Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › he said he needed space
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ItAhiA.
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beth
ok i was txting and calling a lot–said he needed space–feeling smothered– and i backed off a few days–contacted him tuesday and tried to talk–talked a few
tried to talk/call…..
last night he says he needs “fucking space” said its no longer fun and mutually rewarding…said how can i fix this
he said stop calling/txting for a start
we been dating since march
is it over?
I dont know what to doLena
Beth, obviously you’re putting way too much into this and he needs space. Stay away from him – no matter what you have to say, don’t text or call. Do nothing and let it be.
beth
lena,
i miss him
do you think its over?Stel
Beth,
Please honey..give him space when he needs it and he will appreciate that. It happened to me too, having a man so busy with work and other stuff. I give him breathing room yes, this is important. After he’s done with all he need to do he showed up and I can feel he loved me more than before. All you have to do is enjoy your life without him, have fun and go out. Get busy with your life and wait until he keep in touch. Just let him know you care. That’s all.Probablyjustcrazy
It definitely will be if you don’t give him the space he’s asking for.
Cali89
Beth,
Please keep busy with your life and stop contacting this man. You seem very codependent and it’s showing very strong right now. If it’s “over” then move on with your life, if not, then have a talk about what your expectations are in a relationship.
I wish you the best!
Hannah
You’re not listening to him and giving him what he needs. It will be over if you carry on doing that. Leave it up to him now to contact you when he’s ready.
Jordan
Leave him alone!
Maria
If you don’t stop calling and texting, it will be over.
Wait until he is ready to come to you, and he might not do that. He might NOT, this still does not mean that you should call and text incessantly, whether you miss him or not.
We all “miss” our exes, you know..
If you wan to salvage this relationship, you need to learn how to control yourself. Wait until he comes to you. There is nothing you can do. Anything other than doing nothing will be counterproductive, it will give you results that would be opposite of what you want.
beth
he said it’s no longer fun and mutually rewarding–do you think that was said because he feels smothered/
beth
I don’t want it to be the end..
I want to respect what he said ….but I just want to fix thingsbeth
im just really really sad–really sad…
I want thing to go back –I said what can I do
he said stop calling/txting for a start..
does he hate me?
should I ask to exchange our things?josie
I totally get that Beth
But your best chance at fixing things is to respect his need for space right now…. and try not to panic!If you keep pushing him, he will walk away
Hannah
No beth don’t ask him anything! Just leave him alone.
Maria’s right. He hasn’t ended it yet, so if you can control yourself, you may have a chance to make things OK.
If someone s making you feel smothered, of course it takes the fun out of a relationship.
Why don’t you spend this time while he’s taking space reading some articles on neediness and how it feels for the guy? It will give you something to focus your mind on and will help you in the future in either this or other relationships.
Newbie
I think this is over. There are probably other things thst happened that lead up to him wanting space. Read up on this site on how to not be clingy and needy. And still do what the other girls are saying: you don’t respect a guy when he is asking for space and then you give him just 3 days. Sit on your hands, have a life for yourself.
Maria
If a guy asked me for space, I’d be gone from his radar, from everywhere he could potentially be reminded of me, including social media, that very minute. I’d say I am sorry, I appreciate your honesty and respect your request. I am sorry I made you feel this way. And I will respect his wishes. Even if I had to cry myself to sleep. Mind you, many of us here have done exactly that, for weeks. And without guys asking us for space. Did you not feel humiliated?
Do not ask him to exchange things, you are looking for an excuse to continue to talk to him whereas he asked you NOT to, you think he will not notice this?
Do nothing and wait if you want a chance at salvaging this relationships.
And listen to Hannah, read up on this topic, on this site and on others.
Cali89
Beth,
I believe it’s time to start the moving on process. I also believe therapy might help you with your codependency problem, the only reason why I’m suggesting this because you are trying to fix something with someone who has told you how they feel. Let it go, leave him alone, he will most likely ghost. Why would you want someone who seems like they aren’t fitting your needs and wants?
Please stop texting this man.V
Sorry Beth that you’re going through this, but if you want the ladies (myself included) to tell you to keep contacting this man to try and fix this that’s not going to happen. If you’re worried that he will disappear in the long run that’s what you want. You have to constantly remind a man you exist if he really loves you. This is the moment where your strength is going to be tested. You have to have it in your mind that your life is going to be fine with or without a man. He is not the only man on this Earth and the RIGHT man will never walk away from you. Please stay strong and like the other ladies suggested, leave him alone and start back enjoying your life before he entered it.
beth
Hannah–how do you know he hasn’t ended it yet?
V
You DON’T have to constantly remind a man you exist if he really loves you. (Damn typos lol)
beth
I DONT want him to totally disappear and be gone from my life
Cali89
You can’t FORCE someone to talk to you. If he wants to disappear there’s nothing you can do about it.
Terry
Sorry, but it sounds like he broke up with you. I know it hurts, but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Correction: there is something you can do about it – IGNORE HIM! He will realize he made a mistake and come back, but only if you give him a chance to miss you. You have to find it within yourself to act like you don’t care, and eventually the feelings will follow. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT. Then, if it’s meant to be, you will hear from him again, and if you haven’t gotten over the jerk by then, you may want to give him another chance. But let him come to you. It’s the ONLY WAY.
V
Beth, what is it that you love about him that you can’t find with someone else?
Jordan
Then leave him alone for a while. No offense, but what are you not getting from these replies? Let the guy breathe and do something else with your time. Right now, you are showing him that you don’t have much of a life and all you do is sit by the phone and nag him with calls and texts. Pretty soon, he’s going to want a much more confident woman and leave you behind if you don’t stop this. Is that what you want?
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