Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He sent me the wrong message??
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Veronica
So I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, we met online. I like him and he seems to be very into me.
But here is a strange situation: we kinda agreed to hang out today but he never made any specific plans with me, only texted me tonight around 9 saying he is leaving work and if I am free tonight to meet up. I said I am tired today so no, but I suggested we could meet up this weekend. Since this guy has been consistently asking me out and didn’t have too much bs, so I really did like him.
Now, here comes the problem, after I sent that message, I got a reply, quote” OK:( I might go back to Philly but I’ll let you know if I am here” so this text seems good, no problem. And then he soon sent me another one, quote “3rd and 33”. So here is the one that confuses me, I think I am not supposed to be the girl who should be reading it, I think that’s an address and he probably meant to send it to someone else, please correct me if you think I am wrong or I am being too sensitive.
You see, I live in nyc, and his text indicates a typical address (cross street and ave).. I originally thought it might be something else, but I could think of something else that makes sense.
So now I feel hurt, most likely he is sending this to some other girl or some hookup message, I honestly thought he has potential.. How should I respond to this message? Should I tell him you sent the wrong message? I am actually pretty angry now.
Veronica
Please help, I am feeling hurt and angry here. ugh, I just don’t know how to think of it.
CalLady
You have no idea why he sent that, who it was intended for, or what the meaning behind it was. It’s only been a few weeks, stop overthinking things. Hes said he’s out of town, unless you have agreed to be exclusive he owes you nothing, by the same token you owe him nothing. Go out, have fun, get on with your life. If he’s interested he’ll call when he’s back….
Ellen
I am sorry to hear that. I would be sensitive and maybe mad too. But you have only been seeing this guy for a few weeks so you can’t come off to strong and ask for explanation or anything like that. I would reply to that text smth along the lines “i am not sure if you mean to sent this to me” but dont seek explanation.
Also, you should expect that he is dating since you guys are not in any type of commitment. You should also keep your options open. Be cautious and take this as a warning sign.
Veronica
What makes me feel hurt is that he might be accidentally sent me the text that he was supposed to send to another girl. I feel like it’s an open hookup message (that”3rd and 33″)and he accidentally sent it to me, apparently he should be sending it to some other girl that is currently going to his place, should I send a “?” to him?
I am pissed.
Maria
Veronica,
Why do you assume it was accidental? Do you accidentally send two messages to the wrong person in a row?
I wouldn’t be so sure.
In any case, this is a red flag, regardless of whether this was intentional or not, you don’t need a guy who tells you one thing and does quite the other, so stop and pull back and observe him. Cool off your communication with you and definitely do not sleep with him.
And yes, do tell him, I think you sent it to the wrong person. He would figure it out anyway, and if you did get it and not say anything it would be sheepish. Don’t be afraid to confront him later and ask what it was.
Mi
Why are you convinced its another girl? It could be a friend, a coworker or his mother. Just respond “?” and be done with it.
Amy
Don’t read into this. You don’t know who the message was meant for and even if it was another lady, you’ve only been dating a few weeks.
Shanaya
Well, if I were you, I’d just reply ‘Umm. what?’ and depending on his reply you know what’s the deal? Because while he could be pulling off some fuckery it could also be something as simple as him giving someone directions to a restaurant etc. that they want to go to. Just ask and you’ll know.
caetru
It sounds like you are letting your insecurities get the better of you. I know I do it also. You’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks so it is likely that he is dating other women. You should be dating other men as well.
I would guess since you couldn’t meet him after work he made plans with someone else. It doesn’t mean it was another woman or that it was for a hookup. Regardless of who it was, he wanted to see if you wanted to hang out first.
I would have asked if that text was meant for me because I didn’t understand it.
Jenni smith
It sounds like he asked you to hang out first and you said you were too tired, so maybe he decided to meet up with friends instead? Do you know if he lives at 3 and 33rd? It could have also been a food delivery service that he was giving directions to. Anything! I think this is your own insecurity getting the better of you.
Veronica
Thank you ladies.
I am not sure if it’s my insecurities but I am 100% sure that text would indicate where he lives(guy told me once), so it has to me someone coming to his place…
I was hurt and angry last night .. But I am feeling better today, I was thinking maybe I shouldn’t respond? Since he is gonna figure it out anyway (he probably did but he didn’t follow up with any explanation), or should I send a “?” or “I am not sure if you meant to send it to me”. My concern is I will make it pretty contrataional if I send that. I’f I don’t respond I could watch how he explains himself next time he contacts me.
