He no longer says he likes me or misses me

Hi Lia-I think he is enjoying being with you,but not falling in love. Most guys will fall in love and express their feelings at the 3 or 4 month mark. If he is no doing that,and seems to be pulling back,then I am guessing he does not see you as a longer term match.
I would stop initiating anything and be less eager and available to him.
Then you will see if he “picks up the pace” or peters out. If he continues to see you but it still feels off,I would give it a few weeks and ask how he feels about your relationship. If you want a serious relationship and he does not see that happening,then I would break it off.
I was in a similar situation and I called it off because we were not on “the same page”.

Lia i think that he he is just losing the excitement in your relationship, and this isn’t your fault you just need to have a straight up conversation with him about what you both want or maybe need in your relationship.
I wish you the best of luck
-caroline

Raven, when you say a giant step back, what do you mean exactly ? Should I stop initiating, telling him I like him, being affectionate… that kind of things ? I don’t want to play games, I’m not too sure about how to do this.

Caroline, thanks for your wishes. We had more or less this discussion and it turned out that he likes me a lot and wants something serious with me on the long term. He doesn’t have much experience with relationship also, maybe that’s why he is not putting into much effort now, or not breaking up when he should if he feels like it.

My thoughts are this: You’ve been together 5 months. Things were hot and heavy the first 3 months. For the past 2 months things have been cooling down … this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s very normal.

He might just be getting comfortable with you. Not everything can operate at level 10 all the time. Sometimes they get comfortable. He’s right about actions — and if his actions are giving you what you need, then why make up stuff to be worried about?

However if you are worried you could 1) talk to him or 2) pull back on the time you spend with him and interacting with him — specifically that means seeing him less times per a week, start picking up hobbies with meetups and going out with friends again and doing things that used to make YOU happy when you are on your own. **Get your spark back… ** if he’s intrigued (more importantly if you are still interested after you get your own spark back), then maybe continue with him. But stop waiting around for him to make you feel better.

My point is, getting clingy and needy and naggy isn’t going to help him get closer to you. Remember when you were happy? What were the things you were doing to make you happy (that didn’t have to do with a man).? Do more of that again. Get back to your own happy. Guys don’t like women who are all focused on them … it’s too much pressure. Just back off a bit (in the ways I suggested) and things between you two might achieve a better balance. :)

5 months is not that long. At all. Do you guys live together or something because it sounds like you spend a lot of time together considering the short amount of time you’ve been together. You are also overanalyzing way too much and need to take a giant step back. Remember you have a life too? Like before you met him. He might be feeling a bit smothered. Maybe give each other some space. It will make it more exciting. And people (esp men) hate the thought of losing their freedom. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Hang out with your fam, friends, work out. And it will be more fun for both of you :)

I’m with the people who say pull back and give him space. Sometimes it takes missing someone a little bit to realise just how much they mean to you. Having someone at your beck and call can make you complacent. You can easily get bored with someone who’s always there and who validates you all the time. Take a step back and let him wonder a bit.

Thank you all for your messages, it helped me a lot to see the situation more clearly.

You are right when you make me remember that I had a life too, before him. I put on hold some of my projects and travels because of my feelings for him, but this is a mistake.
I am going back to my initial plans and I feel excited to do so ! Even though I feel a bit guilty because that means I’m letting him down on one project I’ve offered my help for, but I think I need space too. To find myself again, it’s been way too intense in the beginning.
And to be honest, I’m tired of him blowing hot and cold, being affectionate and then rejecting me when he obviously knows it hurts me… I think that space will be good for both of us, to find out where we want this relationship to go (or end it).