He Calls Me After a Month of No Contact

Ohhhhh girl, I hear ya. I’ve had similar things happen. It’s tricky because we don’t want to be taken for granted – neither our interest nor our time – plus we want to be shown respect. And we deserve to.

I would give him the benefit of a doubt, but I would pay a lot of attention on the next date as to how he makes you feel. Does he make you feel respected, or just desired? Do you like the way he behaves? Notice how he makes you feel…

Definitely could be worth a second chance, but make sure to imply that you are busy too, so that he can’t just ask you on a date whenever it is just convenient for him. If he suggests a time/place, maybe mention you are busy but another time will work, that way you let him guess what you are up to.

Also, if he pulls that again, then I’d say screw him. Not literally. ;)

Good luck!

You only had one date? This is the problem.

Women have one date with a man and jump to the conclusions that he wants a relationship with her.

First off, you should not have contacted him and asked for that second date. It was likely a put off. Men don’t like to be chased. It also makes you look desperate.

Second, many men will SAY they want to see you again and never have any intention of doing it. It just alleviates and awkwardness at the end of the date…. OR he may have said it in the moment (because he felt that way) but then changed his mind after the fact.

Regardless of the reason you need to slow down and have zero expectations.

Life happens and he COULD have been busy. He could also have been dating other women. The fact he never contacted you a week after that first date suggests he isn’t over the top interested …. a man who is, will reach out and secure another date within a week or sooner.

At this point, its up to you if you want to see him. I agree with Harley. Don’t set yourself up for a booty call and don’t have sex…unless you are ok with casual. This man may be keeping you in rotation with other women he is dating (which is fine.. he is single) and you should be dating others, as well, so that you don’t get so focused on one man this quickly.

Harleys advice is SPOT on. I had this happen to me with a first date… yeah needless to say I asked point blank.. why do you wanna see me again after a month? I wasn’t going to ego boost him… needless to say he had no answer and I never went with him.. :)

I don’t think you’d lose anything by going out with the guy. However, I wouldn’t question him on a 2nd date on why he wants to see you. I mean, it’s just a 2nd date, don’t drill the guy, you barely know each other. If you do ask that he’ll know you were upset by him not calling and also know you are more invested. You barely know the guy let alone know him well enough to know if you even care that a 2nd date is gonna happen or not.

At this point use it as an opportunity to get to know him better and think that you are deciding on him. Naturally, if he does this again then you can decide to drop him as he isn’t brining his A game.

Wait, so I’m getting mixed answers here. Should I ask him why he wants to see me again after a month or not? Yeah, Ivy, I probably should’ve been kinder but I was a bit hurt at that time and wasn’t thinking straight…it’s horrible how emotions influence everything or find ways to seep into what you do.

Don’t worry, I’ve already let the past go! But I just wanted to point out that because I thought he wasn’t interested in me, it would be best to avoid him? Then again, I didn’t see that he passed by me until the very last second or when we accidentally locked eyes, I didn’t realize it was him until he walked away.

I’m planning to call him today to talk about the date. I haven’t been thinking much about him for a month but now he comes back so it’s hard to just…look everything at face value. I have been getting better at not thinking too much, but I really needed the reminder. Thanks Ivy! :)

I would not call him back after his first attempt. I would wait for him to try again. He knows why, do not worry. He needs to explain his behaviour and apologize. Do not pretend it is ok and not a big deal. He ignored you. Who ignores people? Especially friends.

Sunny – this is an over 2 years old post!

Rachna – Create your own post by going to forum and selecting a topic. It’s less confusing and you’ll get answers to your situation and not to the original poster.

Blow him off.