Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He pull away after sex…
- This topic has 55 replies and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
Mary sheley.
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Kim
I dated a guy for a couple weeks physically and messaging prior to this for weeks. He seemed super keen, interested and wanted us both to come off dating apps to focus on getting closer. He said he wanted to prove how much he liked me etc by taking me out, we had sex he grabbed his phone and was not interested in cuddling so I left due to having work. I brought it up to him about how it made me feel him not being affectionate etc. He became extremely defensive and started to pull away. I tried to explain and apologised for making him feel bad. He ended it saying he no longer wants anything serious with me because of that saying I acted unnatural and forced. I was polite and wished him well so I started no contact for my own sanity. I haven’t heard a word since which I don’t expect to ever him from him again. Its clear his intention was sexual all along. Moral of the story to share with you ladies is believe actions not words. I realised his actions did not match his words, he was always a bit handsy even when I politely asked him to slow down.
I cannot lie no contact has been so painful, I thought we had a good connection in such a short period of time. I am not naive and I felt something powerful however it wasn’t meant to be clearly otherwise he would’ve contacted me surely by now.
:(Any advice would be amazing x
Kim
Sorry to add we been out on 2 dates and slept together after the 3rd date. We was messaging for a week and a half before physically seeing each other.
Only slept together once
Ewa
why do you need to cuddle someone after sex? I never do that and I would never even in a jokey way mentioned that I was upset because he didn’t cuddle after sex..
I had 3 dates with a guy and slept with him, no cuddles and he still wants to see me again. It’s not about the dates it is about what the guy really wants and if he developed a deeper connection with you.
if you are meeting a guy who in his head only wants sex, he will be gone once he gets it. this is why you don’t get attached to men you are dating for less than 3 months.Raven
Sorry @Kim, The guy was a jerk…
Advice for the future, listen to those Red Flags.
mama
Ewa, some folks like to cuddle, it’s not about “needing” to cuddle. It’s not your cup of tea and that’s okay. It’s also okay if others like to cuddle. People have preferences. I personally find cuddling a very personal, intimate thing that I would not do with someone I was just having sex with. It sounds like this gal had an expectation.
Would I have brought it up after the first time I had sex with someone? Nooooo.
Mary sheley
Dear Lina,
Is he French? These men would need a little tact. I am in no position to give you advice I’ve been many times through this. Yeah, with some guys I’d post sexy pictures of myself having fun, maybe would hook up once or twice sext a bit more and then vanish as well. At first, was also shocked still struggling with this myself. Fortunately, got some really good advices using the forum (no matter how it hurts). Being sexual and enjoy it should be all about owing it. Ofc don’t write to him, next time you casually hook up especially with french men, just type “this was fun” no I arrived home and etc. Also, as one friend told me you can’t force anyone to like or love you or give you attention. It’s not working like that. Don’t regret having sex and enjoying it but if you start overthinking and obsessing you’ll lose the fun aspect of it. I am currently taking time off, deleted dating apps, reconnected with friends and family and my life, it’s the only way to get my power back. I thought sleeping around made me cool, all about feminism and empowerment. Admitting that I want regular sex with emotions and a guy I like, fancy and adore doesn’t make me less cool or defines my personality. If you can pull it sex without emotions, by all means do it. I have personally only hurt myself. Good luck :) small tip: he wil resurface, that’s just how these guys are. I was sexting with a football coach for four months, we hooked up twice and when I left him messages to do it again unanswered he texted me after 10 months with a stupid reaction on how he preferred my hair not bleached. I laughed so hard, and I liked telling him I’ll consider your offer to meet again, who knows and played aloof. He disappeared just like that but I couldn’t care less cause trust me emotions change. Just can’t fast forward it have some faith in yourself. Life doesnt end with one guy plenty of others!
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