Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He loved me, I broke his heart..6 years later I'm in love with him (he's lost)
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 7 years, 10 months ago by
shanice.
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Lisa Green
Hey everyone!
Im new here and I’d like some help or at least some conclusion for the situation im in right now..I had that little thing almost 6 years ago with this guy for a year and we were both very young like 18-19 years old , i was more mature than him and i was his first so he was more into me than i was into him until he fell in love with me badly and i didnt have that much feelings for him as much as he did, i think because i was still hoping my ex to show up again or maybe i was turned off by his immaturity and irresponsibility .. anyway we agreed to end it and i broke his heart big time and i regret it everyday since that day, we remain friends and we’re both now 25 years old, have common friends and went to the same university.. until we started to hang out again 2 months ago only the 2 of us, we’ve been having fun times and laugh alot and we get drunk together.. and i started to have feelings for him like real feelings.. until one day i was kind of drunk and i asked him if he still have something for me and he answered (yes i do) .. he was shocked because i once broke his heart and now im the one who started this after 6 years .. he said that i still mean something big to him and im very special but let me think about it and will give you an answwer.. anyway we agreed to meet after 4 days and we talked through the topic .. he first said ok but i cant promise you anything serious becuase im in the position in my life where nothing is going right .. i dont have a great job i dont have a planned future so that’s what i have now.. I agreed becuase i also dont want anything serious.. so after an hour he changed his mind and told me i cant do it! i cant go into a relationship right now because i dont want to hurt you.. i dont know anything about my life and i dont want to drag you into my mess and leave you hurt and the last thing i want to happen is to hurt you or play with your feelings..
that’s my problem and that’s the reason i joined here , is that i want to know what to do now and if he’s saying the truth or he’s just playing me?
PS: he uses physical contact alot with me and he mentioned he wants to kiss me more than once..
Im really confused..
we agreed to remain friends and keep enjoying our time this way nothing more.. :/
redcurleysue
He is not playing you. He is not ready and knows it. He is being straight up.
Listen to him and move on….for now.
Lisa Green
i thought that too.. but do you think something might happen later? i mean we’ll remain the same now but i can sense there is chemistry and eyes grizzling from his side. so i play cool and wait or what?
laura
No you don’t wait. Stay friends but do not wait. Keep dating others. What if you wait and he finds someone else??? Move on!
Maria
If 6 years later you still have feelings for each other, those feelings won’t go away in the next few months. Give yourself and him time to “season”. Be gentle and do not push or force things. Be patient. He clearly still loves you and feelings can quickly come back but he wants to be careful, he was hurt before and he does not want to hurt you, so no, he is not playing you, why would you even think that? he told you he still has something for you, many men would not be able to admit it, their pride and vanity won’t let the, but he did, so believe him when he says what he says and trust him.
Ge genuine. If your love is real then you two have a chance at happiness. Do not play games, tell him the truth and wait.
Lisa Green
he told me he never felt love after we broke the first time although he went into relationships but he said it was for fun , as i did too of course..
the thing is and all of our friends know it that he was obsessed with me since day one and when i told him about us getting back together again he said i thought i was friendzoned! so he was so shocked.. im still confused to be honest.. i know he loves me .. and i dont know what about all that physical contact and toucheing my back and neck when i talk or laugh.. are these signs for someone isnt in love? and the part when he told me i want to kiss you now then he told me im not ready for serious relationship! i mean what was that all about? i think he’s still in shock or he doesnt know how to react or really i came at the very bad time in his life..
Lisa Green
Maria <3 you made me tear .. i hope what you say is true and might happen in real life sooner or later .. i’ll be patient and genuine and hope for the best..
alia
Being obsessed with someone is not love. That’s usually lack of love, namely for oneself. I would take anything he says about not wanting to be in a relationship with you very seriously. Do not fall for him and get your self preservation up ASAP. You are on a slippery slope. He told you everything you need to know to not proceed.
Maria
He may be conflicted, and it is understandable. Who wouldn’t be. of course wanting to touch you is a sign of love. But you need more than that. Let him be, if he loves you, now that he knows you want him in your life, he would come to you.
6StringedMedicine
“Being obsessed with someone is not love. That’s usually lack of love, namely for oneself.” – how insightful, Alia!
But I agree, just give him time and dont press the issue or force him. Give him some space to first figure his life out so he can give to you fully.
In the meantime, work on yourself.
Lisa Green
thank you all <3
shanice
So I had this boyfriend we dated for almost one n half years. I completed my high school earlier than him…. I remained calm waiting for him till I landed to another man’s hand who pretended to be much caring than my high school boyfee. I made up excuses and I parted with my high school boyfee… We dated with my new catch went to the same University until he made me pregnant and ran away. I was left helpless since my parents were harsh and wasn’t ready for an abortion… With time I contacted my high school boyfee who was my ex by then told him the whole story n he was so sorry he told to count on him on anything I want…. Immediately I gave birth he was the first to come see my son…. We started dating again with my high school boyfee he loves my son and me also more than anything else…. Now my baby daddy is back he wants his son…. Am confused don’t know what to do please advice
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