He never asks questions

A guy who doesn’t ask questions about you and your life, has little to no true interest in getting to know you on a deeper than a physical level.

Hi, I have been dating a guy like this as well for about 6 weeks. We have a good time together and he likes to tell stories about his past and will answer any questions I have for him, but he usually doesn’t ask me about myself. At times when I tell him something he’ll say “I was wondering about that” so I don’t know if he’s not interested in learning about me or isn’t asking for some other reasons.

I agree with Janet here. Give him the hint once (Give him the benefit of doubt) cuz he seems fine otherwise. If he does not step up then move on. A guy who really wants to get to know you will ask questions about you and check on you often.

Alice

I agree with the prevailing consensus that this is not a good sign.

An interested man wants to learn more about you if his interests are more than physical. Even if he is shy he asks questions. Be observant of those who do not.

Also be observant when a man is not receptive to reasonable questions about him.

He is just trying to impress you, dancing around you sort of speak. You know how those birds do when they try to impress a female? I wouldn’t be concerned he is just being a male and trying to win you over by all the qualities that he has.

It doesn’t actually come as a surprise to me that this is a common thing from men. I think this is just plain rude. I think men often get away with a lot of bad behaviours – and it’s probably women who are letting them away with it, grinning and bearing it, hoping that one day they might fall in love with us! I reckon these types of men are probably not even aware how self absorbed they are being. I would either ditch him or do as Janet says.

Men do not communicate in questions, so this whole thread is feeling like advise from women who do not understand men very well. They communicate by comment to comment, so if they are engaging with what you said, that is them showing interest. If they turn it back to them with no link to your questions, then they are not interested….

So if you share a travel story, they share a travel story. Oh yeah, me too.

If you say you like a type of food, they share what food they like.

But is you say a travel story and then they move to food, they are selfish.

You get the idea…

My colleague was stressing over something similar. She stumbled on this site and then sent it to me for my thoughts.

WOW! I didn’t realize how many ill-informed women are out there. As a woman, I’ve learned that men are amazingly complex in their simplicity. Do you all not understand that we are not the same? In our very essence we are different, but those differences are absolutely wonderful….when we attempt to learn how the other thinks and communicates.

Most men (TRULY) are not players. As a matter of fact, they abhor games to the point where they won’t play yours. When they don’t, they are beaten up for it. Shame on us, women!!

The majority of men (and there will always be exceptions) do not ask questions in machine gun fashion as women do. That doesn’t mean that they have zero interest in the women in their lives. Pay closer attention to what he does than what he says. Does he remember things you’ve discussed in the past and brings them up again? That demonstrates that he cares enough to use his mental space to remember things about you. Does he tell you about his work day in more than that it was “fine”? That demonstrates that he wants you to understand what a good worker he is, etc.

We spend far too much time expecting (and even to some degree wanting) men to think and communicate as we do. We look for meaning in every comma and lacking exclamation point. Instead, we should consider what it is that men want from the conversation (and subsequent relationship) with us… they want someone with whom they can share everything … that means they need someone with whom they can feel safe, not judged, not chastised, not corrected. They are truly looking for someone they can share their most guarded emotions with… because men have them! Each time a woman cuts bait and runs, he pushes that tender and broken heart deeper, where it’s harder for the next woman to find.

My advice to the original poster, put your pride aside. If he’s a good man, treat him like one. Don’t doubt, just do!

Hmm, all of your observations and comments are quite interesting. I have been wondering the same about a person who hasn’t asked a single question about me but has been very generous with answering my questions about his life and experiences. I do find myself asking questions in “machine gun” fashion as someone has mention earlier and need to pay better attention to slowing down. I also think that sometimes I forget that I have to let go of my “motherly instincts” and not make suggestions or fix things. According to some articles, I think that men would take that as a sign that they are incapable or need help. It’s a challenge since in my work, I manage male employees.

I agree this is a case of women not understanding men.

It would be “rude” for a woman to not ask another woman “how about you?” But it is not something that would be considered rude amongst men. As others have pointed out, we’re not all the same and what we prefer isn’t how everyone operates. We might not like it but it’s not rude to be a man and behave like a man.

Some people don’t ask because they figure if you wanted to tell them, you would just tell them. To that person, it might actually be rude to ask a lot of questions… if he thinks respecting someone’s privacy and allowing them to share on their own terms is the respectful and polite thing to do, then he won’t ask a lot of questions. If he understands women, then he’ll ask more questions… or if he’s more like a woman, he might ask questions.

You can tell him that you need him to ask more questions, as that shows you that he’s interested.. and then he can make an effort to ask more questions. I know it’s frustrating but it’s a pretty common man trait. My guy will tell me things I don’t ask about… like if I’m telling him a story, then he’ll chime in and tell me a story related to what I just said. Personally, I find it rude because we’re talking about me, and then he starts talking about himself… because if I wanted to know something, I would ASK about it. But in a man’s mind, it’s pretty much the opposite. He wants to tell me, so he tells me. And he doesn’t ask much because he figures if I wanted to tell him, I would do so without being asked.

It’s frustrating but it’s how it is and we have to work to understand and adapt to each other.

This is pretty much why I got fed-up with the last guy I dated and eventually broke up with him (well, that, and he seemed to not want to actually see each other very often after the first month and a half…which, combined with the other thing, made it clear he wasn’t actually interested in me). It wasn’t so much that he wouldn’t ask questions, he just wouldn’t seem that interested in knowing things about me, or anything I said. I guess he seemed more interested in me in the beginning, and I figured something turned him off and made him not want to know more…but not stoop seeing me, conveniently. But pretty much all he talked about was himself, his job, his ex…he would tell lots of “stories”, too, where he would seem so animated…but if I said anything, especially something clever or funny, he would just look at me blankly and nod…I couldn’t figure out if he was just self-absorbed, or not interested in me…which, of course, was confusing, since he still wanted to text all the time…about himself, of course.

But, having gone out with people that I wasn’t that into, I know I don’t ask them much either, or want to lead them on…but obviously, that’s more decent than actually dating someone you apparently have no interest in.

I was seeing a guy similar. He is quiet..but when he does speak its about him and his problems. He uses sarcasm as a joke..which i dont like. He doesnt ask me questions and says “i will get to know you in time” He is affectionate and can be caring.He is calm but can snap! He is 10 years older i am 49. If i say i think i should see otgershe says “ok”. He says he doesnt want to appear domineering. Pffft!