He Said He Doesnt Want a Relationship BUT…..

Men are not complicated as long as there’s ACTIONS behind or in front of the TALK. If he’s all talk and no action then I would suspect it’s not going any further than what it is, a friendship.

Additionally, there are many forms of “love.” He may love you as a person but not be ‘in love’ with you in the way he needs to be in love with a woman to go the romantic route. This is the tricky part as men do have strong friendships with women they have no romantic feelings for. They love them but are not IN LOVE with them—there’s a stark difference between the two.

The best thing to do in this situation is to get clarity on what romantic love means to him, he could very well love you as a friend but not have romantic love for you which is why he added the caveat “he didn’t want to mess it up.” Going from friendship to romance is a tricky situation so I would definitely try to get some clarity to determine if you are both “on board” (on the same page) before you proceed.

There’s no BUT after “doesn’t want a relationship.” When men say they don’t want a relationship, 99% of the time they mean it and they’re not going to change their minds.

The “BUT” after that is to convince you to stick around on their terms because they enjoy your company. Too many women accept those terms hoping and praying he’ll come around to wanting her when they see how awesome she is. Only works that way in the movies.

So he’s making extra effort to keep you around… BUT on his terms. He doesn’t want to “ruin” your current relationship means he only wants to be friends.

Here’s the acid test: how would you feel if he came to you and waxed lyrical about a woman he just met who he’s fallen madly in love with and plans to propose marriage to? If your answer is anything less than I would be very happy for him, then you shouldn’t be hanging around him.

You need to consider your interests and life goals. Can you really just be friends with this guy? If the answer is no, then you need to cut contact so you can move on and be open to Mr. Right, no matter how much he begs and pleads. Don’t use him as a security blanket, and don’t let him use you as his.

Hey everyone!

I am really confused about a guy, even though it’s probably obvious what’s happening to outsiders. I was seeing this guy. He has so many of the qualities I desire. He’s taken me on dates and always paid. He’s kind and does things for me selflessly. He calls me every single day and we text throughout the day. But one day after I spent the weekend at his house, he told me he felt off and that he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet because his ex popped back up and he wasn’t sure of his emotions right now. He asked me not to block him and that he wanted to be friends. I told him I didn’t know if i could do that, and that I wouldn’t want to see him with other women. He said he meant when he said he just wasn’t ready. He also said he thought I wanted to date him already. I had never even brought up any long-term plans. He did. He mentioned me getting a job in his town when I am done with school. Yet, it seems like he got scared things were moving too fast and then said he wasn’t ready. He kept talking to me after that and sometimes I would leave him on read. He would message me a few hours later asking we how my day was going. He started calling me daily again, sometimes even twice a day. He always tells me when something reminds him of me. He tells me I am cute still and likes my pictures when I post them. He says he cant not see me in his life. I am just confused because usually men say wonderful things, but put no action behind it. He puts a lot of action behind things, but what he says sometimes doesn’t match it. He told me he misses talking to me and hanging out. I am not sure if I should stick around or not. I don’t want my feelings to be hurt again. However, I am trying to go with the flow, release control and expectations, and realize he isn’t mine. Any advice on how to proceed? Thanks ((:

When a guy says he doesn’t want or is not ready for a relationship, please just believe him and take it for what it is. Anything else is white noise and a waste of your time.

He is benching you and breadcrumbing you so he can pop back into your life when things don’t work out with his other options.

He can’t have his cake and eat it too

Just text him “Hey Sam, I was thinking we should give each other some space to figure things out. This situation we’re in is confusing me now so I’d like to take some time to see where my head is at. Take care”

Then cease all contact and consider seeing other people as well

i agree with Erin a 100%. i would do what she has suggested. you deserve better. and if he cant give you that move on. why settle for less? and where is his ex? actually thats kind of irrelevant once you have decided you have had enough of this nonsense. just move on.