Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › He forgot my birthday
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Sarah M
Hi, my boyfriend for the last 3 years fogot my birthday a few days ago.
We don’t see each other daily due to college obligations, and though he bought me something he totally forgot my birthday that day. It made me feel really sad. And the next day I made him know. At first he apologized and said he was really sorry, to after saying that I was overreacting and that is not a big deal. So we end up having an argument.
I don’t know if this is a bad sign since it is the first time that it happen. The next day (after the argument) he didn’t contact me either. I think he should feel more sorry but instead he acts like if I’m being a drama queen.
Please give me your opinions. Am I overreaction and should I just move on?
Sarah MExcuse me for all the typos. I wrote it fast and also English is not my mother tongue.
Anne OhioYes you overreacted. Birthdays are for little kids.
AndreaIt was your special day and he blew it. However, letting it turn into a full blown argument was a mistake. Arguing women repel most men. If this is the first time he’s forgotten, cut him some slack. If this isn’t the first time or if it continues, there’s a compatibility issue and you may want to rethink the relationship.
Sarah MAndrea, yes, I agree that having an argument wasn’t a good idea, I went to bed sad that day, I felt unvalued, and I woke up mad, and I texted him impulsively. Initially I was polite, but when he said I was overreacting, it pissed me off even more.
Anne, I disagree there, I think noone wants to be forgotten on the birthday, specially if the one who forgets you is your boyfriend, it can be a very hurting feeling.
LouiseTotally what Wow says – wait until you’re away for a wedding anniversary weekend and your husband says ‘when *is* our anniversary?’. It’s one of those things. Life happens, people forget dates.
NathalieI totally understand where Sarah is coming from. Birthdays and special dates are important to her. Something her boyfriend should know after 3 years. And when she voiced out her concerned her boyfriend pushed it aside like it’s nothing but infact it means a lot to HER. Some of us might not give two sh*t about these things but she does and felt sad about it. Her feelings are valid. I personally care for these things because they are opportunities to make the one you love feel extra special and remembered. It keeps things sweet and gives quality to bonds in relationships.
Anyway since it’s the first time he forgot it maybe his mind got preoccupied. He at least gave you a gift and according to him it was a “just because gift” which shows he still thinks about you to go that extra mile. Give him a pass for this one. Dont make it a bigger deal at this point as it can lead to more drama in your relationship. I’m sure he feels bad but dont make him feel sh*ttier for it you know what I mean? Happy belated by the way. :)
LaneBirthday’s are really for your PARENTS and CHILDREN…everyone else it doesn’t matter…they weren’t involved nor there so its a NON ISSUE. If you keep arguing over super stuff you’re going to lose men who HATE fighting and arguing especially over stuff like this. The ONLY one’s that matter to my are my two son’s because they are the only two BIRTH DAYS that have actual meaning to ME, you know the MOTHER who gave BIRTH. Once you have a child then you’ll have something to actually celebrate.
LaneMeant ‘stupid’ not ‘super’…its stupid to argue over it.
ValeriaOh girls,something like that happen to everyone,not only to your guys and husbands.
Dont worry about those things,just love them.LalaLane, who are you to say who birthdays are for? That is your opinion and does not apply to all. I completely understand why Sarah is upset. It’s one day a year for him to do something a little bit special. And he blew it. Not the end of the world but not cool.
NicoleI personally would let this one go. He blew it but he also apologized. However, if it happens again I wouldn’t let that one go haha.
ShoshannahReally? Everyone would be so cool with it? I wouldn’t. He apologized. So what, was she supposed to say ‘ok, if you’re sorry, it’s no big deal’. And it’s not about texting ‘happy birthday’. My boyfriend has a whole special day, expensive dinner at least, last year it was a concert, and gifts, planned for me, every year. I can’t imagine him just forgetting that it was my birthday, he seems to be planning it for weeks.
And again, I mentioned it before, I don’t like this reasoning that men don’t like arguing women. Guess what, women don’t like forgetful men. If something is bothering you, you cannot just pretend that everything is fine, that would be even more unhealthy that an argument. I’m not talking about unnenecssary drama or prolonged fights, but nothing wrong with voicing your concerns, if you’re upset, you’re upset and your feelings are valid.
RavenWhen you don’t ‘believe’ in celebrating birthdays & giving advice to accept them as a non-issue, is not helpful advice to those who do…
To the OP-
If you want your Birthday to be remembered, make sure you give hints- BIG hints. Example, I’ve bought my own Birthday Cake for the last 12 Years… Not a big deal as I got what I’ve wanted… It’s always been an Awesome cake & Fun party. When I’ve wanted intimate, I’ve been vocal about that, too…WarasenIf a relationship only needed 2 days a year (birthday and anniversary) to treat your partner special I’ve been doing it all wrong for over 20 years! My wife and I treat each other like special people nearly every day. I don’t need her to buy me a gift for it either.
I’m glad even when we were younger we didn’t buy into all that crap, especially Valentine’s day. I guess some people grow up and others don’t.
HoneypieYes it’s crappy he forgot your birthday. Totally. I don’t know anyone who would think this is ok, apart from a hand full of people on this site. Bizarre
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