He is mad but I want him back

We all make mistake, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us

I get we make mistakes, we are human but the hard lesson is life is that not all of them are repairable. This is one of them.

Going to therapy and believing you solved your issues in a session or two is a bigger mistake. You need to work on the root cause of why you “needed” so much from him, as this is not a him problem but a you problem that cannot be solved with “a sorry” but a lot of work on your part to fix those areas that drove you to needing so much from a man.

He believes you are too much work. Literally bent himself into a pretzel to try and please you yet it was never enough. If a man doesn’t think he can make you happy, then he will give up, and find a woman who accepts him for who he is, and what he is able and capable of providing her without having to do back flips.

In the future, if a man is treating you well and its never “good enough” then its a sign you still have some inner work to do. It takes time to work though and tackle them, not a day, week, month but until it becomes a lifetime change. For instance, I tackled co-dependency after divorcing an alcohol husband…it took a long time for me to break that mindset but with hard work and perserverance you can change those parts of you know you need to fix.

things weren’t working because we weren’t communicating well, therefore i felt left out.
He kept putting labels in the relationship without me. We never talked about exclusivity or bf/gf. He just one day started referring to me as such.
I think those talks are important because you need to define the relationship. So i found myself in a relationship that i liked but that I wanted to be part of.
What i think should have been a conversation about what can we bring to the table and do we want the same things and can do for each other, ended up being him leading and me figuring out things if i was okay with it or not and telling him.
I feel i am okay with things not working because we want different things, I am just not okay with him not wanting to try because he is mad at me.
I was not asking him to bring me the moon, I was asking things that i think are valid in a relationship. Things that should have been discussed in the gf/bf talk, like how much time can we invest on this and how do we think things are going to look. For me agreeing to a committed relationship means i am happy in it. I was either happy taking things slow or if we commit to gf/bf, i wanted to discuss how things should look.
I waited too much to express this so i acted impulsively.

Tallspicy,did you not see the word *randomly* in my post, or were you rushing to disagree?

you only knew him for 3 months? that’s not even established relationship, you barely know this guy.
I think your issue is that he is now no longer interested and you accept it, you want something you can’t have. You need to get rid of that feeling, otherwise you will always be chasing people who don’t want you.
I get that you are mad because he didn’t discuss the bf/gf part, but so what? maybe he didn’t want to ask you straight because he was afraid of rejection, so he thought it would be easier just to call it as it is.

Andrea, yes I did say randomly and it was not to be disagreeable but to point out people break up with people for all sorts of reason, random or not. It is not always logical or linear why things happen.