Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Haven't heard from him
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by Maria.
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Crying
I haven’t heard from my boyfriend since Tuesday and it is now Sunday. He usually emails me once or twice a week. We talked in the phone for almost an hour in Tuesday and I haven’t heard from him since. I feel he has lost interest. Should I ask him? We have been seeing each other almost 6 months. I have not tried to contact him for fear he will think I am needy.
I don’t know what to do. This makes me very sad.
SharonIf he’s your boyfriend and you’ve been together for almost 6 months I would expect a little bit more contact than 1 or 2 emails a week if I’m honest. Do you guys text during the week at all?
Now, with regard to not hearing from him since Tuesday – that’s quite a while, I wouldn’t appreciate that from my boyfriend. But why don’t you just send him a nice text? Something like: “hey, how’s it going? How’s your weekend been?” And then make plans to meet up. He’s your boyfriend, he shouldn’t think that you’re needy just for sending a text! A girl should be able to initiate contact, especially when the guy’s your boyfriend. I wouldn’t immediately assume he’s lost interest. Just see what happens after you message him.
If he doesn’t like it that you message him though, there’s a whole different problem.ShannonI agree with the other poster. If it was very early on in your relationship, I would advise not reaching out, but six months in with an established relationship, you should be able to do that without worrying it will turn him off. And yes, that is very little communication but different people have different communication patterns and it seems that it has always been this way. My last boyfriend and I had LDR and I sometimes didn’t hear from him for days, and many times it did make me anxious. But I knew he wasn’t cheating on me because no one else could possibly want him haha.
kayeIs this a LDR? Do you normally have plans together on the weekends? After 6 months sending a text after not hearing from him for 5 days or more isn’t needy. I would definitely check in with him and see what’s going on.
CryingHi all. Yes, I guess you could say it is a LDR. He lives a little over an hour away. I work on the weekends, so we get together during the week 2-3 times a month. The rest of the time, we rely on other forms of communication.
LaneJust CALL him. As long as your not CONSTANTLY contacting him to find out what he’s “up to” then initiating contact with each other is perfectly normal when your in a relationship. Just call him up and TALK because oftentimes guys can become very myopic (singularly focused)—where do you think the adage “where did the time go?” A MAN! :-P
redcurleysueSince you have an established relationship I agree that contacting him once a week is ok – but he should be contacting you more than once a week.
If he continues to keep you too far away by no contact in a week I would have a talk with him about the lack on his side of interest he is giving to the relationship and then go from there.
RavenCall him, already…
SunisrisingThat’s very disturbing for an established relationship. Btw, 1 hr and half away is not a LDR. I keep seeing this in this forum. My boyfriend is an hour and half away and he does not consider that long distance neither do I. When there’s a will, there’s a way. I find it add that a man could be that busy to even just text, “hi, how are you. I’m well hope you are too”. That took seconds to type. Or send an emoji if it’s way to much work to type in letters. I’m not saying his communication style is bad or good. It’s just doesn’t suit me and therefore, I am not surprise it doesn’t suit you as well. I don’t think it’s a deal breaker but after six months you should feel confident and comfortable to talk about what concerns you. Otherwise, this is what you get and have. If you think that’s okay then accept it but if not, have a discussion. It’s not about being needy. It’s about being considerate of other people’s feeling especially the feelings of those in a relationship.
Sunisrising*odd
MariaThis frequency of communication will not suit any woman, no wonder you are upset. Do you ever contact him? If not, then maybe he is not pleased with you never expressing any interest in him?
I’d text or call and leave a vm and would not hide the fact that you are wondering where he is, it’s been several days. There is no shame in that, it’s been 6 months, a long time already.
But if he does not have a good reason and does not apologize, then do not contact him again, pull away and prepare to move on. This is not acceptable in a stable relationship, and 1.5 hours is not that LDR either. A few texts per day do not take up much time, we all know that, so busy excuses are just that, excuses.
Usually, however, silence mean several things: he is upset with you for something and does not want to confront you, he is losing interest, he met someone else and wants to “signal” to you instead of having to talk to you like a responsible adult.
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