Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He doesn't tell his female friend he is in a relationship
- This topic has 30 replies and was last updated 1 year, 8 months ago by
Raven.
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Yikes
@Leaha I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Can you explain what you mean by drawings? There is such a thing as emotional cheating and whether you feel like that’s what’s happening right now is something you need to speak to your boyfriend about and find out whether you two can fix it or go your separate ways if you’re not able to communicate and be there for each other in times of need.
If the other girl is truly just a friend then it wouldn’t hurt to reach out and get to know each other. But if he hides it and continues to prioritize her over you and your feelings, then that is a big red flag. In this day and age, distance doesn’t mean much what with social media and Skype and being able to play games online with other people.
In my experience, I tend to know when a guy friend is taken or not pretty early on because if they’re really committed and in love, their focus is on their girlfriend and they tend to gush over the person they love.
Julie Billings
I was in this exact situation. After 4 months of exclusive seeing each other and telling each other we loved each other. I knew about this girl, she was someone who he’d had sex with and was still friends. I asked him if she knew about me, because he talked about his friends at work and his family knowing. But she didn’t. I told him I wanted to meet her or I wanted him to tell her about me. He kept putting it off just telling me he would. I finally gave him 5 days and he still didn’t tell her. So I broke up with him. I get a message from her today saying she knew about me. I don’t know what game he was playing but it’s not good.
Lori mazza
I’m in the same situation where I’m with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. He did and still dies the same thing where he talks to a girl but does not tell her he has a girlfriend and that bothers me a lot. My feeling is that he wants to get with theee girls eventually so that is why he never mentions it. I have confronted h on this situation and he tells me that it never comes up, so why mention it. I’m still with him but not sure if I will break up with him because of this. I feel that if he is keeping me a secret, then what other lies is he telling me. I think you should ask him. The answer he gave you doesn’t make any sense because why is he so worried about her knowing he has a girlfriend. Is it gonna hurt her feelings or is there something going on between them and that’s the reason he’s not telling her.
Mila
Hi Kim,
I feel for you. I was in the same situation, but with the difference of my boyfriend who I was dating for 5 years chose not to tell about the fact he was actually seeing someone to two of his close ‘female’ friends who he re-established relationships/friendships with in the same period of time. One he was definitely leading to believe she has a chance with him as she liked him and helped him financially, and the other one – well, they seem to be inseparable and he would rather choose them over me. So, although we are still together, we are having (me in particular) lots of issues with trust as he’s been hiding occasions when he went to see either of them. He never told me about seeing them. One of them he was visiting at her place for dinners. When I told him it upsets me that he continues to hide me from the one who fancies him – he then told me he told her about us. But I was forced to e-mail her only to find out she had no clue and she was raging. I don’t know if they had an affair or not, but it also transpired she was his ex and a friend with benefits. … here’s no smoke without fire, and in my case trust had been shattered and we are barely together…. Good luck!
Gaia
Mila- you’ll be better off without this guy. There is nothing wrong with men having female friends or vice versa. There is a problem when lying is involved and hiding things. This guy sounds like he wants to explore all his options. Let him and move on. He broke the trust completely by lying to you and the friend.
Raven
Sorry @Mila, You are one of several side chicks…
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