He sent me these texts

Ashley you said it ! Considering five hours have passed. Should I still send an ‘OK’ or leave it?

Jenny I feel like you often want to combat whatever I say & aggressively push your opinion no matter what not sure why .. it’s up to the op to take my logic or not & making quotations around my advice in a mocking way really isn’t necessary you say no offense but the way you write it is like you need to stand on a soap box to discredit what I say often but my logic stands as I know what I’m talking about from experience. A whole response to the advice I gave to the op is kind of uncessary because I actually do know what I’m talking about. if you don’t agree with me that’s cool but it’s just unecessary you seem to do this with me often take specific phrases I say & go on them. My logic behind what I say is:

Guys don’t care to hear all that blah blah blah blah when their mind is made up, it doesn’t do any good to do that. There is no benefit. & pleaser overdrive can happen after any amount of years that’s what turns guys off when a guy clearly is over the situation & when you say anything else it looks like you’re trying to convince them. It’s not impressive to them. To the woman it does not look like we are trying to please or convince but men see it & interpret it in that way.

If a guy wants to make it work with a woman nothing will keep him from trying. In this situation he is showing that he does not want to try. Hence my advice to agree with him. THAT may make him say “wait a minute, she is giving up so easily….”

Done . Said ok! I will keep you all posted x

” 1. I cant do this 2. You are too busy 3. I dont know how you work so hard but I suffer emotionally.”

I don’t think this is so bad. I’ve sent worse. Do you live together? If not, I’m not sure if I would answer or not. When I have done this, my guy just ignores me. I know he reads them because sometimes something I say gets to him, and he’ll refer to it in some way to set things straight if I’ve falsely accused him of something, or I might mention some tiny little benign part of what I said, and he will say, yeah, you told me that…If I what I said was really over the top, he’ll never bring it up. It’s like it never happened because it is usually a result of him being a real jerk, which he can really be and this is the reason our relationship is sort of comfortably oscillates “somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep.”

Anyway, I might just respond: are you okay? And then I would just not contact him until he contacts you. That’s more than a guy gives us when our psycho buttons are pushed–and you didn’t even do anything wrong.

I’m sorry Ashley, I said it wasn’t personal. I think we just have polar mentalities and are like everyone, are just attracted to/converse with different types of men. I do feel like you’re better suited to advise on this one those :) Seriously, no hard feelings *on my end at least

& Dauny, when YOU’VE sent “worst texts” what is YOUR desired response? What could he say to resolve & calm your “psycho buttons”…? How does him ignoring you make you feel? What’s the deeper rooted issue behind the text in the first place?

& a simple way to not encourage the behavior is to have a CONVERSATION about it… Sit his childish a*s down & say “Hey listen, I’m not sure WTF was going on with you today, but I don’t appreciate receiving your immature, impulsive texts while I’m busy and trying to work. We’ve discussed this issue numerous times and if you can’t deal with my limited time then we need to just go our separate ways. I’m trying my hardest to make this work and I don’t seem to be able to provide what’s going to make you happy because it’s just not POSSIBLE for me right now. I’m giving you what I can and I’m sorry if it’s not enough but once again, if you can’t handle it, it’s best we do break up because your behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable” PERIOD

Anon you have every right to feel that way especially since he doesn’t act like he even wants your input on it he is just spewing off stuff at you and it’s not fair to you. You deserve better! :)

Jenny no hard feelings either it’s all love here haha sometimes I just find it on the rude side when you take specific things I say in quotations accompanied by “lol” in what appears condesending tone & go on about what I am saying in a negative manner.

I don’t mean to get off topic I’m only saying this so you understand what I mean for example when I posted the thread other day just sharing out of humor, not asking for criticism or advice, you took an insignificant sentence I said in a conversation & went on about it to suggest I sounded full of myself & you would neverrrr say such a thing. Whereas not only was that not the case, I was only saying a fact, but it actually had nothing to do with anything regarding the crux of my thread whatsoever.

As I’ve said before, just because your perspective or opinion may be different than mine sometimes does not mean what I am saying is incorrect.

I’m sure you don’t mean it like that (as you said) but I am just saying it comes off catty & unnecessary to me each time. It only FEELS personal to me because you criticize my exact words.

I am sure you don’t mean it in that way but it’s just how it looks when I read it lol if you would be so kind, I could do without it in the future.

I’m not trying to sound overly sensitive I just come on here in positivity & when I get irritated like that it makes me feel negative which I don’t want to feel on here of all places. I hope that makes sense. :)

That incident I wrote about happened about 2 years ago

Anon, ask him to meet in person and discuss. You will lose him if the issues are not resolved. Maybe for the best if he is needy.

Lol. Geez, I don’t know about this one… I’m 50/50 to ignore or attempt to resolve. Would depend on my mood. AT MOST I’d say “Babe, please stop. This isn’t fun anymore. Come over *if that’s an option* and let’s talk or I’ll just talk to you later.”

Then I’d add “Love you BTW”

& Dauny I’m sorry :( but at least he forgave you for your stupid texts in the beginning :) I was TERRIBLE after my breakup when I would text guys. I was a total hot MESS!! Lol. The worst was when I sent this guy *what I’m assuming* some raunchy, explicit texts about what I wanted to do to his friend THEN lost my phone in a cab- I was embarrassingly trashed and now has ZERO idea what I said… I talked to him later & he joked he was going to print them out and blah blah blah. I ended up dating said friend for a while & I still wonder what I said… I owned it and was just like I can’t even imagine what I said but we must get together, read them, and have a laugh about them one day! Lol

Anon,
I think he might be in trouble, like anxiety or depression. He could be clinically depressed, but if that is the case, that is no fun to deal with and sometimes they can be dangerous. Help me is not normal. I’m not sure what you could do for him, do you think he could be suicidal? Maybe you could call some kind of hotline for advice.

Also, what’s the big deal about being needy. This is just a general comment. I am the first to admit I have a void that when filled feels wonderful, and if a significant other does not give me reassurance when I need it, I’m very unhappy in the relationship. I am not clingy or dependent though, that is just gross to me. There is so much fear about appearing needy, we can’t even completely be ourselves or reach out for help when needed. I actually have a need for a guy to like my body exactly the way it is, not thinking I should lose a few pounds. I test them early on by saying things that will solicit a response letting me know if they think I’m super attractive, not necessarily conventional, but to them. If they don’t pass the test, I never answer there texts or calls again. For example, this one guy acted like he thought he was better than me, or that I’m nothing special, yet he wanted to see me again. One thing he say that failed him in my test was, about himself, “I’ve got a body like a 24 year old.” He was my age, late 40s. I said, well I’ve been told I’ve got a body like a 24 year old too. He laughed at me. The little shit that I could have picked up and thrown his 5’5″ ass out the window (and I am not big, just voluptuous). He was so sure he had me hooked, well I really enjoyed ignoring his 11 texts the next day and his stalking my profile over the next couple months.
So what’s the big deal about neediness? Really…