Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Has he lost interest – what do I do
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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Natalie
So I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months. We’ve both came out of long term relationships him about 7 months ago me 3 months they weren’t healthy relationships. However we got on really well hadn’t felt like this in a while. He said all the right things how much he’d liked me for a while was so glad we were talking etc. We’d met up a few times and he’d even been to my house. Everything was great then out of no where he cancelled on plans and when I suggested making more he had some excuse despite being off work and being in the house all day. I told him i wouldn’t be taking it as if he’s not going to make effort to meet there’s no point. He said it wasn’t that he didn’t want to just busy. I also told him that he’s slacking and if he’s not gonna bother I won’t be sitting here waiting on him, and he said he’s just bad at communication problems and also he didn’t know how to handle me sometimes. We used to talk 24/7 every day however following this I ignored his message the next day and haven’t heard from him since whereas normally he would of messaged me again. This was three days ago I’m quite hurt as he was even talking about making me his girlfriend and we weren’t messaging other people just each other now out of nowhere he’s went silent. What do I do thanks
T from NY
I wish I had better news for you. You have reached the dreaded 3-4 month mark in male-female relationships where a guy decides if he wants to go forward. I know it seems shady, but sadly it’s not a man being dishonest with you, it’s just how men process and fall for women, or choose to move on. They spend the first 2-4 months chasing, wooing, getting to know the woman and then as time passes, situations come up, there comes a day he steps back and asks himself 2 questions… Do I really want to be in a relationship? And do I really want to be a relationship with HER? If he’s honest with himself and the answer to the first question is no, it does not matter you could be the queen of sheeba and he’s gonna move on. He also could have realized he THOUGHT he was ready, but jumped into to something too soon.
It happens continually and is very sad and frustrating because women process quite differently and rarely spend that much time with a guy unless they are properly feeling future potential. The absolute best thing for you to do now is NOTHING at all. He knows you’re interested. He knows you want to date. Let him miss you. Let him see if he misses you. If he’s ready or interested he will come back. If he contacts you be positive and fun, not upset or calling him out. If he doesn’t it does not sound like he played you, it sounds like he’s just not looking for that right now or doesn’t feel you are compatible.
Tallspicy
Do you really think that b$tching him out like that was going to be effective in bringing him closer to you? Is it possible you were nagging him the whole time?
When you need something of a man, you own your needs and make a request, and you ask questions. It is ineffective to punish someone with a scolding. And you ignored him when he texted you the next day?
I am not sure he is the one with the communication issues. This man was not your boyfriend, so scolding a man who is not even in a relationship with you will distance him. When a man pulls away, you pull away even harder. You observe his actions, not try to extract what you want. And if he canceled, you are to not initiate anything else again until he makes the next plans.
Next time, try asking some questions. I notice things are slowing down, is there something I should know? I would love to see you, when might work for you?
Zoe
When a guy cancels on you YOU DONT ASK HIM FOR ANOTHER DATE
You take 2 steps back.
You sound way too needy. Men dont like to deal with neediness and back outRaven
“he didn’t know how to handle me sometimes.”
What does this mean?Tallspicy
I am guessing that there was already a lot of drama and “if you like me, you will do xyz”.
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