He said I'm annoying, is it time to walk away?

Did you not post about this before? I remember the “annoying” word.

But if it is yet another story, hopefully not the same guy lol, then the best course of actions will be to forget about this. Your joke was very lame and it pinched him in the sore spot, it was not very tactful of you was it?. A week or two later or when you see him in person, with a smile, tell him that it didn’t feel nice when he called you annoying, you wanted to cheer up him, and ask him not to call you such names anymore.

Firstly, thanks for the input.

Haha, no Nat, somebody else must’ve been annoying too :D

Sorry, I see that I didn’t formulate my concerns right. My concern is the meanness with which he tried to take his dissatisfaction with the developments on his job out on me. It’s not my fault that the conditions of his job changed drastically from what he originally negotiated. I’m willing to be his support, but not his punching bag. My comment wasn’t that terrible (“Oh I thought you took the train from Munich to your village” because I didn’t realise he’s talking about some other trip), and until yesterday he hasn’t told me that he’s that seriously bothered by the change of his living location. In retrospect I get it why it stung, but he had a choice of putting the phone down until calming down or saying that he doesn’t feel like joking about the topic instead of pointing out I’m annoying (with the clapping hands smiley on whatsapp :D :D).

I’m worried that it will become a pattern, since his work conditions probably won’t improve anytime soon. If I’m annyoing him already at the beginning and he’s being mean to me I’m not sure the future is bright…
What’s the best way of making it clear that problems should be addressed in other manner in future? thanks

LDR’s rarely ever work because men need the PHYSICAL in order to maintain the bond. Communicating by text is the WORST way to stay connected because it has he HIGHEST RATE of miscommunication when you don’t have the verbal (tone, inflection) and non-verbal (body language) to defer to.

You didn’t know what mood he was in, and when your shooting in the dark (lobbing a text) your going to miss the target. Texting is the TOP TWO reasons relationships fail today because its a communication barrier, not a way to connect with a human being as you don’t know what they are doing, or how they are feeling at any given moment, so if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time its going to cause issues because you don’t have any intel (verbal and non-verbal cues) to work with.

I use texting mainly for logistics…the bulk of communication should always be IN PERSON (highest level), and via a PHONE CALL when not in each other’s presence—texting should be used the least if you want the least amount of issues.

As always everything Jay says is usually spot-on. I would listen to her but I also want to add that in a way I am happy that you don’t want to be called names, even saying you were annoying. I should have stopped all that long ago but I have lived 30 years married to someone who has called me the worst of names ever and even worse what he has done with his actions so I am proud that you know better. It takes lots of guts which obviously I never had.

Even if what you said was a badly placed joke. He shouldn’t call you annoying. I would never accept that especially after only 4 months. What happens at a year if he is already comfortable with saying that at 4 months.

I don’t think I’ve ever posted on a forum before, but I had to say something because I couldn’t believe how little support you got here, and how many people blamed you for him being disrespectful to you. I’m not saying you should break up with him because he said you’re annoying, and yeah, texting is not the best form of communication. But you should definitely hold the person you’re with to a high standard of how he treats you. Also, always communicate what is going on with you, and expect the other person to respond in a respectful and compassionate way. Even if he was annoyed by you, he needs to be able to express that like a respectful adult, and if he makes the mistake of not doing that (which happens), he needs to be able to recognize his mistake and apologize to you at least for hurting your feelings (if not for being a dick) and have some kind of commitment that he will try not to hurt your feelings, and will try to not treat you that way in the future. AND if you did something that truly bothered him, then you need to own up to that and commit to avoiding that action in the future. And if it was just a big misunderstanding, at least acknowledge the effect that your actions had on each other. I would say that unless there’s outright abuse, then never leave a relationship without addressing the issue, because it may be able to be fixed. The women who hold their partners (and themselves) to high standards are the ones who end up in positive and loving relationships.

I do not think it was okay for him to call you that. You should talk to him about it, and let him know how it made you feel. this way, you and him can work things out.