He doesnt want a relationship but wants to keep seeing me

Friends-not froends-lol.

Layla,

Try to see it the other way;

Would you break up with a man you are really into because you have depression and/or dealing with issues? Would you risk loosing that person? Wouldn’t you be afraid that he meet someone he loves more?

Because by breaking up with you, he is showing you that he is not afraid to loose you. That is a BIG red flag.

We all goes through difficult time in our lives, but when we truly are into someone, we make it work, no matter what.

Date other men, keep some distant from him, and see what he DOES, not what he says.

I’ve just started seeing this guy and he wants to see me too, but he doesn’t want to see me?.
This is confusing, he has just come out of a bad relationship and its hurt him very much, and he also says that he is close to someone else also. Yet he spends time when he can with me, yet doesn’t want me as his girlfriend and I’m not aloud to love him fully, or tell him I do, as he doesn’t want to hurt me, and he says he needs to sort things out and his head out.

Yet, he loves being with me.. I just don’t know what to do?.
I really like the guy, and I’m starting to love him more the more we spend time together, we get on so well and he treats me so nicely. Yet, he doesn’t want a relationship at the moment.

It’s all very confusing, can anyone help? thanks.

he loves spending time with me, and we make each other happy and giggle and are just good together.. What do I say to him? should I ask him about ‘us’ so I don’t get hurt in the future, and should I tell him that I love him? and am falling in love with him every time i Spend time with him. thanks.

So confusing, sorry everyone. :)

There is nothing confusing, he says he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If you choose to hang out that’s on you. But the fact you do hang out tells him you are ok spending time with him when you know he isn’t going to turn this into a relationship.

Not complicated at all. Men are very clear. Him hanging out with you doesn’t mean he changed his mind. It just means that he thinks you are ok with a no strings attached situation.

I met this guy four months ago and we have been really great friends,hanging out,sharing ideas and planning our future together.He calls last week and tells me he is not ready for a relationship.If he is ready he will come for me if only I’m not dating.What do I do?Can I do something to change his mind

I have been dating this guy for three months now, he would text me everyday good morning and talk throughout the day and text me goodnight every night. Went on three dates before we had sex and now we have over five times. Just two days ago out of the blue he ended things because he just wanted to be friends and realized women can’t have sex without feelings. I’m devastated because I thought he had feelings hence him contacting me first thing every morning for like 90 days. Idk if I will hear from him again by after reading this forum I realize he is just a dick. And I’m better off. Just sucks these men put us through this, like why start dating me in the first place? He says he will never want a relationship which we know is a bold faced lie. Idk I haven’t heard from him and I will not contact him but seems like I should ignore him if he does get in contact with me.

So sad that this happens to women again and again. Why don’t they tell us when we’re growing up, if a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him and move on! Wish I learned this years ago… Well, I know now. Carry on ladies. It’s tough, but we’re tougher! AND way more worth a man who doesn’t see our value. ;)

Unbelievable that this happened to so many people. I’m in the same situation- seeing a guy for several months who got out of a two year relationship. Asked him how he feels and he doesn’t know but still wants to continue with me. Says it’s not just fwb but not calling it a relationship yet because of new projects potentially coming up in another state. Are women supposed to walk away every time the timing isn’t right yet? Especially if they really love the guy? Has waiting ever worked?

The thing is- it probably most of the time isn’t timing that’s the issue. For the right women men make it work despite projects, work, etc. The truth is that he doesn’t see a future with you, but doesn’t want to hurt you and the ego/sex/attention kickbacks are an incentive to keep you around and give you hope.

If he thought you were the one before projects, trips, etc. he’d want to secure things with you because you make him stronger and feel supported.

So yes- if you are getting anything less than his best, you should leave.

I also feel like once he does whatever he wants to do this summer he will realize what he lost in me and will resurface. I can’t wait to ignore that text.

I want to share too…it just happened like two days ago the guy i was seeing for last couple of months told me that he’s ready for a relationship!!! I am glad and happy for myself because I haven’t let him touch me. I am not sure if I loved him but yes I really like him a lot. So, before things could turn any more than I could take I asked him about “Us” and he said he doesn’t feel any kind of thing for me to want him to be in a relationship with me. I actually thanked him for that upfront answer. I am hurt deeply but I know I’ll get over him in months and yes any girl out there…don’t let a guy take an advantage of you because you have feelings for him. Turn away and feel the hurt…the right guy like everyone said will not waste time to lose someone they think they can’t live without. Just hold on and cry your eyes out. When the right man comes I and we know it will be oh so worth it.

Smart girl, good for you that you asked directly. it is your ego that is hurt and it is normal. But understand that it is on the surface, the real YOU is deeper and that YOU is going to be fine. You are smart, you know how to confront a person, how to take an answer, and you know how to act based on the answer. Most women, ridiculously, would continue to see the guy after he told them he does not want anything serious with them. They’d “take him back” the moment he calls again, even without him asking for it specifically – simply because this would ‘validate” their ego for them. In the end they’d end up being hurt even more later on and waste a lot more time.

So I salute you for being smart and decisive and for having a high self esteem. So one dude doesn’t feel you are a match for him, so what? it doesn’t mean you are not pretty or anything, it means for HIM, with his personal things, you are not a match. Well if you think hard about him, is he such a great catch? I doubt it. What makes him a great catch NOW is his unavailability. We all want what we can’t have. LOL think past this immature mentality and you’d be able to shake him off not in months but in weeks.

And if he didn’t feel it for you then why was he seeing you? A decent guy won’t be doing that. I am sure you understand that, so take this thought further, and your “liking” him will not last long. LOL

Do not take him “back” when he calls again, because 99% of chance that he will call you again. Men do it often, they lure you in, tell you they are not interested, drop you for a few weeks so that you stew with hut and wounded ego, then they “come back” (mind you, this means one call or one text or maybe a few texts, nothing else usually, no commitment, no apologies, nothing serious at all), suggest to “hang out” and then turn you into a booty call or at best a civilized hookup partners. Calling you once a month to get laid or get validation from you. While you’d be waiting and hoping. This is a very typical scenario and a clearly defined “technique” I read on some forum discussions. There are also books written about “relationships” by PUAs. Disgusting stuff, real manipulation with mal intent through and through, and it is used a lot by men these days. Hope your situation is not of that type, but it is better to be prepared.