Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Haven't heard from him in three weeks…Is it over?
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tammy.
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Carmen
We never had any legitimate relationship problems at all and now I’m confused.
Everything was all perfect at first, and then he warned me that he was going to have three jobs this summer and spend a month in Japan to see his family. I didn’t see him for most of the summer, but we kept in touch and everything was going great. One night (over a month ago), he texted me saying things about the relationship not working or something and he didn’t sound like himself at all…I tried to find out what the hell was going on but he wasn’t making any sense whatsoever. About a week later, he showed up at my house and told me that he had been drinking every single day that he was in Japan and that he drunk texted me all those things, and he didn’t realize that we even had that conversation until he was completely sobered up the next day. He came home from his trip a week early just so he could fix everything between us. Things were going great after that day and we were closer than ever. I texted him about three weeks ago to see how he was doing, and it just went along the lines of:
Me: Hello darling
Him: How’ve you been love?
Me: Alright, I miss you so much
Him: I miss you too love
Several hours later
Me: ….sorry about that. I fell asleep. Wish you were there with me
Him: Me too
I just decided to leave him alone after that because I felt like I was being annoying, and I didn’t hear from him for almost two weeks after that, so I texted him again and now it’s been four days and still no response. I’m getting really concerned because I don’t want to lose him for real this time. No I am not a clingy girlfriend, it’s just that he always calls or texts me once a week at the very least, and he hasn’t done that at all in the past two weeks and this is just strange…who knows, maybe his phone was just defective or something for the past couple of days, but I don’t know for sure…I know this seems like a stupid question but I just have no idea what’s going on.Lane
Hi Carmen.
Why do you even want to be with a guy like this? He’s putting in zero effort or energy yet you still like him? I would deleted his number three weeks ago and started dating again. If a man isn’t stepping up, then you need to step up. He appears to be a mess, especially with the drinking and trust me, you DO NOT ever want to be with an alcoholic! My now ex husband turned into one and I will never ever ever ever do it again—they will suck you dry.
Jessie
Carmen, when a guy says he isn’t into the relationship or it’s not working out, believe him! Also, I agree with Lane, he is putting ZERO effort into talking to you. If he really liked you he would be texting you on a daily basis or atleast every other day (from experience, every guy that has ever liked me would make sure I knew).
Drop him and move on. You can’t force someone to like you and the more you chase the more turned off he will be.
peach
So I haven’t spoken to him in 12days and we haven’t really been speaking as much the other days, asked him why he was being distant and said that he didn’t get why I was also quite which was very confusing since I’m the one whose always tried to reach, so should I let it go or wait out?
Etta
I learned from experience that its best not to assume. I did that once, really I went off on him. BIG mistake! I found out that he was sick. Really sick. Of course some may say that he coulda told me so, and I agreed. But you ever felt so lousy that you didn’t or couldn’t talk with anyone? Yeah.
I’m not saying that your guy is playing. Just don’t assume.Ali
While every couple has their own communication patterns, you are not in a relationship with this man. Going this long without communicating with you means he doesn’t want to be with you anymore and is waiting for you to do the dirty work. I can think of no other explanation for so little effort being made.
This isn’t normal
Amber
Don’t waste anymore time on this guy. He sounds more up and down than a rollercoaster and definitely not invested in a relationship with you. The fact that he mentioned once that the ‘relationship’ is not working out (regardless of being drunk) should have been a clear sign that you should move on to happier pastures. Guys who are serious about having a relationship with someone don’t behave like this. One thing I would say though, please don’t think that you have done something wrong. Forget about him, you deserve better.
zara
he’s ghosting you unfortunately. I’m in a similar situation. But the fact is for whatever reason he’s just not that in to you. Don’t take it personally he’s a coward for choosing this route. But what I am telling myself and tell you is know your self worth. He doesn’t value you and that’s why he’s treating you this way. You deserve someone who does value you. The best advice would be to remind yourself you’re amazing and work on loving yourself and then it’ll be hard for a person not to love you too.
Emma
OMG
Adelle
So i haven’t heard from my boyfriend in 3 weeks ,since he came back from US he came to visit me and his family over here but he’s never asked me how am doing and even whether am fine ,i tried calling him and texting but he just ignores me and his close friends who try to advise him because it seems he has changed a lot lately and he says it’s because he’s busy and later he will find time for me,am really confused and he has done soo much for me and even financially but I don’t know what has possibly resulted into him behaving this way let alone not talking to or asking if me in the least sense
tammy
you cant do much if the man is not interested or too busy to see you or even talk to you now can you? you have tried to reach him but he seems to be unavailable. i would take this as over and move on. if hes going through some issues presently, he may reach out later. but then again unless hes had some emergency situation, his cutting off from you without saying anything is not justified.
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