Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He loves me? He loves me not? Should I block him?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 9 years ago by Options2.
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Kisha
He barely calls and claims he’s tired all the time. I put forth more effort in trying to see him but always fail on “my terms.” And when he asks to spend time with me and my two kids, I tell him “no” on his terms. We text/talk maybe once a week or two. We are planning to marry some time next year. I’m just tired of me putting forth all the effort in trying to see him and doing things for him, and he never puts forth any effort to fulfill my requests of him. I take him lunch to his job that I personally cook, and anything he (used to) ask of me I would do. For the past couple months I have purposely made myself not-so available to him. But I still am not winning. I blocked his number yesterday as a result of him not attempting to return my calls or messages on Thanksgiving. I even went by his grandma’s house after spending holiday with my family and he was not there. He did not answer his phone or return my messages. He says he loves me and there is no one else. I’m so over the back and forth with this. I try to keep busy doing other things but I still have him on my mind. I do not call and text him everyday, and neither does he. I’m keeping him blocked indefinitely until he goes over and beyond his efforts to keep me in his life. I used to push for us to be married soon. But I have backed off. He still has not stepped up to the plate. What to do?
SensyIt sounds like you are not actually enggaged. You already pulled back to which that did not work. If it were me, would let him know that the relationship is not working for you and go no contact to see if he steps up. If he does, modify your behavior to be the prize. You put forth effort. He should be doing that, as a man should.
redcurleysueKisha,
Will you marry me? Wow, you bring his lunch??? Wow!
You are beyond wonderful in my book.
You are doing too much for him and it is not respected or appreciated. Do not do what he asks as if doing it would make him see how much he means to you. I am sorry but when either a man or woman goes out of their way to show affection and the other party does not step up to the plate in appreciation then he/she is being taken advantage of.
There are millions of men who would do back flips if you brought home cooked lunch. Find someone who values your sweet loving ways.
This guy does not deserve a Big Mac.
JulesKisha, something to keep in mind–he is showing you who he is and how much he values this relationship. This is it.
You can block him and he may come back but I guarantee things will slip back to where you are now. People make time for the things that are important to them.
I don’t see this ending up the way you would like. Marriage will not be the solution to make a bad relationship good.
Options2What is the point of no contact ? If you are not breaking up – when he contacts you again, just tell him you need to talk.
Whatever you want to talk about, be prepared he is not going to like it. If you don’t express your genuine NEEDS, you may never get it.
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