Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He insists it's FWB but treats me like a girlfriend?
- This topic has 53 replies and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by
Vey.
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S
Vey,
So much of the advice given to you is projection. I knew from the original post that it was perhaps he liked you too much and was unwilling to be vulnerable upfront to you that he kept the artificial distance. Stick with him. Nobody is perfect and everyone has mental issues – many of your responders to boot. I went through the exact thing you did and found the love of my life. Good luck to you bothLove
Agree with everyone on here. Been there, done that. Exact same situation. It will end in tears if you keep this up. When a guy treats you like a girlfriend when he keeps insisting FWB, he doesn’t do that because he wants you as a girlfriend, but becasue he has poor boundaries. Watch out. Men like this are loose cannons that are a little f*cked up emotionally, either permanently, or becase they are a mess after their break ups and don’t know how to grieve properly. The FWB woman becomes the stand-in in fantasy land for these men, because they want all the benefits and comforts of a girlfriend (emotional and physical connection) without any of the emotional responsibility or commitment. It sounds like you’re in fantasy land too. Either face facts and enjoy it for what it is and put up boundaries (sex only, no hanging out) or cut ties. The longer you go in int this fantasy, the deeper you will get hurt. When a man wants a woman for his girl, he will PROFESS that to her and anyone with ears to hear. This guy is not only not ready, but I find that guys who do this tend to be a little bit emotionally retarded. I’m sorry hon.
Anon
I think you missed the part where she said he made it official with her
Vey
@ Anon Thank you! I find it entertaining how hung up everyone gets on terminology here–dating, official, blah blah blah.
To everyone else–sorry if my terminology wasn’t correctly used? I’ve honestly never dated more than one person at a time, so when *I* say dating, I mean I am WITH the person.
@S Thank you as well! I see the projection, it’s bloody intense. There’s a lot of self-protection going on, and I understand where it comes from, but it’s unsavory. The dominant logic here is to treat relationships like a closed system with rules and weird ideas about what people do or don’t deserve. Nobody deserves anything, guys… we only get the opportunity to pursue what we want. And generally, all relationships result in pain in heartache, so whooptie doo.
p.s. Still together.
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