Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He says there is no spark?
- This topic has 17 replies and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by
Hannah.
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Sandy
I really feel self conscious about posting but im very confused…so here is my story..im a 25 year old female and a year ago i met this amaizing 39 year old man…now he is 40…so we do have a large age gap, but even so we decided to talk and get to know each other without officially dating since he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He has been thru 13 relationships and has a pre teen son who is his life…he remained single for 8 years and then was sweped away by a woman and in 4 short months he fell for her and moved in with her and her kids and all this things just so she would cheat on him with a friend…needless to say they began dating while she was with someone else…so it was signals he chose to ignore. As a result of all this is he is very hurt…so a year ago i met him…we have been talking but he still isnt ready for a relationship however he wants all the boyfriend treatment which i didnt mind because i chose to be patient and give him time.he however has never been fond of physical contact with me he hugs me but kisses and anything other than that weirds him out..we had sex one time and he never touched me again. A month ago i felt something was different and because we work together i knew something was up…so another girl that works at our same workplace and who has a boyfriend decided to start messin around with him after she asked me if we were together and i told her we were talking…she said she would stay aeay and a week kater i find out they have syarted talking..he was honest to admit to me that he has kissed her twice…i asked if he wanted to be with her and he says he is single and isnt with anyone..that he likes spending time with me but that thwre isnt any spark…however when i left him he was hurt and he looks for me and such…so he misses me….im confused because this woman is chasing hard after him…do she is still with her boyfriend and im hurt that he is involved in all this and is willing to throw everything away to be someone’s second choice.im also hurt because kissing me is so hard for him but he was so eager and willing with her…idk if i should fight this and remain with him or give up since he has chosen her in a way…help.
julie
Run for the hills, Forget him and find someone who loves to kiss you, he is a waste of your time x
Joe
Give up! You’re wasting your time.
G
What a fake post. Just take every possible wrong thing from , he’s not ready for a relationship to seeing a man you work with , to he isn’t rready for a relationship to cheating to a friend hitting on your guy and put it all together and you get the most fabricated thread award. Congratulations
What
Bahahahahaha!
Sandy
Thank you for your replies and im sorry some of you belive my post is fake but this is what im going thru.
L
Sandy at 25 you should not be dealing with a 40 year old man who doesn’t want intimacy with you and is obviously emotionally unstable. He is probably interested in the other girl bec she has a BF and nothing will come of it.
He clearly said to you he is single and has no spark…please walk away and take advantage of this time to find someone your age and who wants the same things as you.
Newbie
Fake posts tend to start with:
– here it goes;
– this is the story:
– i like some advice of all you wise ladies
– a friend told me to post hereFake posters usually have a random female name or a letter.
Anyway Sandy, you are hurting he chooses to be someone’s second choice so you can be his second or third choice. Dont you want to be first choice?
Sandy
I do want to be the first choise and he knows…he says that how i know he is the one for me if im young and can meet someone later in life.? But i know how i feel and it hurts because i rrally care for him and i know from yhe looks of it
.it will be heartbreak num. 14 for him….G
Newbie
So your the expert on fake posts now?Fake post also present very possible thing that could go wrong under the sun. Which frankly, you would have to either have the worst luck in the world and expect to be struck by lightening before anyone responds… or it’s fake.
I don’t believe a word of this, it contains every cliche issue a woman could run into in a lifetime, into one situation.
Newbie
Hahaha G, youre funny. Now read my post again and the first paragraph of the first post.
No, im not an expert, but i revied a few i consider fake and these are the similaritiesJenny
It drives me crazy when ppl think they have magic abilities to tell if a post is fake! Well I can rarely tell.
OP -Leave him! Do not go out with creepy old guys. You can find a wonderful man your age – take advatage!
Amanda Rocks
Why would this be a fake post ? I dont see it. Anyway Sandy you are way too undervaluing yourself here. This guy wants the boyfriend treatment but doesnt want a relationship oh dear. Why oh why are you still hanging around holding off for this so called prize that wont even kiss you. Come on. This is going nowhere and hes happy to kiss someone else. Get some dignity, some self esteem and stop wasting time on this loser. He is not the only guy on the planet you know. Theres a guy out there that will be delighted to kiss you and make you his gf but while you are hanging around this old loser you aint gonna meet your guy. You need to maybe look into improving your boundaries and self esteem too if you want to get yourself a bit smarter and more confident for better dating. x
Khadija
since he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship.
I stopped reading here…once a guy says that ct your loses. The don;t change their mind and you end up wasting your precious time.
Any guy who truly wants something serious will not tell you this.
redcurleysue
Sandy,
Who the hell cares what this guy wants? I care about what you want.
You want a guy who is happy to be dating you and does not have several women to think about. You want a man that will cherish you and your tremendous heart and soul.
That is what you want…that is what you deserve…not this guy.
He is a waste of thought and energy. When you can see that you will open up those beautiful eyes of yours and look around for someone who is worthy of your time.
G
The only thing left out is her getting pregant, losing the baby, being on welfare and getting into a car accident that made her lose her sight….lol
redcurleysue
G,
I know you think this post is not real. But you might be very wrong about that. I would not be so smug and assured. You may have had an easy life but not everyone does.
You are not respecting the OP and that is not acceptable.
Hannah
I never have a clue if a post is fake! A couple of times I’ve said I think one is and have felt mean afterwards when it became clear it wasn’t. Now I don’t even try to guess!
Sandy I’m with the others. You need to let this man go. If he doesn’t feel a spark, he doesn’t. There’s nothing you or he could do to change that.
I’m never convinced by a guy saying he’s not ready for a relationship. In my experience, all that goes out the window when a man meets a woman he really likes and all of a sudden he’ll want a relationship! So in this situation, I think it’s more that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with you than anything else. Quite frankly, no one would want a relationship with someone they don’t feel a spark with or want to have sex with would they?
I think this is a lost cause and you should give up on him.
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