he said he needed space

Last night when he said that stuff

Kate – last night when he said that stuff

So you are in full on catastrophe mode right now. If you were to see him, text him or talk to him right now, you would dump emotional vomit all over him. I know you can’t help how you feel, but that isn’t attractive to anyone. You can’t talk to him, whether he reaches out or not, until you have your panic and anxiety under control. If you don’t meditate, I would suggest you do some research and learn some different methods as it can really help balance out your emotions. Maybe seek out a therapist and as a last resort, some anti anxiety meds. When you DO talk to him again, you want to be calm and patient, not desperate.

As for how long you need to wait, no one here can tell you that. I realize that every day could feel like torture, but if you get in the mindset that you a lovingly and compassionately giving him a gift (of the space that he asked for), it will make it easier. Approaching relationships from the perspective of giving, instead of getting, always feels better in the long run and if you can truly see it that way, he will sense a shift when you talk to him.

If you hear nothing before Christmas week, maybe send him a text just saying you wish him the happiest of holidays and you hope he is well. But I can’t imagine that he won’t contact you before then. Hang in there and every time the urge to text him becomes extremely strong, come here and let us talk you out of it.

His xmas presents are here :(

But that one person called me fake and I’m scared I’ll be smothering all of you
I’m real you can call/txt me

Beth you sound incredibly insecure and needy. Why are you worried about “smothering” people on this forum? Stop sounding so insecure, it’s not attractive and probably one of the reasons why this guy doesn’t want to talk to you.

I think it would be a better use of your time to do some self reflection and figure out where your insecurities and neediness stem from and work on fixing that alone.

The posts don’t sound real at all. You girls keep responding with tons of good advice and all original poster does is going back To the same one line statement.

Beth, i think you have to let your guy know his presents arrived, so that when he is done taking his space, you can give them to him.

Um, Newbie, on the off chance that you are incorrect, and I believe you are, why would you want to make this woman feel any worse than she already does without offering constructive advice?

And he just told her last night to stop texting and give him space. If she turns around and texts him again right now, even to tell him that his gifts are here, it will look like a desperate attempt to create a reason to communicate and make him feel guilt.

He asked for space and for her to stop texting/calling for a while. She needs to respect that or the situation will worsen. I’m assuming that he will reach out before too long, but she needs to wait a while to text or call him, even if only to tell him she has his gifts.

Kate, Beth got plus 30 responses about what she should do, they are all correct. If she choses my option, she is plain stupid (but i think its a fake post). She has given no details about the relationship etc, only one line every time. I Know i should have kept my mouth shut. But i’m not gonna be person 31 to say Beth honey, you are needy and clingy. Don’t be that person ( i think i did say it somewhere)

I already feel like shit newbie- I don’t need to be bashed
What can I tell you about Bryan
We been dating since March

She did say this:

“hi everyone
thank you for all the advice and everything
I know you are all right- its hard because I love him
I need to back off and give him some space and let him miss me
I know that is the ONLY chance I have to try and remedy things
If I try to contact him he would be very upset and It would not work in my favor
if he is on the fence that would be the deciding factor to say goodbye for sure”

Which suggests that she has recognized the advice as being sound and knows what she needs to do, but is seeking support in doing it because she is in pain. Direct is one thing but if you’re in the mood to be sarcastic and demeaning, maybe just refrain from commenting? Jeez…

We’ve been serious seeing only each other since about June July
We are both 30
Yes I have made him to be extremely important and no I have never wanted to take a break from anyone that I can remember
I think at times I’ve been wanting much
And yes I’ve been told before by friends and bf before – I can be overly passionate
I can place myself in that – if I asked someone got space and they called the next day I’d be upset
I’d want to try to be understanding but prob upset too

We’ve had some communication probs in the past but accepted his style is not like mine