? Your child!

Your child is at a very high risk of falling into the same type of relationship because its become their ‘normal’ as they don’t know what a good relationship looks or feels like and are drawn to those with similar behaviors. Do you want this for your child? If not, then work on FIXING YOU FIRST because if you don’t you will remain stuck and keep the dysfunctional cycle you created too going as because you’re equally to blame and need to take full responsibility for your part and role in all this. Al anon is good source to get information and talk to others who can provide you some insight in how to break the addiction you have with your SO but be careful as I found too many became dependent on them and remained stuck v. disengaging and doing the hard work to end their addiction to the addict (the co-dependent’s drug).

I am a former co-dependent and I’m so glad I did the hard work to get out of my toxic marriage and FIX ME. After a lot of hard work and self improvement I’ve found a wonder man and in a great loving stable relationship now; whereas both of my son’s adore him and happy we found each other :o) I still have to remain super vigilant in setting strong boundaries and never falling back into that dark black miserable hole again—knowledge is power!

You point blank ask him…