he said he needed space

I tried to txt

Beth, can you please tell us what’s going on with you?

Did you send that text? how long ago? did he reply? You owe us an update girl.

Beth, do not text anymore.

It is not over yet, from what I understand he is not a complete asshole to just drop you like that for good, he would have told you it is over, and he might still tell you that, a couple more texts from you and he will.

But right now, it is still not over. I hope that NOW you would believe those of us who kept telling you not to contact him.

He will reach out to you when he is ready. He will, if only to say good bye, but you will hear from him.

If he does not reach out to you before Christmas, then right before Christmas, you can email him (do not text) and say “I am missing you terribly, I did not want to contact you because you asked me to give you space, it has been very hard on me not to know how you are doing but I understand you have your things to sort out. I won’t be contacting you anymore but I am here if you need me. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, I would appreciate it if you let me know, so that I stop worrying and can move on with my life. Wish him Merry Christmas [add the rest of the holidays wishes]”. He will be a complete jerk not to reply to you on Christmas eve, so this will be your opportunity to find out where he stands or to obtain closure. If he wants to end it, do not beg or plead with him Beth, please do not do that, it will not change his mind. Say that you appreciate his honesty, respect his needs and will be moving on with your life. If you feel he is not sure what to do, that he does not want to end it yet, do not push, gently tell him you are missing him but you want him to be with you only when he is sure he wants it himself, and give him 3 weeks to decide.

So I shouldn’t just ask for my key back

@maria
Why do you say “not over yet”

Some of the posters here advised you to contact him so you could create your own closure and have your answer. You’ve reached out; so far he’s ignoring you. So do you feel better or worse? Do not reach out again, even on Christmas. If you’re concerned about your key, you can have your locks changed.

Maria: you give some crazy advice sometimes but this really takes the cake. Telling her to contact him on Christmas Eve and say that is absolute manipulative madness. WHAT the hell are you thinking. If you are going to pour gasoline on a fire you deserve to be banned.

Anonymous – If I want your opinion, I will ask for it, but thanks for volunteering. I say what I want to say, I am not terribly concerned with what you think, sorry. Oh and I am sure you know that, but just a reminder, it is not up to you to decide whom to ban.

Maria, you put your opinion and you put out crap and you’re gonna get called on it. If you can’t handle it don’t post.

No I don’t decide who gets banned, never claimed I did.

The man asked for space and Beth just cannot respect it, unfortunately. Telling her to contact him on Christmas Eve and telling her in the vulnerable state of mind that he’s a jerk if he doesn’t respond is irresponsible, when the odds are against him responding. Why would you tell her to set herself up for more rejection she can’t handle?? Very lame advice and likely to cause Beth more pain she can’t handle. Insensitive as hell.

Anonymous,

We are all entitled to our opinion, and heated discussion is also encouraged. I will say that I respectfully disagree with Maria’s last piece of advice. But I’ve no right to attack her or use profanity to get that across.

Attacking another poster is actually grounds for banning.

Mae: please revisit my posts directed to Maria. I used no profanity whatsoever, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I wasn’t attacking. I’m taking issue with very poor advice Maria gave to a vulnerable person who is clearly unable to handle it when a man who has asked her to back off for a while. Again, advising her to contact him on Christmas Eve because he has to respond or he is a jerk is manipulation and it’s setting Beth up for another rejection she is completely incapable of coping with. I’m not attacking Maria, I said this is crazy advice because it is likely harmful to the poster and I stand by what I said. If saying this makes me get banned, so be it, I don’t need to be here.