He broke up with me last minute,I’m so broken and I don’t know what to do, HELP!

When we met he had been single for 5 months, we didn’t start anything immediately though. We talk about it alot and he told me he and his ex had already sort of checked out of the relationship a while before they called it quits mutually.
He also never seemed like I craved being single, he kept pushing this whole thing about really wanting us to be together.
I just don’t know how his feelings just changed and he suddenly needs to be a alone.

You should let him go. You’ve just known him for 7 months…

You’ll meet better people.

“I’ve given up so much, I’ve been patient, I’ve done so much just trying to accommodate him”. Next time, treat yourself this way. Take care of yourself.

Why do the details of the story sound so familiar? Have you posted about this before?

Anyway. I’m sorry you’re hurting so much.

Immediate matters – don’t you even think about bailing on this job! He is not worth losing a great opportunity over!! See a counselor, do whatever you need to do to process this and pull yourself together, pronto. I know women aren’t great at compartmentalizing but that’s what you’re going to have to do. Yes, you can do it. My recommendation is cutting him off completely, as in block him everywhere, for at least 30 days so you can focus on your new job. Do not keep begging him to reconsider.

I’m going to try to be as gentle as I can. It really doesn’t sound like this was ever going anywhere. He wasn’t that long out of it with someone else, there’s a red flag right there. He and the ex were already checked out… yeah, that’s a line. There’s a grieving process to go through after the real end of a relationship and he didn’t do it.

When someone is having a lot of issues and you’re newly dating and you observe this, the best thing you can do is step back. Unfortunately a lot of times women see a wounded guy down on his luck or whatever the case may be and turn into Florence Nightingale. And this is exactly what happens almost every time. When things get better, he dumps her. Her loyalty is not rewarded – in fact it’s the opposite. In his mind, he thinks she tolerated too much from him so he’s lost respect. And he doesn’t want to be reminded of the bad times by keeping her around. And I’m sorry to have to agree with Ewa but it’s usually for someone else he can start fresh with. That’s what it often is with break-ups that come out of the clear blue.

But… you were not actually his official girlfriend. In his mind he was honest with you all along. And I’m sorry to say this, but he’s not entirely wrong. If you choose to stick around on “perhaps, perhaps, perhaps” or “someday” and accept crumbs, you’ve signaled you’re OK with the situation. Yes, he strung you along, but it takes two people for that to happen. Please don’t take this as criticism. I’m asking you to step back and look objectively at what happened here. And you may not be able to do that right now, but you will eventually and being able to look objectively and see what missteps you made will help you learn from it and not to ever accept this treatment again.

Men recently out of something else often do this. They think they’re ready to move on, but they’re not because they haven’t done the work to recover from the last relationship. It’s the old male saying, to get over the last one, get another one under you ASAP. They like being with someone, they like having someone to do things with and it’s all sunshine and rainbows. The trouble is, it keeps them from processing their real emotions and then when it’s naturally time to take things to the next level, they suddenly balk. They “need to be single for a while.” Which is BS. They don’t usually do this knowingly and willfully, but the end result and the damage are the same.

Also… if you are this devastated after dating for 7 months and you weren’t in an official relationship, you need to consider why you got that attached that your whole world is now falling apart. Sounds like you lost yourself in this relationship and gave way, way too much. I’d suggest working with a therapist to understand why you did that so you don’t get into this position again. His behavior isn’t about you. Don’t take it personally.

I know this seems impossibly painful right now, but you WILL move past this and I hope you will soon see this was a set-up for failure right from the get go. Hugs.