Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He flakes and apologized.. should i respond
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
ANM Staff.
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Kelli
Been going out with this guy for about a month. I asked to hang out last night. He said he wouldn’t be home until 11 he’s going to a late game night. So i said “that’s late I’ll come another day”
So he said “i can come pick you up “
And i said “I’ll drive just call me when you’re in the way home”
He never called or anything
This morning he texted me and said “sorry i didn’t come i got drunk”T from NY
Is this a casual relationship? If so, expect flakiness. It’s very hard to find a man who will participate in a “respectful” just sex relationship. I’ve done it. But I always had to weed a lot of men who couldn’t treat me the way I required – even just for casual NSA. If you wanted something more than FWB – don’t initiate hang outs or agree to a late night date in the beginning stages of a relationship. Let the man lead or you won’t know their true interest level. And it you haven’t slept with him- women have to understand that even if they don’t have sex with the guy – the mere fact she is willing to hang out late at night lowers their value in the guys eyes. In this case, you asked him out, he already plans. I would give him this ONE mulligan but let him LEAD and plan the next date. If it happened again – no way. And it he does not take the initiate – have dignity and let it go.
mell
What T said. The thing is, nothing about OP suggests it’s a NSA relationship.
For me this would be a red flag. Sure, in the longterm people fall asleep, phones die etc. But you have to look out for how a man treats you. If he makes a habit out of flaking out, then he’s never going to treat you right.
Even at the beginning, if a man likes you, he’s scared of losing you, and he’ll do what’s reasonably expected to avoid you dumping him. Just like you would, too. He will also make the effort to make plans and be free for them – don’t tolerate being slotted in at the last minute between things like you don’t matter. You deserve someone who makes time for you.
ANM StaffKeymasterHi Kelli, I see that you had posted as “Mia” earlier in the same day. Please keep a consistent pseudonym between threads so people know that you’re the same person.
Thanks!
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