He asked for space 2.5 weeks ago. Do I contact him?

During these four weeks together, did he share with you on what he’s currently dealing/struggling with? Did he mentioned any work issues? What does he mean his plate is full.

On the other hand, it’s better to just chill and wait for him to contact you. Let him chase you again.

Four weeks?

Does it sound like a movie? Why so much drama and you actually helped to facilitate?

You should think why is so dramatic? Is drama what you want?

He has little clue of what he had done and burned himself pretty quick.

He does not seem like a good leader in romance department.

You enter this chaotic and frantic space, with his drastic need. Just be careful.

I will leave him alone …

IMHO, the best approach:

– is to forget all the things he said and did that I know were madly confusing to normal, mature people. Accept it for what it was, relished and enjoy the memories as they made you feel great and you had a good time but it’s now in the past. Focus on what is NOW.

– you asked him what was going on and he told you. Accept it and honor his wishes for space whatever that means to him, only he knows. You’re just DATING. He owes you no comprehensive explanation. Don’t waste your time analyzing and figuring out what could have possibly happened!!! Only he knows. Don’t take it personally.
In my book, him back pedaling is a good thing. For only 4 weeks, meeting friends and family are a bit too fast. I don’t even want to meet family unless I’m already the girlfriend. It’s way too much too soon but that’s just me. Pacing is the best approach I find when dating. Pace yourself and until you’re BF/GF, your ONLY dating and your options should be wide open.

– go back to living your life before you met him. Keep your options open and I hope you never closed them when you were dating this guy for those 4 weeks as you are not BF/GF until you are asked and if it’s what you want too, go for it.

– lay off the social media curiosity. It’s never good. It’ll only add to your mounting anxieties. Liking you pics or comments does not equal to he wants to date you again. When a man wants to see you, he will contact you with a firm invitation.

– at this point, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER contact him. He was the one who asked for space. He will contact you when his ready regardless of how much he likes your pics and activity in social media – do not take that as an indication of his interest because until a man reaches out to see you, it means NOTHING!!!

When he does reaches out, and if you’re still available to date him, you have to approach the situation like it’s the very first time you are going on a date with this guy meaning, you don’t hold him on his past actions and words however sweet and lovely they were. That was then and this is now. Be very clear to tell him what you are looking for this time. PACE, PACE, PACE yourself. Get to know him first before meeting his extended family. He has to earn your time all over again and it should be in your own good time to accept invitations that include his friends and family. DO NOT ever, ever take his sweet words and actions to mean what you think they should mean. Just enjoy them, take them for what they are at that time then restart. Enjoy, restart, enjoy, restart. Even when you are in a BF/GF relationship, you should only take what they say and do for that point in time. People constantly change and no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Your standards and boundaries are the ones that have to stay in tact and always in play whoever you’re with whether or not in a relationship or just dating. Men are like buses. Another one comes every 15 minutes.

No, don’t contact him. I don’t mean to sound mean but I would think if a guy suddenly takes space and then disappears, usually this means there’s another woman in the picture and he just doesn’t have the balls to say it.

Gabby,

Don’t just try your best, just DO it!!!

As Eric Charles said in (Part 9) Why I like being single…”If you are ONLY interested in having an exclusive, long term, committed relationship with a guy, then…You have to be willing to say NO to the guys who don’t want to get into an exclusive relationship with you!

Simply put. If a guy asks for space, give it to him AND don’t wait around. There are many men out there who wants the same thing you want but you cannot meet them if you are pining over or waiting around for someone who is not on the same page as you are.

In looking back in my past dating/relationships that didn’t work out, I have zero regrets. They didn’t materialized or worked out because it was meant to be to begin with. Trust and preserve your standards and boundaries as they represent your sense of self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem, and most of all self love.

You should look at this way. Anyone (men and women) who walks away for something they do not want or desire the same situation, are those who believe they deserve to be in a situation that THEY want, meets THEIR standards and respect THEIR boundaries, and fulfills THEM. That should always be your goal as well.

