Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He is just not that into me? Agree?
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years, 10 months ago by
Liz Lemon.
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Ann
I’ve been with a ‘bf’ for four months. We met on Tinder. In four months I have seen him only 3 weekends. Usually he is so busy with his friends he see’s me on weekdays. Last night via text I asked him if we could maybe see each other every second weekend so that I could have more quality time with him rather than week days (I’m up for work at 5am so our week day dates are long enough). Usually when we meet? It’s on the days he suggests. Always on his terms. One time I decided to say no to weekday dates and asked for a weekend, he said no he was busy. So I said no to all the weekdays he asked and said I was busy weekdays. The next available time we could meet was in 3 weeks time. I stuck to my guns. So did he. We met the 3rd weekend. I waited 4 full weeks to get that weekend date. Anyways; I asked for every second weekend to be scheduled and he said basically, I am being unreasonable, relationships aren’t so regimented, he will see me weekly during the weekdays, and if that isn’t ok he clearly isn’t good enough for me because I am being selfish and wanting my own way. How is this me being selfish? Selfish would be me asking for every weekend. He fills his time up with activities with his friends every weekend and I’m to accept dates when he is free to see me, on his terms, when he wants…
Do you guys agree….he is just not that into me?
Newbie
I would say yes, he has limited interest if he wants to only meet you once a week and never in a weekend. Plus you are already fighting over it. If two people are really into each other, this wouldnt be an issue. Sure both have your own calender to do things but meeting each other would be organic. So i would stop seeing this guy
Raven
I ask you this the last time you posted this… Are you sure he’s single?
Anon
I’m not sure how you responded to his comments about being selfish, etc. I would respond with no response. How rude is he to call you selfish- absolutely a deal breaker. I would say nothing and if he asked what’s going on, I would say he can make time for you on weekends because that’s the only time you are available and he’s selfish for causing problems for you and work to only see you during the weekdays.
Shoshannah
If he likes to spend so much time with his friends, then I don’t understand why are you not invited to join them? Sounds like a not bad date idea to me – together with his friends, you attend some event, for example, and afterwards you have some time for just the two of you. If he is avoiding integrating you into his social circle, then yes, he is not that into you.
Franny
I think he’s married.
In any case, drop him. Stop begging.
Ames
Agree with the above it’s too early to start bickering..not a good sign. How old are you guys? Do yourself a favor and get out now maybe…It’s a little to soon to demand or expect him to change his schedule for you but being busy with his friends is kind of a lame excuse? Or he has other women he entertains on the weekends and you are stuck with weekday dates. If you wake up at 5am and work all week, then he’s the selfish one. Not you. At four months you should be in the honeymoon phase still. This doesn’t sound like a honeymoon! I’d look for other men to date and talk to. You can keep him as a casual guy to date but in the meantime stop wasting your time on him. I see red flags..
Elly
I was dating someone like this guy. You are side chick
Lynn
How many times are you going to ask this question under different names?? The answer isn’t going to change. You already know he’s either lying to you about being single or he’s just not interested.
Ss
He is married or in a ltr. I had this exact situation- accept i didn’t make any demands. I stepped back and stopped being available mid week. I was thinking of ending things as it wasn’t working for me mid week only and i was getting suspicious. I don’t have Facebook but my friend did a search and found his WIFE who was clearly very much in a relationship with her husband and not three years out of a divorce.
Even after confronting him he tried to weasel his way out of it saying they are separated and she won’t let go and he didn’t tell me as i wouldn’t have dated him if i knew! No s#$t sherlock!
Bin him off now before you waste more of your time x
Liz Lemon
How old are you two?
No grown man would spend all weekend, every weekend with his “friends” instead of his girlfriend. Why can’t he (for example) see his friends on a Friday night, and then spend Saturday with you? Or Sunday? It makes no sense. My bf & I are in our 40s, and we do hang out with our friends of course, but generally speaking he would much, much rather spend time with me than with his buddies. If anything he would rather meet up with his buddies for a beer after work during the week, and then dedicate his weekends to me.I agree with what’s been said by everyone else. It’s very likely he’s not single. He’s definitely not that into you, at any rate. Especially at the 4 month mark, as has been stated- you should be in the honeymoon stage.
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