He can be very judgemental… should I run?

Hi *Amber* – Yes, it’s bothersome…

First thought, you don’t need to defend your past. Everyone is entitled to their history. So please stop explaining yourself for having a previous life.
Maybe just not bring up past relationships…?
Lastly, it does feel a bit controlling… Does he do this in other areas? Keep an eye on it.

Yes, his behavior is very immature and concerning. But I think it’s good it’s come out only 7 months in because at least it’s early enough to get out if you want.

For me this would be a deal breaker, and I think if it bothers you ( which it sounds like it does) then you need to really consider if this is someone you want to continue being with. It will not get better; if anything, his judgmental side will become WORSE and more apparent with time.

He has insecurities obviously. First it starts with your past relationships, then he’ll get upset about guys who hit on you or look at you a second too long. I don’t think you should let this unfold into an even worse problem.

Thank you Raven. Up to this point he does not show other signs of jealousy or a controlling nature in other aspects of my life. I get the feeling he totally trusts me when I’m not around him/out with friends, etc. He never “interrogates” me or questions where I am or what I’m doing. Its always, “Well, have a good time, love you babe.” I think that’s what’s confusing me. I did date a man like that once and any man who does that to me now gets dropped like a hot cake.

I appreciate your input. I WILL NOT defend my past to him anymore and will avoid conversations about exes. So… it’s not a “run for the hills, as fast as you can” type situation, but I definitely need to keep my eye on it. Maybe he is feeling insecure right now? That is my hope and maybe he can work through it. But as you ladies say here, trust your gut, and it just feels off to me. Also, though, I don’t like the idea of having one foot in a relationship and one foot out. Either I’m in or I’m out. Grrrrrrr… just frustrating…

Amber, If I were you I would not apologize at this point. Just leave it be. Also, yes, you can be as experienced as you are in the bedroom but pretend you learned it in a dream, seriously, I am not sayng lie, but you don’t need to flaunt your sexual past.

I was with a guy who I know had many lovers by his experience but I don’t want to hear about it, a couple times he’d make a reference and it would really annoy me, one thing is knowing because you can tell, another is hearing it from their mouth. So don’t lie, but don’t advertise.

Also, just think I mean maybe you are ok if he’s talked about his lovers, but maybe you aren’t and you need to think if you want to hear if he slept with some hot chicks or tell you about his sexual experiences…some things we know but we don’t want to hear.

I think like this, I want to sleep with a guy and even if I know he’s experienced I don’t want to be in bed thinking their is a history of other women as ghosts there in bed with us, I don’t think a guy wants that either (men that is, a bunch of women, they’d love that), it just no longer feels special.

Men claim they like the liberated women of today who gets her sex on, but down deep they don’t want to hear it, they want to think she’s only done that with him, cause he’s a hot special studd unlike all the other losers she was with..lol!!!!!

Juliette,

I did not/have not brought up anything about my sexual past unless he’s directly asked me. I’m realizing now based on Mel & other’s comments that I should refrain from answering and divert the conversation even if he asks directly. My comment had nothing to do with sex, at all. HE took it there. I DO understand, however, that my comment was a blow to his ego about dreams/doing what he wants with his life. I was basically like, “I already know someone who’s been there and done that, and in fact I dated him.” Not good on my part. I get it!

I however, am not a jealous type. He’s talked about his exes, sex with exes, sexual escapades when he was younger and rowdier. I don’t care. Honestly doesn’t bother me a bit. Its the past. So I did not expect his reaction either time the situation has been reversed. It’s a double standard in our relationship.

Gemini,
You’re right. I’m obviously not okay with this. Thank you all for letting me vent and all the advice. I definitely need to think about this.

I am of two minds on this.. one, do not like the fact that he flipped on you but also see how a guy could have felt, as Ivy says.. on upped.
I was married for a long time, so many of my life experiences (not talking sexual here) happend with my ex husband. But rather than say.. I did so and so with my ex husband.. I will say.. I went here with or did this with my kids. Even though itidoing things..sexual and non sexual … with a previous love interest.
I am not saying that you lie and if asked outright, I will always be honest. Just think that sometimes less is more.
I would however keep an eye on this. How is he if guys flirt with you? If he is ok when you go out, then it sounds like he trusts you but has a problem with “the past”