Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He doesn't text for days, is he losing interest or is that normal?
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Ss.
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Bella
Okay, so I’ve been talking to this guy for 2 months now. We talked before but recently got back in touch again with each other. We always have these lovely conversations, he texting me good morning and vice versa, asking how my day was and he was genuinely engaged in the converstations. When he was at work it took longer for him to reply but that is totally normal to me. He mentioned one time in the conversation that it is very easy for him to just disappear off the radar (go offline) for a few days but promised me that would not happen.
Now since a week or so it takes longer and longer for him to reply, the first day 12 hours, 24 hours and now he hasn’t even replied for 48 hours to my texts. I asked him what was wrong and he kept telling me there is nothing wrong with his interest for me. The last thing he said was that he does want this and is interested he just does not have the time to build a relationship at the moment with work and study. After that I have not heard from him in 48 hours.
I went a litte crazy, sending him multiple texts (Which I should not have done, Iknow).
I’m just not sure wheter to be patient or to move on and if I should trust his words or not?
Newbie
Youre not paying attention to the important parts. This is just texting. He is not asking you out. So that means low interest level. He is telling you he doesnt want a relationship. So what more do you need to know? This guy is only interested in chatting a bit. Thats it. And he told you that
Bella
Addition: We talked about dating, but now with the corona situation and me being in a risk group I told him I’d rather wait, and he totally understood me and was thinking the same way
Newbie
But he also told you he doesnt want a relationship. I do understand with Corona dating is complicated but not seeing each other makes it impossible for men to connect. Women can click over texting but for guys thats really hard.
Newbie
What i learned from a few posters here is that you have to believe the negatives. So in this case, he says he is interested but doesnt have time for a relationship. So you believe the negative which is backed up with him disappearing for 2 days after that statement
Bella
Damn, why can love be so damn hard sometimes. I’m kinda getting fear of commitment at the moment, and things like this happening does not help. It has been since Saturday mid day…
Madison
Hi Bella,
I have had this happen before too with the guy that I am talking to and, what I have learned is that, this has nothing to do with you, its something going on in his life, I know its challenging right now, and for females our thoughts and emotions are much different then males.
Ignoring for days on end is NEVER okay, but sometimes, whether in quarantine or not, we just need to take a few hours or days to take a step back and remind ourselves who and what we are. I do not believe that it means that he is not interested, he just needs time, I would not let this get to you and take the time for you to keep yourself in a good place emotionally, then when he wants you at his beck and call, do the same thing to him, no matter how many times he texts or wants you. DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER!T from NY
I really only listen to male dating coaches now. I want to know from MEN about men. Men are mostly simple. If you have to ask if a guy is interested – most of the time it means they are not interested ENOUGH. Also one coach I really respect advises to ignore the positives and focus on the negatives when in the early stages of dating with a guy. Don’t be sour or pessimistic. Just be realistic about the bad behavior you’re seeing and BELIEVE IT and stop making excuses for men because they ain’t that complicated.
In your case he has been VERY clear with you – with his words and now his actions. He is it your BF. Does not want to be. And isn’t texting you back like he is. Period the end. When men show you who they are it’s up to us as women to choose if we want to put up with it. You describe wanting different things. Command your dignity and walk away. Or stop fretting and allow him to reach out to you whenever he pleases. Those are your only options.
Ss
I find it helps put things in context. You are a stranger to him therefore you are not a priority. You cannot become a priority to man who is not spending any time with you so just texting isn’t going to mean you become important. One of the guys I’ve been texting with during lockdown hasn’t text since Friday. I feel mildly irked but I’m not invested in him so i don’t give a f**k. I’ve trained myself to not give any f**ks over men you are not actually in a relationship with.
For whatever reason these guys aren’t texting us. We can choose be anxious and wonder what we’ve done “wrong” or we can choose to be realists and not give a f**k. They are demonstrating their lack of interest so mirror that.
Your over texting probably hasn’t helped your situation as nothing makes a man pull away faster than a woman that is needy and clingy.
My advice is chalk it up to him not being the one for you and just move on. Do not over invest in men that are not your bf. Do not invest at all in men you haven’t even met – its just a waste of energy
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