He’s ignored you for half the same amount of time that you were together and things were good. Definitely don’t contact him. Think of it as a really fun fling and a great experience. Then move on.

Don’t contact him. Since you (in your own words) chased him, you’re unlikely to hear from him again as he is probably turned off. Forget him and move forward. Next time, don’t act desperate.

I’m in the same boat–one that’s sinking because I put too much water into it! I met someone, during my “divorce”–big NO NO BTW. Fell in love, or so I thought. Reaching for a liferaft, an escape, etc. We had wonderful, exhiliarating, great moments together in the first couple of months, great sex, nonetheless made things even harder on me coming out of a difficult marriage/divorce. Knew in my heart and veins I would get hurt and I did, big time. He finally told me it was “over” but I persisted for awhile, sending texts, writing him letters, etc. then had to stop I was being “too intrusive” in his words, which I was–desperate, clinging to the only man I felt cared about me and loved me at the time. He was good to me, told me all the things I wanted to “hear” and let me come over anytime, even offered to let me drive his car in the beginning when I had none, etc. He was my “dream man”, honest, caring, we shared stories, went on dates, etc. All during my tumultuous divorce proceedings. What did I expect! He even took me back after the first time. We dated again for about a month “after” my divorce was final and then came the shocking dreadful “I need space” line. Now what? I asked myself? He stated it was “all about him” and ensured me it wasn’t me or anything I did. He did mention work issues and “family” stuff but I didn’t dig. He sent me a bland “Valentines Day” card basically saying he had to “sort out some things” and we had “bad timing” and “time will tell”. Then texted me back (only after I texted him) that even though he wants me to do what I need to in my life and not to let this stop me from enjoying things, he also said in that same text message it would be hard for him to imagine someone else in my life (sexually speaking). So whats a woman to think at this point! Mixed messages were coming from him yet I want to respect his need for space since I sooo much care about him and want him back but want to avoid taking the desperate measures I took the first time. After all, I reminded myself, we started off on a “whirlwind” romance, I’m newly divorced and need some time and space myself to be in a healthy relationship with him (or anyone for that matter). So for now, as difficult as it may be, I’m trying to keep focused on myself and my needs and go on dates, etc. None of them ever compare to him in my opinion and mind. If only he knew he was the ONLY ONE I think about when I’m with other people and the ONLY ONE I want to be with!!! He probably already knows this and, unfortunatley, that gives him the POWER in the realtionship and the ability to control the deck of cards–ohhh how many times I wish the shoe was on the other foot–that the tables were turned! I’m subconsciously shutting down future opportunities with others since I’m so hung up on this dude–single for over 8 years and probably for a reason. So everything runs through my mind daily–is there someone else even though he said there’s not? Is he playing games (although my gut believes he is and has been genuine from day one and told me he only sees one woman at a time)? Do I wait in the interim to get too serious with anyone in the hopes he’ll come back? He also had the nerve to say in his last text that when he is “ready–I will ask and I will know” — meaning if I’ve been with anyone else!
This is really long and I’m definitely venting and needing advice and help myself. I never could have imagined how much I could fall for someone so easily and quickly and how hard it is to get over a “breakup/rejection/abandonment”. It SUCKS and sometimes I almost want to go back to my 20+ year sour marriage instead of this CRAP! I’m almost too scared to get serious with anyone else now. . . . I just want a straight, clear answer from him but also too afraid to hear it. . . . maybe it is REALLY OVER . .. . I just dont’ know if I could bear that . . . and he may be afraid to tell me the truth because he knows how much it really hurts me:-(
Let me know what happens — I’m very interested to know how many guys really do voluntarily come back after their “space” has been met and about how long we should, in general give them and how much we should tolerate when they do come back? What are the “ground rules” for if/when they do come back? It seems like such a scary situation, always wondering if they’ll do it again. What a crazy way to live a relationship….is it worth it? For now I’d be willing to accept it, of course. He “stole my heart” and helped me through an extemely difficult period in my life and I give him lots of credit for that. I just hope theres more to it than this. . we’ve been through so much and endured quite a few hardships together (mostly mine). I want to be there for him too!