He ghosted a month ago, friendly catch up text a big no-no?

Okay in the spirit of complete honesty here is my full warts and all. I just ask that you please don’t judge and remember that this was BEFORE I discovered Eric and this website!

Background: I’m an attractive girl in my late 20s probably a bit over-dramatic and neurotic as you will tell from my DETAILED post, but my friends all love me and my craziness as do my family, in fact they all probably indulge me too much and let me get away with things I shouldn’t do! So anyway I meet this average looking guy with a hilarious personality at a New Year’s Eve party, through mutual friends. Instant spark, he makes it clear he’s interested and we do end up making out at midnight. Eek. We swap numbers but I lose my phone that night. I message him on facebook saying I lost my phone and he says when I get a new one sorted we should go out. I get my phone back a week later and message him. He keeps asking what my plans are and giving me details of his, but doesn’t come out and ask me to join until like 11pm. (red flag?) I stupidly agree on the condition that if I join him and his friends he will come to this club with me later that night where I’m supposed to be meeting my friends. He’s super drunk by the time I get there but cos he’s being so hilarious and sweet, saying things like he only got so drunk cos he was so nervous about meeting me and he was so happy when I reached out to him on facebook, so I don’t hold it against him. Our uber to the club doesn’t show up so we jump in his friend’s uber who lives down the road and figure we will get dropped at his and order another one from the warmth of his house. To cut a long story short I end up staying over cos he’s suddenly too drunk to make it to the club but I don’t want the night to end so I don’t go home like I should and allow myself to be persuaded to stay and keep drinking. We talk all night and end up having sex in the morning. Big mistake I know. No relationship will develop from this right? The problem is he opened up so much to me about just finding out his dad is dying and what a hard time he’s having with it, cuddled me all night and just generally seemed like a sweet guy. He texted me all the next day and insisted we hang out again to make up for his drunkenness, we’d already had sex so I stayed over again. (Now I realize I clearly cannot have sex twice with a guy and not get attached so I will definitely NOT be having sex in the future with anyone I am not in a relationship with!) Anyway he probably sensed my neediness cos I texted him first after 2 days of no contact. He did reply immediately and came to my friends taco night a day later. I had invited him cos he had said he wanted to hang out but I knew I’d be busy that weekend. Anyway I should have just waited for him to contact. Anyway after a couple of days I noticed I was always the first to text. he would always reply straightaway and we’d get a great banter going but it was clearly a pattern so I decided to stop texting and wait for him to contact me…that was a month ago!

Initially I was so hurt and confused, yes we only hung out three times and I broke ALL the needy girl rules but I still couldn’t understand why HE would not be interested in ME? Now I’ve discovered this website I totally get it, with everything on his plate with his dad the last thing he needed was a girl ready to jump straight into a relationship that would probably give him grief (I may have been a few drunken texts here and there telling him meet me out then getting annoyed when he doesn’t reply cos he’s fast asleep and then my being sheepish the next day). Plus I was not really acting like girlfriend material if I’m honest, giving up the goods too soon and all. But despite that I still have my winning personality and good looks right? How dare he reject me?! Lol

So anyway I know I should move on and put everything I’ve now learned not to do into the next guy that comes along. But I just keep getting this nagging feeling that I want to check-in and say hi, or send a jokey test and just have some communication. His dad was obviously a major thing for him to deal with plus I’ve never been ghosted before and it’s such a weird feeling. I’m sure he has friends and family he can talk to and he probably doesn’t need a girl he only hung out with 3 times to confide all his woes in lol. Nor do I have any expectations of a relationship, I just think he’s a super cool guy but I know there’s probably no coming back from my behavior, especially with everything he’s dealing with. HOWEVER, to satisfy my own curiosity (and ego I suppose) would a text really be that terrible? I am basically over the situation and have been on dates with other guys so I don’t see the harm in it but my pride is telling me why on earth should I text a person that has been happy not to even reach out for a whole month??? He’s clearly not curious about me so why should I be curious about him? But what’s the harm if we get some dialogue going and he ceases to be the guy that ghosted on me in my mind but becomes the guy I have a cordial texting relationship with? Maybe even friends, we do have mutual friends anyway and I’m always collecting cool peeps, (I’m an expat). Anyway I’m very interested in people’s opinions so thanks for reading! Sorry it’s so wordy! My friends tell me off for giving far too many details in my stories!