He read my message and didn't reply

Pandora We normally meet on Saturday for dinner and spend Saturday night and all Sunday together until Monday morning.

We established this the first few months into our relationship.

So unless either of us have something else planned it’s given that we see other on Saturday.

And sometimes we see each other on Friday night if we are not too tired.

And we normally plan this on Friday, that’s why I asked him what his plans were for Friday night ‘the message that went unanswered’

So yeah it’s very frustrating and absolutely out of character.

I would just call him and see what he is up to, if I were you. It is not that you guys dated a month or less. I think you have sort of right and freedom to call him. It is difficult to interpret text msg sometimes anyway. Just see what he is up to.

Every weekend together with fixed schedule is for people who don’t have others to care for as much or nothing else besides the partner going on. It would be scary if he has no intent to be married to you.

You should either develop something else for yourself or you two work on the same goals which is family or careers.

Well ladies —–
I got the “good morning” message this morning.

As usual as if nothing happened.

I asked what he got up to during the weekend and how come he didn’t acknowledge my Friday message.

Apparently he read it while driving and he meant to reply to me but totally forgot.
And that he thought He told me that this weekend he was gonna busy with his family.

I told him, the fact he didn’t get back to me at all during the weekend, seem out of character and that it almost put me off him

(Yes cringe ladies, I did say that).

And I went further and said if he wants me to go off him he should continue not replying to my messages.

He said that is ridiculous and does not want that at all and he was sorry he didn’t reply back to me and that it was a mistake.

If I were a man, a reaction like this would be reason to not deal with you anymore, ugh. I feel bad for the dude.

“He said that is ridiculous and does not want that at all and he was sorry he didn’t reply back to me and that it was a mistake.”

I think he just felt you were clingy. But it is not a mistake to suddenly not answer messages for two days, and that thing about visiting his family is maybe not true at all.

Now it is really time to withdraw, Gemma.
Show him that you are calm and not emotional.

He does not deserve your emotions right now. if you don’t withdraw now and let him do all iniatiation of contact again and be a little more hard-to-get, then he will only get worse and more nonchalant towards you.

I don’t buy his story. I totally believe that he could have forgotten to reply to you while driving, but the whole week-end he didn’t think of you once? It is simply not possible. We constantly think of people, even those who are not very close to us, they come to our minds, float in and out. All of a sudden you had a dementia for the whole week-end and simply didn’t think of your GF?

I think he wanted to make a statement of some kind and then backpedalled when he realized you are not going to chase after him and his “plan” is not working. But of course this is just guessing and only he knows what the real reasons are.

Whatever the story, it is sad. Now your relationship has been soiled, you’ve been hurt deeply and quite unfairly, and I can understand that, given that it is so out of character for you two. Once again why don’t people communicate honestly? if he had some grudge against you or if he felt you are not giving HIM enough attention why couodn’t he just tell you?

I still think you should still try and restore things to the previous trusting ways. When you meet tell him just how badly you were hurt and that you felt almost betrayed, as if he was manipulating you on purpose, because it is so out of character for you and him. If he genuinely cares about you and if it was an honest “mistake” or some kind of a bad idea on his part to get you to chase him or something like that, he won’t do it again.

I get it. I’m sure it’s nothing. I suppose there’s a chance. But don’t obsess over it- men are great at picking up on neediness.
I’m in the same situation after the same amount of time. I get it. LOrd, do I get it.
It’s disrespectful. But go do something to invest in yourself. Don’t contact him again until he contacts you first. Then be happy but indifferent. DOnt have an attitude See what happens.
BEst of luck. I know it’s so frustrating.

Since when does ignoring someone mean they want you to chase them? You sound annoying and demanding. He probably enjoyed the peace and piece.

You wrote:”We normally meet on Saturday for dinner and spend Saturday night and all Sunday together until Monday morning. And sometimes we see each other on Friday night if we are not too tired”.

My gosh, did you ever think he might like to have an occasional weekend to himself?? Most men don’t like being tied to the hip unless married. Instead of thinking he was with another woman (instead of family), maybe think about him feeling smothered and he just doesn’t say it because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Maybe he wants to break the ‘pattern’ sometimes, but thinks you will have a bad reaction instead of being more understanding of his time.

You said:”And I went further and said if he wants me to go off him he should continue not replying to my messages”.

This is the kind of repulsive comment that drives a man away!! Instead of re-hashing the fact you were upset that he didn’t get back to you and it was out of character, why don’t you ask him if he feels like planning EVERY single weekend translates into monopolizing his weekends. Surly you have other things to do some weekends too. Talk it through calmly with respect.

Gemma, have you thought that maybe his ego was hurt when he didn’t receive enough attention from you, just the same way you felt your ego was bruised when yoi dodn’t get from him what you had expected?

Sophia wrote

“Quoted from one of the reaponses here
“…be happy but indifferent. DOnt have an attitude See what happens.” How to actually do this? It is so hard to be indifferent but not get angry when you do care?”

Yep, it’s enormously difficult when you are hurt by a fellow, because you are not a robot, you feel very much pain,

but at the same time if you don’t just want to move on; if you also want there to be a chance that this guy will fall in love with you again.
Playing to have lost interest and being busy, not easy to get, is the only way then.

Lisa, thanks for answering my post… I think we can all dig very deep and make things very complicated at times yet we tend to be very superficial and trapped in the direct feeling we get from the situation and the short term results.

Can I safely say that if he still worries that she might freak out, that means he still cares? Otherwise he could just ignore her more..