He read my message and didn't reply

Your reaction is disproportionate to the offense. Are you sure you have been going steady and happily with this guy? If him missing one text makes you want to cut him off, perhaps there are other problems?
All in all, he missed one text.

Maybe he is in the middle of a project or something for work. Maybe his boss is in the room. Maybe he was on the phone when you texted so he couldn’t text back.

B he has been online since.
And it has been 4 hours since he read my message.

And he is self employed so he has no boss to answer to.

I think it is absolutely wrong for him to ignore my message like that.

I thought we were in good place, I actually thought I was falling in love with this guy and now he does this.
Only Sunday morning he was telling me how much I mean to him and now he looks at my message and acts like it’s nonsense.

Maybe he felt comfortable with you and figured he can answer when he had more time. Self employment is often more stressful than regular employment. Please chill and let the poor guy reach out to you. Listen to a meditation or run around the block.

Thanks b and it’s cool

I am so tired and I want to sleep so bad but at the same I am so agitated that I can’t. And I have work tomorrow. I wanted to see him tonight as well as I missed him but now I just feel so angry that I am considering ending things with him.

Phillygirl Things have been good as I know that’s why I am so annoyed. Obviously he has a reason why he is not messaging me back and clearly it’s not a good for us.

why are you annoyed? why would he be ignoring you? did you get into a fight? has he been shady?

NO!

he’s been a perfectly wonderful boyfriend, so WHERE is this unhealthy need to hear from him asap coming from? that’s a control tactic when there are trust issues + self esteem problems. do you think he’s sleeping with someone else, cheating on you? no?

then leave him be. a little room to breathe is healthy in any relationship. if these are your expectations, i seriously fear for your ability to have a happy, healthy relationship with anyone moving forward.

how about instead of obsessing over your perfectly polite, kind boyfriend who’s been great the last 9 months — instead of being on the verge of a break because he hasn’t responded to a TEXT MESSAGE quickly enough — how about instead of being a total basketcase over nothing, you take time to do something for YOU? go on a walk or a run. cook a meal. watch something on netflix, grab a drink with friends. LIVE YOUR LIFE.

he’s free to do what he wants in his free time. he prob is talking to other people – so what? that’s what human beings do. we maintain several relationships with diff people.

unless you haven’t heard from him later this evening, you have no right to be pissed off. he hasn’t done anything wrong. he doesn’t have to answer to you as to what he’s doing with his free time (unless you have reason to distrust him).

i read messages from people all the time — boyfriends, friends, family members, coworkers.. and sometimes i don’t reply to each one immediately. doesn’t mean i’m not going to, it just means i’m doing my own thing and will get to it when i can.

also, stop stalking his online status. seriously effing creepy and you are coming off as a very insecure, needy woman. go do something for you and stop with this.

It is just frustrating and very helpful actually, and to make it worse he posted on Facebook three hours ago.

Okay Gemma I won’t necessarily agree with you but I won’t disagree either.

Here’s the thing, the way your guy is acting, my ex displayed such behavior towards me too.

Whenever I wasn’t able to get back to him during the day and saved everything for us to talk at night he would refuse to communicate with me. It was his way I punishing me for “ignoring” him all day, for not making him a priority.

The first time he did it to me it left me paranoid as you are, because you’re not use to him being like this. He never had to be online and not talk to you before does he? No. He always send a quick txt to indicate that’s he’s into something important right now just to let you know. But now he isn’t doing that.

It’s a form of manipulation. Now I may be wrong and the others are right. But if you know this doesn’t feel right you are not crazy. He is angry at you and taking he’s taking his sweet revenge. My advice to you, don’t give him the satisfaction. He doesn’t want to talk? then let him be. Don’t get angry, don’t get worked up about it. Don’t get carried away to making this a revenge. Just calm yourself down, you say you’re tired. Gal go offline and get your beauty sleep. Leave this man alone.

It could be nothing. But my advice work both ways. Tomorrow he may address things to you or he may be his old self and you guys can talk better without stirring up an argument.

Suize you might be on to something. I have read his message on Tuesday and didnt reply only because it didn’t need one. And messaged me in the morning normal. And I have not been giving much attention this week as much I normally do.

Even today even tho I do miss and I wanted to see him, I only send that message because I felt I was kinda neglecting him.

So I don’t know if you’re right and he is playing some kinda game with me now.

The difference between my message and his, is that my message required answer where his didn’t, if that makes sense.

Emma thanks I don’t think I am over reacting, this is out of character so I am shocked. And yes I am considering confronting him or ending it with him.

Gemma you have not answerd our question: Has it occurred to you that HE MAY HAVE FORGOT? Ever hear of giving people “the benefit of the doubt?” It is what nice people do to people they care about.