He has a dying sibling, what do I do?

I dont understand how a dying sibling of someone you date becomes a question on a dating forum. At first i assumed you were the same person that posted a question about a sister of a date dying after the first date and were i also responded that i assumed he made it up.
But you are seeing this guy since august you say. He is grieving and depressed and yet youre inclined to take it personally? Thats kind of selfish dont you think.
I think he has not bonded with you and therefore cant reach to you when in pain. He is overwhelmed bu hurt and has to deal with that somehow. And you might feel you want to be there for him, you are not what he is looking for. Some has to do with youre not his partner (like that would take up to a year to feel that connected and most with hiw guys process grieve. They dont like to be in pain so they dont want to talk about it.
Now i dont know the status of your relationship and i assume you want to help the guy and not asking because you want to feel important to him. You can actually Google how to help guys who grieve. I did that when my man lost his dog. And we knew each other for over a Year but i still wasnt sure how to handle it. In the end it came down to me telling him to reach out when he felt ready. And after that he liked a distraction so we watched a movie he picked. And then he was ready to talk to me.

So maybe people are misunderstanding because these responses are pretty aggressive and unhelpful for the most part, although the first response had some helpful tips. I am asking what can I do to help him, what should I avoid doing, etc.

Or you’re “trying” not to take it personal and you’re upset about it. Upset about what, exactly?

If you started dating this man in August – at 6-8 weeks you should have only begun to care for him because at that point you barely know him, his character, don’t have a clue of his coping style, don’t know his full level of interest in you or his emotional availability in terms of wanting to be in a committed relationship – as actions in conjunction with words, over time, is the only way you can truly suss out a man’s true interest.

So I advise getting on with your wonderful life as if you never met him UNLESS-UNTIL he reaches out. If you’ve already alerted him that you’re there for him – I would not reach out again. No not even if a month goes by. Single men do what they want, when they want to, most of the time regardless of their stressors. If he wants to be in your life, if he has space for that, and is interested – you will know.

I understand why you see it as not helpful but T wrote it down cristal clear. You only know this guy for a blip and you are not an item from what i got. This means, and thats also prettty blunt that every family member and all his friends have bonded with him more than you did at this point. So you did all you could and mirror him. When it comes to the timeline, around 2.5 months, you should have an idea about his level of interest. And if its not clear its usually a not that much.

An abortion for a woman is very heavy even if she is sure about it. So im very sorry for you that you had to go through that. If you are confident your bond is strong enough already and he is all in (which to me is more than exclusive dating) then you just have to wait until the guy comes to you. He might need some time to process but its really not more complicated than that. And Yes you didnt clarify any of those ‘things’. They do matter in the early stages to sort of view where its going. To make the advice matter. To leave them out and then reply with s snobby i guess i didnt clarify this and that as if we are bunch of nutjobs who cant read cristal balls makes me say good luck to you, im out

Everyone processes grief differently. You can ask how he would like you to support him during this time and just let him know that you are there for him when he is ready. It sounds like he already said that he didn’t want to talk to anyone and you should respect that. It might not hurt to shoot him a message once a week to check in and let him know that you are thinking of him, but don’t expect a reply.

Becca, you need to take 15 steps back here. IF what he said is true, his sister and family needs his support and he clearly told you that’s where his head and energy will be, not on you.

The best and only way to support a man in this position where you hardly know them is to just be there IF he reaches out. If not, you don’t text, send a smoke signal, call or do anything that will start irritating him. If this is a blow off, then you will be just be blocked. Don’t give him a reason (ammunition) to block you.

BTW, you are someone he barely knows and overly clingy tbh. His family, relatives, friends and even co-workers know him far better than you ever will so you are essentially at the bottom rung of his support system to put it into perspective for you.

Personally, if in this position, I would take this as a “blow off” and blow away by taking the “out of sight, out of mind” method.