He no longer texts me everyday but active on dating sites

I don’t think I would bring up the fact that you see that he is active online. If I was getting to know a guy and he told me that he was watching my online activity, I’d be really turned off and would probably pull away. You might want to try not paying so much attention to what he’s doing online.

It doesn’t really seem to me like he is ready to be exclusive with you. If he was ready/wanting exclusivity, he’d probably be going online less often on his own accord, right? So yes, you can bring up exclusivity if you really want to, but if you do I think you need to be prepared for him to say he’s not ready for it. Exclusivity isn’t something you should do because you’re trying to prevent him from looking for other women. It should be something you do because you have both reached the point where you’re ready to focus solely on each other and see how things develop.

For the time being, I think you should keep your options open and keep dating new men. See who else is out there. If he were ready to get more serious with you, I think you’d know.

Honestly…it seems like he’s over it. Just because you slept together does not mean he is your boyfriend unless he says, “I want to be your boyfriend.” He is just like you should be doing is keeping his options open. Never stop dating other people until you are EXCLUSIVE. Don’t text him, don’t communicate with him on any platform. Get rid of your FAKE tinder profile and put up a REAL one. Keep dating…

Hello Mia,
It sounds like you have become attached to this guy.
If he is still on Tinder or whatever else and it bothers you why would you devote your weekends to him like that?
He is obviously dating around and so should you.
It sounds like you are cannot handle casual sex and once it happens you begin to feel like a man needs to keep up constant contact etc…In the future give yourself only once he commits to you.
Lastly, get rid of that fake Tinder account and spend your time doing other things.
I agree with Laur when a man wants you it’s obvious and you won’t be wasting time playing dectective.

Mia I don’t think this is looking good for you. As I read your post I saw so many common mistakes that women make when dating. (I am equally guilty of them.)

You slept with him before you knew his intentions and now you feel bonded.

Laur is right. Men like to pursue. This man didn’t have to do any of that. You met for coffee once and since then its been sex and hang outs at his place for the past 4 “dates”. Those aren’t dates. Dates are when someone takes you out somewhere–dinner, the movies, a baseball game, etc.

Here’s the hard truth. Nothing is going to progress with this guy. He already knows he doesn’t view you as relationship material. His active online dating and lack of effort with you tells me this. Don’t confusing texting with true interest–texting is easy. Do this and you’ll get a honest look at your situation–don’t contact him, if he does contact you, let him do all the work. If he offers to take you somewhere, go….if he invites you to come over, don’t, it’s just sex.

I think a lot of us get confused and read more into it when a man appears forthcoming with his emotions. Don’t let his words cloud your judgement. Trust what he does, not what he says.

Also, never approach a man about being exclusive. That’s their job. If he wants to be exclusive, he’ll definitely say so. If he doesn’t ask within a reasonable amount of time, on to the next one.

Sorry to point this out but he is not sending you mixed signals. The message is very clear – you are not exclusive and he is seeing other women. Just because he says on his profile that he is a “homey” kind of guy doesn’t mean you should accept home dates that early in the game. So his routine is, he has women to his place so he doesn’t get bankrupted taking them all out. Clever. The novelty has worn off with you and he’s seeing other women. I”m sure he enjoys your company. But just because he’s polite to you and cooks for you and you talk about life sorts of things does not by a long shot equal genuine interest in a long term relationship with you. Women make these mistakes – God knows I sure have – a great deal and it’s time for us to stop. We are training these boys wrong. They want to work to get a woman. I know some people say that it doesn’t matter when you have sex and in the minority of cases it does not. But in my book sleeping with a man before you know his real intent and character is putting too much of yourself and your heart on the line way too soon and as we see on this site, it usually backfires.

As you can see by your own post that many times when a woman sleeps with a man she feels more intimate with him. She feels she is special to him or should be.

Unfortunately men do not feel the same way….they do not see sex as an intimate act that is reserved for special women…they see sex like eating…you get hungry you eat…until the next time you are hungry. And they are hungry a lot.

Now let me clarify this…when a man really loves a woman already then sex becomes much more intimate to him….it is a source of connection and expression of love…but he has to give his heart first to feel this way.

Without his heart into it sex is just food. Lesson – do not have sex as a pathway to his heart…he will fall in love with you with it or without it.

If you do have early sex with a man have no expectations…he means nothing by it…nothing at all.