He mentioned the possibility of a 4th date but hasn't mentioned it again


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  • #403277 Reply
    confusedgirl

    Hi you guys!

    So basically, my problem is that I find this guy I’ve been on 3 dates with a bit confusing. We met online, and I was the one to ask him out on the first date (was this a mistake from my side?). We went to see a movie and he then asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee afterwards and we ended up talking for 2 hours. He texted me only about an hour after the date telling me he had fun and asking me out on a second date.

    On our second date we were at my place watching Game of Thrones, and then he asked me if I was hungry and as I was (and so was he haha), he took me to an Italian restaurant nearby for pizza, he paid for dinner. We then came back to my place to watch another tv-show and always when one episode was over he asked me if I was tired or if we could watch one more episode, and ended up watching five or six episodes. The date went great and by the end of the date I asked him if he’d be interested to see me again next week and he said yes.

    The following week we went bowling, and after that out for a drink, and he said that he would have to be home early (because of a pain medicine he had to take at a certain hour which made him tired and unable to drive). When we had finished our drinks I said “I’ve had a ton of fun, but I’ll let you head home to take the pain med” but then he asked if we could go to my place for a cup of coffee.

    The funny and amazing thing is that we went to my place for coffee and ended up talking for about 4-5 hours which is insane because it was only the third date and I’ve never experienced anything like that before!! He headed home at 3 in the morning and said “Next time we’ll chill at my place” to which I said that I’d love to.

    We haven’t gotten physical yet, he kissed me on the cheek after our second date and after our third date when we hugged and he was pulling away I just went for it and kissed him. A quick kiss goodnight, no makeout sesh.

    Now it’s been a week since the third date and he hasn’t mentioned a fourth date or invited me over to his place. I should probably mention that we message each other daily on Whatsapp and the initiating is quite close to 50/50.

    Sorry for the long story, but my questions to you are:

    – Is he interested? If so, is he just shy and taking things slow (he told me that his ex is absolutely crazy, maybe that affects?) ?
    – Why hasn’t he asked me on a fourth date? Is he losing interest or just taking time to process things?

    I’m just a bit confused because he seems interested but I’m afraid that maybe I’m somehow misreading the signals.

    Thanks in advance, could really use some insights!! :)

    #403286 Reply
    Raven

    At this point, you have to sit back & see what he does …

    Don’t wait for him, do your usual stuff, but now the ball is in his court …

    #403294 Reply
    Rose

    I agree with Raven, I don’t think you should suggest another date. If he’s really interested he will.

    #403296 Reply
    redcurleysue

    I agree with the ladies – he has to up his game from his side. You chill.

    #403297 Reply
    Talllady

    Stop. You are chasing him. He should be doing most of the intiating at this point. Just chill out and let him follow up. And for gods sake stop texting him.

    #403309 Reply
    E.

    Agree with the others. He needs to step it up. Also, referring to an ex as “crazy” is a potential red flag. Let him initiate conversations and dates and see how it goes.

    #403369 Reply
    confusedgirl

    Thank you for your answers, really helpful! I hope I didn’t come across to you as a sad case, because of course I’m gonna keep living my life as I don’t want to subject myself to waiting around for a guy, but I’m just confused as dating feels so new again since I’ve been single for 2,5 years now :D if he doesn’t ask me out again, then that’s a pity but I’ll live :)

    #403370 Reply
    confusedgirl

    And by dating I mean seeing someone I’m actually interested in, only had a fling and some one night stands before this guy.

    #403398 Reply
    redcurleysue

    Guys show their interest by actions (calling, dates) – don’t have as many actions of your own in there that you cannot clearly see theirs….they set the pace of the relationship and should do the heavy communication. You follow but not as an equal.

    #403466 Reply
    confusedgirl

    That’s true, good point! I’ve toned down the texting (haven’t initiated in a while though, he’s been doing that, now that I thought about it) and see what he will do :)

    #403467 Reply
    talllady

    Good girl…..

    Here is how you can communicate – he reaches out, you respond warmly and quickly. He does something for you, you can thank him. Every now and then – like every so often, you can intiate something fun and flirty – nothing like – I miss you or happy morning (gack).

    #403480 Reply
    confusedgirl

    Thanks talllady! Yes, I always thanked him if he opened doors, payd for drinks or dinner etc cause that’s good manners and shows him I appreciate what he’s doing. I do initiate with something fun and flirty every now and then and I’m definitely not the “miss you, good morning” type of girl since I know that would freak him out :D

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