Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › He is still active on Tinder
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 7 years, 2 months ago by
Amanda.
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M
I have been on five dates with this guy whom I met on Tinder. On the fourth date, he said he wasn’t dating anyone else and he said he would like to continue date/see me, as well as for us not to date anyone else. Yet, I saw today that he remains active on Tinder (since I know he is abroad and his location has changed). Should I be worried? Should I talk to him about it?
Phillygirl
You should never agree to exclusivity before a man proves his intentions and sincerity. I would have told him that unless I’m a GF, a man doesn’t get the benefits of having me act like one.
And I would not rush into it in the first couple months, since you need to observe him and see if he is just full of hot air, flaky…or consistent in his contact and effort, and demonstrates honesty and integrity.
I mirror a guys actions in the beginning, and NEVER invest myself in him before he’s shown he’s investing in me.
I’d be back on the site and dating others. He’s earned nothing from you.
Raven
I’m confused… How do you know he’s back using tinder?
Lane
Agree with Philly! I would never accept exclusivity unless I’m in a monogamous relationship and its CLEAR as to what the expectations are, whereas if a guy’s still on a dating site then I wouldn’t view him as a potential BF until he showed me beyond a shadow of doubt he wanted me, and ONLY ME and took some major steps to not only show it but PROVE IT over a period of time (many months).
Until then I’m a FREE AGENT who keeps her options open until such time I decide if a man is worthy enough to even have the title of BF! Its ‘the prize’ mentality. The prize doesn’t compete in the race, THE PRIZE sits on her pedestal carefully observing, listening and learning about the contenders (men) competing for her attention. Those who are lazy, lack character, not putting in effort are LOSERS and dismissed from the race.
Only those who are putting in a lot of effort and clearly trying to win you over by getting you to fall in love with them because they’ve already fallen in love with you are the one’s you should consider and then decide which one gets her heart.
Let’s just say if my BF pulled any of that funny stuff I would walk away in a heartbeat and he know’s it!
M
I know he has been on Tinder because I know he is abroad and his location has changed to that place. From what I’m aware, Tinder locations only change when you are actively using the app.
Amanda
The tinder location thing is very unreliable. But have a conversation about what exclusivity means when you get back. Do not excuse him of anything. Just ask him, “so does this mean we should both stop using Tinder”. There is a chance he is looking for one night stands abroad, which could endanger your health…
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