He cancels date twice, should I be worried?

So…. “busy with family” to me, is a BS excuse unless he is taking care of sick parents or actively has custody of kids. I’ve found that dads with partial custody who are serious are good about booking dates when they don’t have the kids. They don’t do the “I might be able to go out tonight, we’ll see”.

I’d back all the way off and focus on your other options. You are doing too much work and I’m one who is OK with taking a little initiative. If a guy cancels it should be followed up with a date/time/place. Not something vague. And early on, guys are on their best behavior- and he blew you off on Saturday.

I don’t think this guy is playing you, and he probably means well, but he is putting in zero effort. And I would not be “worried” about losing this guy- which is why you should ALWAYS have other options until you are in a committed relationship.

Hmmm. I think — if you like him — you should leave it to him to ask you out and make plans. You took time to warm up to him, and he’s learned that is how you are, so [in my opinion] you might do better letting him continue to pursue you instead of the other way ’round. That’s probably part of why he’s drawn to you. Let him keep doing that. Evidence presented supports that. ;)

As a woman, I always thought that was complete bullsh** until I sat back and tried it to see what happened. The guys I wanted really did try to make things happen if I let them. Could it really be that simple? Me letting them take the lead? Correction: Me letting them [THINK] they were taking the lead when they really weren’t? Fascinating.

Try it with this guy, he might really like pursuing you again. :) And he may turn out to be a great guy!

I’d take a step back and see if HE follows through/pursues Wed. If he does, adjust your pace, observe his efforts, & invest accordingly *”As much as I’m missing you”…? Huh? You’re “missing me” after only seeing me TWO times…? That would be a strange and discouraging statement to me. It would make me uncomfortable bc even if I did enjoy another’s company, I would conclude their investment is a bit stronger than mine and I’d be afraid of hurting them by the fact that I’m simply not “there” yet nor can I at that time guarantee I’ll ever be there bc frankly, I just don’t know you well enough to gauge LONG-TERM interest yet. I get that he says “I miss you” also but notice how that phrase isn’t really confirmed by any type of action like it is on your end *you initiating meetups and following through. Back off till Wed. If HE doesn’t confirm the meetup and take a step in from HIS end, move on. Men are almost obsessive in the beginning about locking down time w you bc we all know how dating goes, dates are a dime a dozen these days. If you accept the breadcrumbs now, don’t be surprised when that’s all you get. You have to give off a CLEAR impression that IF he wants you around, the only way that’s going to happen is by sheer effort PERIOD. Good luck! Hope he follows through and this was a coincidental fluke. If not, these “cancelled” dates were not by accident.

Why are you asking him out and initiating and you only met once?
Why are you desperate? I dont know if you can recover from it. But if you want to you should STOP initiating anything at all and ONLY RESPOND when a man message you so early on

I know you will get some advice that you should just be straightforward and just communicate — that you can’t say the wrong thing, to the right guy. And I believe all that.

BUT men are not women. They show most of their interest in action and not words. You have to watch, and WAIT, and observe both over TIME.

You have been in full-on chase mode because a guy showed interest, took you on a couple of good dates and said a few pretty words to you.

You started on the wrong track when you asked him to hang on a Saturday night. That communicated two things to him: one you had no other plans during prime time dating time (not that most of us do, most weekends, but still…) AND that you were already invested more than he was — because obviously if you were on the same page (with each other and with your respective lives) he would have secured a date with him. THEN when he says he’d let you know about plans that night — you initiate a text again, instead of letting him come to you. And then lo and behold — when HE didn’t reach out to confirm Monday evening (after no communication from him over the weekend correct?) you initiated a text AGAIN.

Men show their interest by spending time with you. Even if this fellow liked you and truly had some family situation going on, your actions in not allowing him to live his life and give focus to what he chooses to give focus to – can be a huge turn off. The best thing any woman can do when dating is absolutely NOTHING. Yes. That’s right – nothing. Other than being receptive and make it clear you are interested when the man does reach out. Until a man makes you his girlfriend and several months goes by — it’s better to let men lead.

I would NOT reach out again. I would be surprised if another date results. And even if it does — very surprised if anything significant develops. (Unless by some miracle he decides to give it a shot. But please let him lead if so. It’s the only way to know a mans true interest) I mean all this advice as just that – advise. No judgment. Good luck

In the meantime don’t put yourself in a place that you are waiting around.

Do you have other dates lined up?

Perhaps go out with your girlfriends, you are single and should be meeting people.

This may not pan out and the last thing you want is waste time seeing what he does.

The problem was not with you, the problem is that he treated your time with a lack of respect. You asked him out Saturday, he hedged, then not only did he not accept, he didn’t let you know it wasn’t going to pan out. It takes what, 30 seconds to text someone- this is not moving mountains.

So basically he isn’t putting forth any effort to give you his time, which can maybe be forgiven when someone is busy. But also, you either aren’t on his mind, or he doesn’t care enough to “check in”.