Tallspicy
Stop! Stop! Stop! You are on the self imposed drama train. It is hard before you are exclusive, I know. But, you said no. Just say:
Hi sugar! Think this was for someone else :-). Have an awesome Friday!
He is entitled to see whoever he wants, but not need to stay on the drama train. Let it go….
Hannah
He’s going to see he sent it to you so it would look strange for you not to reply I think. I’d simply send a “was that meant for me?”. It’s not confrontational to ask. I think it will be worse if you leave it and wait for clues/explanation from him. That’s going to make you uptight and worried.
Ginger
Did he say he was only dating you? Did he say he wanted to be exclusive with you?
If not, then you really have no reason to be mad at him. You have to assume until a man licks you down, that he is seeing other women. Two weeks of dating is nothing. You don’t know him or his real intentions at this point.
Let it go. Time will tell if he is really interested in you.
Ginger
I disagree. I would not text a thing. It doesn’t warrant a response.
What do you expect him to day? Yes I was asking another girl to my house? At best he will make something up. And frankly, what is the point of calling him out on this? Unless he agreed to be exclusive with her, he can see whoever he wants.
Teri
YOu are being way too overly dramatic over this. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sent wrong text to someone, even did it few months back to my date when I meant to send it to my sister.
when I realized it, i said ooops that wasn’t meant for you. he replied with ‘oh yeay it was meant for your other guy I know”
however the context in the text was something about my nephews school so clearly had nothing to do with another guy. anyway we made a joke of it even called me a spy using a different name, I played along and it wasn’t that big of a deal.
My ex hb does this to me once in a while, I know he has a gf but sometimes he’ll send me something meant clearly for her and I just send a ??. he says sorry, not for you. end of story.Bottom line is I would simpley do a “?” like others have suggested. or even better I’d be cute about it and say “what time?”…….I mean you can’t get your panties all bunched up in a wad. life is too short, take it light.
alia
Love Terris response: “what time?” Or something like: “Yo, I’m here already!”
Veronica
Exactly. I have a assume he is dating other women and there is really no good comes out of it if I call him out to be honest.
I will probably just be silent and wait for him to reach out to me. If he doesn’t, then he is not interested enough.
And no, we are not exclusive and he didn’t tell me anything about his other dating options. We haven’t talked about that and have only been seeing him for 4 times.
Mae
I see no red flags here. You are overanalyzing two numbers. Two numbers! A simple, “Huh?” would suffice.
kellie
haha well, do you know if he lives on 3rd and 33?!
kellie
i honestly would send somehting like this
“?? not sure you sent this to the right person haha” and leave it at that.there’s no reason for you to jump to conclusion, as this was not an explicit/obvious/ i know you’re seeing someone else” kinda message. honestly, i’d be a little huh? about it, but it’s not right to just assume the worst about someone. he hasn’t given you reason to
Veronica
Thanks ladies.
Honestly, I think it definitely has something to do with another woman or a hookup option of his. I am not being too analytical here since I didn’t really care THAT much, but it’s kinda of obvious here:
Because: 1. I know he lives on 3rd and 33 since he told me before.. so agian, it’s definitely his address he was sending out at that time.
2. His parents live in philly so not likely be his parents visiting him in the middle of night, probably not his friends either since they all have to work tmrw who has the energy to hang at 11?
3. Not delivery, since it’s common sense in NYC to order online and it doesn’t usually involve texting people your address (agin, not trying analyzing it it’s just common sense here~)
Anyway, I was a bit hurt but now I understand and I really have no problem he is seeing other girls to be honest, It’s just I am thinking how to ale elegantly respond/deal with this situation~ that’s all.
Veronica
Teri
Veronica this is not rocket science or cause for jury deliberation……
send a simple “?” or “huh” or “hey i’m already there”. and be done already. if its another girl so be it. I”m from NY too BTW so I am familiar with that area (I worked on 23rd & 6th).
could it be he was telling someone maybe where he lives for a future time??????
I don’t understand why your hurting/angry/fretting over this, what am I missing. YOu met few weeks ago, keep it light until there is a commitment or some type of stable relationship.
Tallspicy
Have you thought about you have no idea what he is responding to. Maybe a friend asked where he is so they can pick a place. If he were really wooimg someone or meetimg, there would be a full address… Not a corner…
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