Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He is hurt because he says I do not give him enough attention??
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LR.
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Ivy
Men don’t need lots of words, I’d suggest simply telling him that you do love him and you appreciate his love for you as well. Then tell him you realize you’ve been very focused on your studies and didn’t realize how important it was to reciprocate loving words to him. Tell him that you will work on it because you value your relationship and want both of you to feel happy. Then give him a kiss and hug and be done with the conversation. Perhaps after the date, send him a nice short text. Then going forward when he texts something nice just match it back — 30 seconds.
And don’t beat yourself up about it, this is really an easy issue to solve.
Just keep in mind that if you don’t ignore his bids and he continues this behavior, he may have some issues, but I’d try this first since you say you can see a future with him.
Ayaros
And should I ask him at what time should we talk or do I let him contact me again for that?
I’ve been reading too many articles here and such and now I don’t know anymore what is annoying a man too much or being too needy etc….-_-Ivy
Have you been reading here so much that you were trying to be very aloof with him so that you didn’t appear needy?
I can see you are confused.
You are in a relationship with this guy, simply text him a nice note “Hey sweetie, how are you? So what time is good for you to talk a bit more?”
That isn’t needy. That is called communication.
Ayaros
Yes I’m confused.
I’m between this mix of “I fucked it up, now I shouldn’t act needy or it will be worse, maybe he is not enough happy with me ” – and hearing a comment of another girl might give him more attention just freaked me out -_-Ivy
Relax…get a little centered. Stop blaming yourself and what is this talk of another girl?
This is simple, you just tak with him and tell him you will be more receptive, then have a nice time with him.
If you continue on this path of negativity then it’s going to be not so great for this issue.
Can you go workout or something to just clear your head? Do yoga or something.
Send him a little love note “Babe, I just think you are awesome and I look forward to talking with you to resolve this issue, I will do yoga now so I can get more centered. xoxo”
Seriously, he asked for more affetion if you give it to him and he goes away and thinks it’s needy then he is the one with issues.
Ayaros
You’re right. I’ll relax and see how it goes, I’ll give an update tonight.
We are having the talk in 3 hours.In the meantime I’m going to do some favours to mysel such as do my hair, skin masks etc,
All this stress plus now adding a bad feeling in my relationship is driving me a bit nuts.dixit
“Do not mention him not being happy with you.” AGREE. never say such thing. it’s something terrible to hear when one is actually pretty happy, just have an issue to solve and the other one starts with this “I am not making you happy?”.
Ayaros, keep calm. and except for what other ladies suggested, try to thank him for his support that he was giving you so far and say that his patience means a lot to you. people, and men especially, love hearing words of appreciation ;)
Ayaros
Thank you a lot ladies for your advice !!
We just had the talk and it went pretty well. For him indeed it wasn’t a big deal anymore and in fact wasn’t keen to talk about it again – but I still told him I need to tell him that I apologise, that I appreciate his support, that it would have been the other way around I would have acted worse, and therefore I wouldn’t do that again. He kept smiling in the end and saying how sweet it was, and how sweet I looked. He said he was sorry if he was harsh, and that he would like it that if I don’t want to text and prefer to Skype or call then he is willing to do that rather than being ignored (obviously). He then said he wished I was there with him righ now.
All is settled and we are even having another Skype tomorrow.I will try to deal better with stress and to pay attention better to my partner…as someone said here, if I choose to be in a relationship then it is my responsibility as well.
Thank you again – it helped me very much talking to you about this.dixit
I’m happy to hear that, good luck both of you ;)
Ayaros
Thank you dixit good luck to you too, you are a very sweet and understanding person, it was nice reading your advice!
LR
The guy texts and the woman does not respond. Therefore the guy always gets angry.
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