Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Haven't heard from him in a week after our third date…should I let it go?
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redcurleysue.
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Marissa
Hey everyone!
So I am in a situation that seems to be similar to what many girls have experienced. I met this guy about a month ago on a dating app (I am 23, he just turned 28). In the beginning he was texting me consistently and asked me on our first date about 5 days later. It was great! He even planned the second date before our first date was over and the second date was even better and again said he wanted to see me the following week before our second date was over. I saw him for the third time and we hung out at his apartment and I met some of his friends (one of them, his best friend, said that he had heard wonderful things about me). Every time we are together it goes really well and he seems to enjoy my company and casually mentions things that we can do in the future. He texted me the day after our third date and we texted for a bit that night and into the next day and then I called him while I was driving home from work because I like talking on the phone and thought it was an appropriate time to call. I kept the phone call short (15 minutes) and ended it first, just saying that I was glad to hear about his day and he seemed pretty happy to be talking on the phone with me. However, I haven’t heard from him after that and it is now 4 days later. I don’t think that I sounded desperate or clingy at all in calling him, I was totally just being myself and thought of him and called. He has a snowboarding trip with his friends this weekend and so I was thinking if I didn’t hear from him before then I would give him space and let him enjoy his weekend with his friends and then text him after to see how his trip was and let him know I’d like to see him again. I really like him and want this to work but at the same time I don’t want to put in effort if he isn’t going to reciprocate. What do you all think, should I reach out?Nat
You called him yourself, so it is not like you are not initiating at all. If you don’t hear from him for a week and then tell him yo want to see him, you are telling him that this is what he needs to do to get you to want to see him.
Wish him a great trip and ask him to let you know how it went but do not ask him out and do not tell him oyu want to see him. If he continues to text you and call you then you can even ask him out on a date. Three to one is a good score. lol
Jamie
I would send him a text and say hello.
I just met a wonderful guy and we didn’t talk for a whole week in the beginning until I texted him. He told me he thought that a girl like me would never be interested in him and that I was just being friendly when I replied to his texts/calls. So you can never know what is going on in a man’s mind, they can be insecure too.
My new guy told me that if a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, sending one text will not make him dislike you or look at you negatively.
If it does, he never liked you that much and it was never going anywhere anyway.
You have nothing to lose. Good luck.
Lane
You need to slow your roll.
You are taking over the lead and that’s not the best position to be in this early.
Dating is like slow dancing. Would you take the guy, spin him around and then do the dip? Of course not, so you really need to let a guy lead the dating dance and stop trying to take over.
He knows how to reach you, knows how to ask you out, and he will plan another date if he wishes to proceed. I never reach out, blow a smoke signal, text or do anything to interrupt a guys process. A man who is truly interested will continue to do the planning, calling, texting and progressing….your job is to just have fun, appreciate each date, give out a little info. and if you plans another great, if not, next!
kaye
Anytime you meet a guy on a dating app you have to assume that he is also talking to and dating other women. For all you know you haven’t heard from him because he’s been busy texting and going out with some new prospect. I wouldn’t be surprised if this snowboarding trip with “friends” this weekend includes a woman.
Since you were the last to initiate with the phone call and you haven’t heard from in in 4 days I would do absolutely NOTHING!! Don’t reach out to him. Do you really think he forgot how to initiate and ask you out in 4 days?!?!? NO! If he is interested and wants to see you and talk to you he will call/text. Don’t let this guy think he already has you after 3 dates!! What kind of challenge is that? Let him wonder what you’re doing and why he hasn’t heard from you and if you’re dating some hot new guy you met online.
Tallspicy
Under no circumstances contact him again. You already initiated a call, so he knows you are interested. His ball, his court at this point.
Kim
This situation resonates so well with me. Also been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. Been out 3 times. We live in different states so he came to visit the other week. In the first week he was texting me a lot but he never does anymore. Also haven’t really spoken to this guy properly in a week. Was his birthday on Tuesday so I called him to say happy birthday. He messaged me saying thank you and he’ll talk to me the next day and he never did. He left for a holiday with his family yesterday so called him on Thursday to wish him a good trip. Went to message bank and he sent a very short text saying “Hey. Just got out of the shower. Am really exhausted. Going to head to bed”.
He already used the girlfriend word to me so I don’t know maybe he is genuinely busy and would rather talk to me when he has time and isn’t tired. He does have some health issues so maybe he really wasn’t feeling well. I think it’s best we just wait to see how things play out. Don’t contact him anymore. That’s what I’m going to do as well. Will see what happens when he gets back from holiday. We’ve done our part. It’s up to them now to make the next move. If they do contact us again great. If not it’s their loss.
redcurleysue
A UFO could have picked him up or he is seeing another woman or he is busy.
It does not matter. Wash your brain of him until he contacts you. He is nothing to you at this point.
Do not pull ahead of a man or you will regret it.
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